Tag: pet behavior

Floof School

Floof School (floofinition) Institution which has been guiding and instructing animals for living with humans for centuries. Although primarily dominated by cats and dogs deciding to become pets, enrollment has spiked, with a huge and diverse student body, as human’s activities encroach on animals’ habitats, forcing the animals to learn how to live with humans.

In use: “There are courses of studies for cats, dogs, and other creatures to become pets, but the Floof School has noticed that many animals are taking other species’ courses, with, for example, a Dachshund enrolled in the cats’ courses, and a Siamese auditing the German Shepherds.”

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Flooftap

Flooftap (floofinition) – 1. Gesture used by animal or human to attract the other’s attention.

In use: “Michael used a flooftap on Boo’s back to get the cat’s attention, but was quick — the cat was notorious for whirling and whipping up a disapproving paw, claw extended, without notice.”

In use: “As Michael went about cleaning food bowls prior to replenishing them, Tucker gave his foot a flooftap in passing, like, buddy, can you spare a kibble?”

2. Water faucet where a pet likes to drink.

In use: “Bobbi washed her hands, opened the bathroom door, and was immediately confronted by the Sweeney’s large Golden Retriever, ready to come in to use the flooftap for a drink.”

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Clausfloofphobia

Clausfloofphobia (floofinition) – 1. Extreme concern or fear about an animal being locked up in a confining space.

In use: “Many pet owners experience clausfloofphobia when it comes to putting their fur friend into a small kennel or carrier to take them to the vet. It never helped that the animal cried, whimpered, or meowed like it was the end of the world.”

2. Deep-seated worry that an animal is locked up or trapped somewhere.

In use: “When Beda’s cat disappeared and didn’t come to her calls, clausfloofphobia kicked in as she feared that he was trapped in someone’s house or car.”

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Counterfloof

Counterfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal which appears to be another animal.

In use: “Sometimes at night, counterfloofs — skunks which resembled their big black and white cat — caused confusion and consternation, although calamity was ultimately avoided.”

2. Animal, especially pets, who like to sit on kitchen, restaurant, or bar counters.

In use: “The bird was the worse counterfloof, but seeing the bird on the counter always made the cat think it was okay for her to be a counterfloof, too, which always upset the dog and provoked a barkstorm, because he knew it wasn’t okay for them to be counterfloofs and he hated it when the cat flouted the rules.”

3. Actions taken to mitigate animal influence or divert animal attention or activity.

In use: “Often, as a counterfloof, he surrendered to giving his pets treats so they’d be unaware that the carrier was being prepared to take them to the vet.”

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Floofvent

Floofvent (floofinition) 1. A community of animals, or the building where such a community gather.

In use: “Sacred places, floofvents are often kept secret from humans, as humans have repeatedly demonstrated that many of them cannot be trusted and are a menace to animals.”

2. To proclaim loudly and at length, sometimes with vehemence, about matters involving animals.

In use: “Coming home to discover wrecked plants, an overturned trash can in the kitchen, and two shredded toilet paper rolls strewn around the house, Penni indulged in a floofvent for the first fifteen minutes after her arrival.”

3. An animal’s long, nonstop tirade about something bothering them.

In use: “Hearing sirens often provoke floofvents from some dogs, as they howl back at the noise.”

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Floofporal

Floofporal (floofinition) – 1. Relating to animal affairs as opposed to spiritual or worldly matters.

In use: “Though there were bills to pay, housework to do, and errands to run, Keri gave more attention to floofporal matters like walking the dog or brushing the cat’s fur.”

2. Time as related to animals.

In use: “The Floofporal Port allowed animals to travel anywhere in time within a specified period, according to their Human Index Relationship Rating (HIRR). For example, dinosaurs, with a few modern exceptions, were not allowed to visit, say, 2022 San Francisco, while cats and dogs could and did zip back and forth between periods, often visiting the same person in a different life again and again.”

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Bossfl’f

Bossfl’f (floofinition) – Animal slang for the alpha or lead member of a group.

In use: “All the house cats and dogs knew the female in the house was the bossfl’f, so they mostly ignored what the man and children said, unless a treat was offered.”

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