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Floofgilist (floofinition) – Animal who frequently fights.
In use: “Ethel, a little Yorkie, was great friends with the family cats and dogs, (along with the direct neighbors’ cats), but let any animal from outside her select circle enter her yard, and she was a little floofgilist, attacking and fighting them all.”
Stealers Floof (floofinition) – Scottish floof rock (flock) group active and popular in the 1960s.
In use: “Stealers Floof (sometimes written as Stealer’s Floof) is most known for a song called “Stuck in the Middle with Me”, a jaunty song about house pets that won’t give their people a minute of peace or solitude.”
Floofnosis (floofinition) – Trancelike state experienced by people, particularly pet owners, induced by animals that makes people readily susceptible to the animals’ suggestions.
In use: “Many house pets find themselves forced to use floofnosis on their owners to get more treats as owners become convinced (often by insidious observations made by vets (in the animals’ view)) that the animals are overweight.”
Floofertainment (floofinition) – 1. Diversion or amusement provided by animals, especially pets, live or via recorded or printed media.
In use: “Floofertainment often ends up with people wondering just what the animals are thinking, or becoming surprised by the animals’ apparent intelligence.”
2. Activities animals use to divert or amuse themselves.
In use: “Many housepets go to the house windows for floofertainment, watching squirrels, birds, and other animals running around or flying past, sometimes becoming as excited and jubilant as an NFL fan watching their team score.”
Floofpisode (floofinition) – A usually brief unit of action done by an animal or witnessed that’s part of a larger series of actions or behavior.
In use: “In the latest floofpisode, the cat entered the room, walked straight across to where the dog was sleeping, swatted him on the head, turned and walked back out.”
Foodfloof (floofinition) – Animal with an ardent interest in food and beverages.
In use: “Jade was the ultimate foodfloof. Twenty years old, half-blind, and asthmatic, kitchen sounds (or grocery bags or take-out being brought in) rejuvenated her. She’d spring up like a four-year-old and storm the counters, insisting that she get a bit of whatever was being served.”
Ambfloof (floofinition) 1. An animal who enjoys making surprise attacks on others.
In use: “Kittens are particularly pleased with being an ambfloof, pouncing on others without warning, and some never outgrow the habit.”
2. Animal tactic of surprising another by springing out on them from a concealed position, without warning.”
In use: “Although nine years old, Tigger remained fond of the ambfloof, so a warning sign was put in the foyer, warning all who enter the house.”
Paintfloof (floofinition) – 1. A helpful animal who wants to be involved with every painting project.
In use: “As soon as he got out the painting supplies, Tucker, who’d been deep asleep in the other room (he’d stolen in and checked), became a paintfloof, hurrying in and sitting down in the middle of everything.”
2. Animal who often seems to be posing for a portrait.
In use: “Coolly majestic and remote, with a deep, long-distance stare, Quinn always seemed to be posing for a painting, but the little paintfloof rushed off whenever a device was pointed his way.”
3. Animal who appears to be painted or colored with paint.
In use: “The classic paintfloof has to be Pepé Le Pew’s romantic lead, the poor little black cat who always ended up with a white stripe down her back, causing him to believe that she was also a skunk, like him, and causing him to fall deeply in love.”
Floofoscope (floofinition) – An floofological forecast based on the relative positions of dimensions, planets, and signs of the floofdiac at a specific time for use by animals in foretelling events in their life, identifying personality traits, and inferring what humans to live with and trust.
In use: “She was a stray in a shelter, waiting for the right person to come along, and she knew who it was because he had been foretold in her floofoscope. As soon as he walked in, she jumped up, happy that the time to meet him had at last arrived.”
The Floof Academy (floofinition) – Prestigious, selective, and secretive school where animals go to learn how to dominate, control, and manipulate humans. Sometimes shortened to TFA, or referred to as FA, or The Floof.
In use: “With more homes wired for the Internet, The Floof Adademy had begun online courses in the twenty-first century. People staying at home due to the COVID-19 pandemic caused some schedule re-shuffling and increased resentment in animals toward humans.”
Michael Seidel, writer 