Floofversive (floofinition) – a housepet seeking or intending to subvert an established system or hierarchy.
In use: “The big boxer knew he was the resident king, but the new puppy was an unaware floofversive.”
Floofhaha
Floofhaha (floofinition) – an uproar caused by a housepet.
In use: “A floofhaha erupted when one cat jumped onto the table – where no animal was authorized – and the beagle started barking to alert the people about the crime, causing the flighty young tabby cat to leap off the window sill to a coffee table, where they slid into houseplant, sending it crashing to the floor.”
Floofculent
Floofculent (floofinition) – a housepet who is aggressively defiant.
In use: “”Get off the table, you floofculent beast,” she said, squirting the cat again. Emitting a long, scornful meow, the small tuxedo fellow hunkered down, but stayed on the table.”
Floofjacent
Floofjacent (floofinition) – a housepet’s propensity for sitting or laying beside their people, or staying close to them as people walk around.
In use: “He noticed that his pets – three dogs and two cats – always sought to be floofjacent to him. As a game, he would begin walking in one direction, wait until the pets were all floofjacent, and then suddenly change directions and rush away. They quickly caught on to his ruse, except for the beagle, who was always getting distracted.”
Floofeiture
Floofeiture (floofinition) – the loss or giving up of something to a pet, most often in reference to furniture, but also used in connection with food.
In use: “Finally admitting the he needed to get up to pee, he reluctantly did so, knowing that doing so meant floofeiture to one of the animals waiting to take his seat. If he had to bet on it, he would say the corgi would win.”
Floofkin
Floofkin (floofinition) – an animal with a bright orange color or markings that resembles a pumpkin; an indulgent nickname for a pet.
In use: “”Hey floofkin,” he said as the bright orange tabby ran up to him. Its tail was straight up except for a crook at the end. “Want something to eat?”
“”Mew,” the kitty replied, rubbing against the man’s leg.”
Cofloofitate
Cofloofitate (floofinition) – to share a place with pets; pets of different species sharing a dwelling.
In use: “Cofloofitating with dogs, cats, and birds, he was surprised by their demonstrated intelligence and compassion. They comforted not only him when he was sick or sad, but watched over one another, too.”
Floofbush
Floofbush (floofinition) – a surprise attack by pets lying in wait in a concealed position.
In use: “As a kitten, he became a floofbush expert. No tail, toe, foot, or finger was safe, and everyone, human and animal, were acceptable targets. Once he was an expert, he didn’t want to give it up, so every guest was warned on entering, “The cat will probably get you, but don’t worry. He’s just playing.” Still, though warned, more than one person jumped, shrieked, or shouted, which seemed to please the cat.”
Floofversation
Floofversation (floofinition) – an informal talk between one or more people and their pets.
In use: “Each morning as he fed the cats and dogs, they had a floofversation about the weather, the book he was reading, and the news. The animals tended to agree with him, which he interpreted as evidence of their intelligence.”
Absofloofly
Absofloofly (floofinition) – with no qualification, restriction, or limitation on what the housepets are permitted to do or go.
In use: “In an absofloofly dominated home, it’s not surprising to find dogs asleep on sofas, cats preening on tables or exploring kitchen counters, or a person trapped by their beds in their bed.”
Michael Seidel, writer 