pets – Page 42 – Michael Seidel, writer

Barkalounger (floofinition) – Place where a dog enjoys relaxing.

In use: “The sofa was the dogs’ favorite barkalounger, gathering on it quickly when it became available, jockeying for the best spot, but the cat often beat them there, and nobody messed with the Queen.”

Legerdefloof (floofinition) – An adroit display of skill or cleverness by an animal.

In use: “Employing legerdefloof with teeth and paws, the golden retriever unwrapped his leash from where it was tied to keep him wandering, and then went over, did the same with his companion’s leash, freeing the two to take off and explore the park.”

Flooformation (floofinition) – 1. Animal’s ability to change its look, attitude, or behavior.

In use: “Crystal was a sweet little Bombay black with a softly questioning meow, a deeply happy purr, and the most gorgeous black velvet fur. She loved sleeping on laps, but the first sound of an animal fight brought a flooformation into baleful-eyed ninja cat, terrifying other animals — and humans who got in her way.”

2. A change to an animal brought about by care, patience, and/or medical assistance.

In use: “His first years in the neighborhood, Tucker was identified as a black and white terror, a beast unwilling to back down and eager to bring it on. Dental work, patient words, and a home to call his, and his flooformation into a doting lap cat began.”

3. The standard pecking order or line up shared by animals.

In use: “When Michael took the cats for a walk at night — his three, with the neighbor’s big orange cat joining them — they always used the same flooformation, Jade on point, Rocky and Sammy flanking her, and the neighbor cat finishing the diamond as a rear guard. With Michael setting the pace and direction, the five moved as one.”

YouFloof (floofinition) – Social media site where animals post videos predominantly featuring humans acting silly, being sweet, or featuring stories of animals saving humans. Some videos of humans being cruel are also shared as a learning experience.

In use: “A popular YouFloof video depicts a team of humans working together to rescue stranded kittens. Many animals remark in the comments that such behavior restores their faith in humans.”

Floofabration (floofinition) – An animal’s activity to mark something by festivities or other deviation from routine.

In use: “After capturing a mouse and releasing it in the house, the cat began a floofabration, singing at the top of its lungs, “All praise the mighty hunter and the presents which he brings you, come see, come see, come see,” even though it was oh heavy snoring in the morning.”