Catcism

Today, in a more serious tone, I need to address catcism.

Catcism is making decisions upon who you’ll spend time with and how much you like them based on their existence as cats.

Many catcists don’t acknowledge they’re catcists. “I like people,” they protest. “It’s just that cats like me. They like following me around, watching  me bath and shower, licking me dry afterward, sharing my food, sleeping with me, supervising my activities, marking my clothing with their fur so other cats don’t try to take me over when they let me out of their sight….

“I’m not the one with the problem. You people that complain that I spend too much time with cats are the ones with the problems. You’re just jealous because cats don’t like you like they like me.

“Sure, yes, I’ll admit, I do like cats,” they’ll continue. “I admire their independence and cleverness. Their antics amuse me, and they really love me. They ask nothing in return except that I feed and obey them, and make room for them wherever I’m sitting or sleeping. Most of all, they’re honest. They’ll never betray me.”

Yes, sadly, catcists can’t see their catcism for the cats.