Floofucate (floofintion) – give intellectual, moral, and social instruction about having housepets or being a housepet.
In use: “He’d never had a cat before, but the kitten soon floofucated him about cat rules.”
Floofcapade
Floofcapade (floofinition) – a show put on by or for housepets.
In use: “When the puppies met the cats, it became quite a floofcapade. The fearless puppies hustled up to the tom and queen. Bewildered, the two cats raised paws to swat but didn’t hit anyone, instead leaning forward to sniff the puppies. To the puppies, that meant lick, sniff, and jump on. Watching with alarm, Susan awaited the cat’s response, but to her surprise, they let the puppies chase them around.
“Animals would never stop surprising her, she thought.”
Floofvitational
Floofvitational (floofinition) – an exclusive event centered around housepets.
In use: “Dinner was a floofvitational as the cats, dogs, and bird jostled for their part of the evening repast. Having another human in, even if she was a date and potential mate, put a damper on this day’s floofvitational as the animal retreated from the stranger, except for Penny. Penny was always ready to eat and didn’t care who else was there, as long as he got his share.”
Lycanfloofpy
Lycanfloofpy (floofinition) – a delusion that a housepet has become a wolf; a housepet’s assumption of the form and characteristics of a wolf held to be possible by witchcraft, magic, or quantum mechanics.
In use: “If your cat suffers from lycanfloofpy, they’re apt to howl at the moon when it’s full, and become more predatory, stalking you and others as though it’s hungry like a wolf.”
Floofpensity
Floofpensity (floofinition) – a housepet’s inclination or natural tendency to behave in a particular way.
In use: “Although the cat had never been more than a few steps from the back door, where he liked to sun on the patio. his floofpensity was to stalk everyone and everything in the house, pouncing on objects, gallivanting around like he chased game, and swatting at the air.”
Floofthanize
Floofthanize (floofinition) – to be loved to death by a housepet.
In use: “Large and intractable, the pittie was determined to show his affection to Anders whenever Anders returned home, so Anders had to accommodate being floofthanized for thirty minutes to an hour in his daily schedule.”
Floofanomics
Floofanomics (floofinition) – the costs and budgeting process associated with feeding and caring for housepets. The four pillars associated with floofanomics are, keep your pets happy, get your pets healthy, keep your pets healthy, and keep your pets happy.
In use: “With floofanomics, decisions sometimes become difficult with cats. While dogs seem willing to eat any- and everything, cats sometimes shun what they just scarfed down a minute before. It’s a mystery.”
Magna Cata
Magna Cata (floofinition) – legendary charter of rights signed by feline representatives. Reports vary about where the Magna Cata was signed and its fate. One enduring theory suggests that Noah was forced to create the document to entice two cats to board the ark, but then burned it after the waters rose.
In use: “The dog smirked at the cat. “The Magna Cat no longer exists,” he said. “Some stupid cat started playing with it and tore it up.” Seeing the cat’s baleful gaze, the dog said, “At least, that’s what I’ve always been told.””
Floofercise
Floofercise (floofinition) – exercise achieved by interaction with a housepet; exercise routines used by housepets.
In use: “Every day, the young orange cat walked up to the person when she emerged from the bedroom and mewed in greeting, and then jumped into a floofercise routine, galloping around the room as though an invisible rider had applied spurs to the cat.”
Floofmiration
Floofmiration (floofinition) – a feeling of wonder, pleasure, or approval about a housepet; a housepet’s demonstration of wonder, pleasure, or approval about an object or being.
In use: “It was a mutual floofmiration process, with the cat on the man’s lap, gazing at him with adoration as the man stroked the cat’s gray fur, and the two dogs lounged on the sofa on either side, relaxed and comfortable.”
Michael Seidel, writer 