Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Infloofuation (floofinition) An intense but brief, highly charged exchange of affection between two animals or between a human and animal.
In use: “When the dog met the cat, serious infloofuation happened, with the dog wagging his entire body and the cat throwing herself, rolling around and purring while the dog licked her exposed belly.”
Floofpid Shuffle (floofinition) Modern dance with floofs which requires a person to jump one way to avoid a floof, and then another, starting in a new direction, then changing directions, followed by hopping, turning, and twisting while the floof does its own dance moves.
In use: “Many people owned by pets can stylishly do the floofpid shuffle, but for a real challenge, some add multiple leashes and pull off some really impressive moves to stay disentangled and in control.”
The Floofy Hop (floofinition) A dance done by animals and humans where the animals try to intercept the humans, get their attention, or herd them one way, while humans attempt to continue on the path of what they were trying to do.
In use: “Whenever Bob went to feed Lucifer, they had to do the floofy hop as Lucifer cried for his attention, entwined herself through his legs and around his ankles, and threw herself on her back on front of him, forcing Bob to turn and turn again to avoid stepping on the floof.”
Maybe it’s just me, but whenever I see a cuddle puddle of sleepy kittens in a photo or video on the net, there’s usually one staring suspiciously at the camera.
A clothing purge was conducted last week. On of the items uncovered in the closet was my military cap. Last worn in 1995, I put that sucker on my head.
Or tried.
It would not cover my head as accustomed in my mil days. I took it into the other room for my wife to enjoy. With a burst of laughter, she exclaimed, “That looks like a skull cap.”
Questions arose. Did the hat shrink as it sat on a shelf for the last 28 years, or did my head really grow that much? I might start measuring my head, track its progress, see how much it changes in the next ten years.
I find myself part of a new breed, one that looks at the activity tracker on their wrist and then taps it to reach a specific piece of desired information or function. I think I’ll call folks like me ‘wrist-tappers’. Maybe just tappers.
Cuddle puddles on your arms,
Showering you with furry charms.
Can induce laziness with little will,
Making the need to do things drop to nil.
Maybe sleep and read,
Or read and sleep,
Or just stroke the floofs,
And live and be.
They’ll take your cares and troubles away,
But you’ll probably end up losing a day.
Though most say, that’s alright in the end,
Cause what’s better than spending time with friends?
My wife said, “I’m going to wear my blue sweater that I wore the other day, but I think you can see through it in the sunlight.”
I answered, “You can.”
“You could see through it?”
“Yes.”
“You could see through it but you chose not to say anything?”
“You’re very fashion aware. It’s a loose knit sweater. I thought you knew.”
Eyes rolling, throwing her hands up, she stormed off. I shrugged, guessing, I must be the asshole for not saying anything, and then reflecting on the entire process one more time.
We didn’t stay angry long; after being together for over fifty-two years as friends and everything else, we don’t stay angry. Act out or vent, move on. She came out, ready to go. She wasn’t wearing the blue sweater in question but a light blue sweater. I said, sincerely, “You look nice.”
She grinned at me. “Not see through?”
“Totally opaque,” I replied.
Floofvoid (floofinition) – 1. The empty space left when an animal isn’t there.
In use: “Many people suffer from floofvoid when a loved fur friend is lost.”
2. Action or behavior to prevent an accident or limit interaction with an animal.
In use: “Floofvoiding mechanisms were frequently employed by Nancy as she walked around the house, because her pets would just throw themselves in her way for attention.”
Michael Seidel, writer 