Whipperfloofer
Whipperfloofer (floofinition) – An animal who is floofsumptuous and does not follow norms nor expectations. Origins: Middle fourteenth century, Middle Floof, from Anglo-Floof.
In Use: “Shocking the establish dog, who was used to being the alpha beast, the whipperfloofer took over his bed and basically ignored him when he ordered them to leave.”
In Use: “The three puppies were shy at first but quickly demonstrated they were whipperfloofers, bounding around the room like spirited winds and taking over every inch of furniture within the hour.”
Recent Use: “A man shared a video of a whipperfloofer entering his house, look around, and decide this was their place.”
Sunday’s Wandering Thoughts
My brain let slip to my stomach, “He brought a boatload of food home,” ‘he’ being me.
My stomach immediately began berating me to go eat things. “The Neurons told me you have dark chocolate coconut cups. Let’s eat a couple of those.”
“No.”
“They said there was a sandwich in there. Let’s eat that.”
“No.”
“What about the canteloupe?”
“No.”
“Come on, man, let us eat something. We’re starving here.”
“You’re not starving. You had a large breakfast. What’s the matter with you?”
My stomach groaned. “Fooooddd.”
Honestly, you’d think I haven’t eaten in a year, the way my stomach is going on.
Floofpetition
Floofpetition (floofinition) Competing among animals to win favor, treats, or rewards. Origins: Unknown, first noted use in 21st century.
In Use: “The cat and dog got along but always indulged in floofpetition for their people’s attention. The cat always won because, although about five times larger than the cat, the dog had a much sweeter disposition.”
Recent Use: “Tough to say where the greatest floofpetition between the house floofs came — during Battle for the Lap, You Got Treats, or Game of Floofs.”
Love This
Trump — who didn’t build the great wall he claimed he would, who didn’t have a new healthcare plan even though he kept promising to reveal it in two weeks, who has a lengthy string of failed businesses behind him — well, you know who he is by now and his character — roiled the world with another pompous claim, this time that he could have negotiated a compromise — a deal — that would have avoided the American Civil War. Mind you, multiple deals had already been negotiated, but face it, keeping people as goods, and torturing and raping them was not sustainable in the emerging ethos of the period.
But this cartoon captures Trump’s mind at work on the issue better than anything I could write here.
Thursday’s Theme Music
Mood: variable
Today is Thursday, January 11, 2024. Snow flew through the skies all day yesterday except for one fifteen minute period. Other than that whenever I looked out, it was coming down.
The temperature rose, though, so the snow was melting, and the plow truck had passed through multiple times, so the roads were clear. An ice danger remained in shadowy parts. Always does.
Then, three o’clock, the temperature dropped and a new snow assault began. I don’t know when it ended but we have eight inches in my area/elevation this morning. But the sun is shining, and blue skies are seeping through the thinning grey clouds, so it’s a gorgeous winter morning. Was 29 F when I got up. Now it’s 37. 44 is expected to be the upside. Rain is supposedly on its way but right now, no rain clouds are in sight.
The day started badly for me with a prolonged bout of BPPV – Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. Basically, crystals in your ears responsible for your balance break loose and wreak havoc. Bursts of vertigo result, with nausea and vomiting. It’s more prevalent in people over sixty and more women experience it than men.
I’ve never had it before, but it came on strong. Just after midnight, as we were closing shop, I experienced sharp vertigo when I moved my head. Everything in my vision bounced around me and I thought I’d blacked out for a second because of its intensity. Asking myself, “What the fuck was that,” I observed it again and again. Meanwhile, my left ear was ringing. I began getting hot. Within seconds, sweat covered me, beading on my face. Simultaneously, a feeling was growing in my solar plexus. I thought I was getting hungry and was amused because we’d had an excellent dinner, but no; I was getting ready to refund dinner.
Feeling the vomiting sensation rising with tsunami-like intensity, I lurched for the bathroom. Vertigo crashed over me with every step. I hung onto walls and furniture, pinballing from piece to piece to stay upright. I just made it to the commode. Then violent vomiting began. My wife hurried in to get the story but I couldn’t speak, as my mouth was busy with the heaving for five minutes.
