Tag: humor

Flooftuseness

Flooftuseness (floofinition) Individual or organization who struggle to comprehend the importance of treating animals kindly, or human’s loving relationships with animals. Origins: 16th century, Europe

In Use: “One obvious sign of flooftuseness is when a person says to another person worrying about their fur friend, ‘What’s the big deal? It’s just an animal.'”

In Use: “Cementing her decision to separate from Derrick, who was showing himself to be less than the ideal mate than first impressions, was when Derrick refused to stop to help an injured animal because he wanted to reach home to watch an NBA game, a flooftuseness which Karin would not accept.”

Recent Use: “Donald Trump, Jr., proudly and consistently displayed his flooftuseness by going on hunting trips and then proudly showing his ‘trophies’ on social media.”

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Thursday’s Wandering Thoughts

Ever go into someplace and smell something that is almost nasty or appalling? You can’t quite ID it but you look around, thinking, wondering, is that me or something in here? Then you hope, of course, that it’s not you.

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Flooftrigue

Flooftrigue (floofinition) – Secret or underhanded floofinations done by animals. Origins: 1676, France.

In Use: “Nobody could understand how the kittens were escaping their safe room every day until a camera was installed and caught the flooftrigue as the Retriever sniffed the door and then then opened it, letting the kittens loose before nosing the door closed.”

Recent Use: “People in Texas were intrigued by Cleo the cat burglar and the flooftrigue around his stealing antics that were caught on camera.”

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Smooflooing

Smooflooing (floofinition) – Covering an animal with an excessive number of kisses.

In Use: “Barbie loved finding her cat, Hamilton asleep on the bed (which was his favorite place to nap day and night) and smooflooing his belly, which always brought his bright green eyes open and a deep, throbbing purr.”

In Use: “Withng a month of being adopted, Cameron had taught his people to begin smooflooing his face and belly whenever the big lab threw himself, whether it was on a walk, in the house, or in the backyard or driveway.”

Recent Use: “The web has become a repository of videos of people smooflooing their pets, especially cats and dogs.”

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thoughts

Tuesday was an average day until the man beside me made a move. White as snow, a frazzled gray-beard with hippy-long hair in a pony tail like he’s Willy Nelson, shorter than me by a foot, he broke the day’s calm normalcy by finishing his coffee with a loud slurp, setting the cup down and then walking out through the coffee shop wall. I saw this out of my side vision and swung around, staring as my mind argued about what my eyes were telling me.

Hoping for verification, I shot a look back into the room. Three women at a nearby table were staring at the space beside me. The eldest, pointing and talking, was saying, “That man went through the wall,” as the second, younger, middle-aged, with long blonde hair dry and damaged from aging, was saying, “What?” in that rising confused way which expressed profound doubt about what she was hearing. Her position would have her facing away so she probably didn’t see. But the third, who could have been the blonde’s sister but skinnier, older, and dark-haired, was empatically stating, “Yes, yes, that’s what I saw.”

“You saw that,” I demanded of the two, and they were nodding and asking, “Did you see it, too?” and an elderly man approached, stating in a loud, quavering voice, “I saw that, too, that guy went right out through the wall, I saw it, I saw it.”

Guffawing, my brain said, “Happy New Year,” as the walls began melting and screams rose. 2024 was going to be interesting, if I survive. Either that or this coffee was something really special.

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Lootching

Lootching (floofinition) – Combined stretching and looking at something by an animal who has been sleeping. Origins: Internet, US, 2023

In Use: “Walking into the bedroom, he awoke his floof, who responded with some intense lootching before curling into another sleeping position and resuming his nap.”

In Use: “The dogs and cats conducted synchronized lootching when Carrie walked in, and then pause, watching to see if she offered food, before returning to their snoozing.”

Recent Use: “An ancient Floofverb states, ‘There’s no lootching among distrustful animals.'”

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Coffee Powr

I’m a retired military veteran and over sixty-five years old. That combo means my health insurance is through a hybrid product that requires me to sign up for Medicare A & B when I turned 65. Mediacare provides primary coverage to me and my wife; TriCare for Life (TFL, officially known on the web as TriCare4Life) gives us secondary coverage. It’s not a bad deal. It isn’t free; my wife and I both pay for Part B.

What made my coffee taste more bitter than usual was a bill from my provider received this month. They said I owed them over a hundred dollars for lab work and that TFL hadn’t paid anything. Egged on by my other, that sent me into a tizzy of indignation. A website I found said, yep, TFL doesn’t pay for preventive lab work. This made no friggin’ sense and only urged me to greater outrage.

I logged into the various systems this week to find answers. Not finding satisfaction there, I was forced to *gag* call them and speak to people. I have nothing against people or talking but I dislike phones and bureaucracies. Girding myself with a mug of stout dark goodness, I called T4L. After providing evidence of who I am and waiting a few minutes, I was connected to Derek.

I explained it all to him and proved who I am to him. Derek began ferreting through the systems for more about my grievance. I logged into my provider portal and dug out more details. Shame on me, but only then did I realize that this bill was for services from May of 2022. That just seemed wild that I’m dealing with that over eighteen months later.

Derek looked into it and discovered that T4L didn’t pay it because Asante, who did the work, didn’t send an EOB for the Medicare part that was paid. “Have more coffee and call the provider,” Derek advised.

Thanking him for his assistance and wishing him a good day and Merry New Year, I did so. After providing evidence about who I am and a short wait, Karen heard my tale. “Interesting,” she said. “We show that T4L denied the claim.”

What?

She went on to tell me it’d been rejected three times and that’s why they were now billing me. “Let me contact the insurance section and confirm they sent the needed EOB,” she went on. “I’m going to email them now.” She typed away while I listened to keyboard clickety-clack. “There,” she said. “Now we’ll see what happens. Your bill is due next week but ignore that. If you get another bill or notice asking for payment, give us a call to check on the status, okay?”

Sure. I thanked Karen, wished her good day and Happy New Year, hung up and wrote up my notes. Now I wait, but I feel optimistic about the outcome. The whole thing only took one hour.

I couldn’t have done it without coffee, though.

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