When that segment ended, I gasped out my symptoms and she charged to her computer to see what could be learned. Moving my head, I had another violent five minute session. My wife reported that she thought it was BPPV, which she’d once experienced. She also had several friends endure her, so she has so familiarity with it. With her help, I went supine to the bathroom floor. She brought me a pillow.
I didn’t want to stay on the bathroom floor. By now, my body was shaking. Deciding to try to get up, I went into another V2 – vertigo/vomiting – episode, though little was in my stomach. Didn’t matter. I simply retched and retched. Now convinced by my weakness, shaking, vertigo, and vomiting to not move, I hung onto the commode and bathtub and obeyed the illness’s commands.
My wife came in and told me about the Home Epley Maneuver to cope with BPPV. I resolved to try it but learned that any head movement fired up the vertigo, followed by puking and shaking. My body’s sharp spasms almost caused me to almost defecate in my sleepwear. I recognized that I wasn’t going anywhere for a while.
It was now 1:45; I’d been enduring this for over 100 minutes and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. I couldn’t stay where I was, I decided, because new visions of vertigo and a need for sleep fed fears of my head or mouth crashing into the porcelain surrounding me. I told my wife I needed her help to move, and outlined my plan to go to the office, and sit still in there in a chair under covers, and maybe sleep until this passed. I’d take a small waste basket with me. She came up with the idea of bringing in my wheeled-desk chair so I wouldn’t need to walk, because the vertigo and its follow-on consequences lit up with every movement.
That worked. Pulling in a second chair, my feet were elevated and the blanket put on me. Then I clutched the wastebasket to my chest and dry-heaved for a couple minutes. She went to bed and I slumbered off and on in the chair, puking a few more times. Thinking that I was tired of holding the waste basket on my chest, I eased it to the floor. That induced another round of vertigo and puking.
At 5 AM, I needed to pee. Rising and walking with the stiffness and gait Frankenstein’s monster, I took care of business but kept my head movement to a minimum. My body expressed some interest in puking but they were mild and I suppressed them. The moving actually seemed to help. My sleeping position had been uncomfortable, so I rearranged things into a more comfortable position and turned on the television for companionship, streaming some old show. No more puking was endured and sleep finally came. I didn’t wake up until 8:30 and felt much better.
I did the Epley Maneuvers a little while ago. I’m still shaky and tired, and leery of eating anything. My wife made me a smoothie for breakfast and now, here I sit, intermittently searching the net for more info about BPPV.
The Neurons, always ready with a sick sense of humor, started playing “Dizzy” by Tommy Roe from 1969 in the morning mental music stream (Trademark crashed) because of my vertibo bouts. I know the song well. My stepfather when the song came out was George. He had two daughters. The oldest one was nicknamed Dizzy, so when the song came out, she adopted it as her theme music.
Stay positive, test negative, be strong, and lean forward. No coffee yet today; just water (dehydrated this morning, for some reason) and the smoothie. Here’s the music. Cheerio
Flooace
Flooace (floofinition) 1. A person who is not an animal expert or but is knowledgeable about animals from experience. Origins: Internet era circa 2003 in this meaning, a combination of floof and ace.
In Use: “Growing up with dogs and cats — her mother’s cat slept with her from the day she was brought home, engendering some mild, amused jealousy in Mom that Marla had stolen her cat — made Marla a flooace by the time she was fifteen. Everyone thought she would be a vet, but she instead went into politics because she’d decided that the world needed to change and she was the one who was going to do it.”
Recent Use: “People post lost or found animals on Nextdoor, and flooaces get online to offer opinions in the comments sections about what to do to resolve the problem.”
2. The locations where animals like to stay or rest. Origins: Text messages first noted in 2019, created from joining floof and place.
In Use: “Tucker’s go-to flooace is under the dining room table when Michael isn’t home, but on Michael’s desk, chair, or computer, when Michael is home and on his computer.”
In Use: “Being a large dog, the Maxinator enjoyed the kingsized bed in the master suite as his flooace, but the rules said he wasn’t allowed in there, so he had to go to his secondary location, on his huge bed by the family room patio door.”
Recent Use: “Some cats, such as Marley — yes, named after the dog in the book and movie — like to find the most unusual flooace to sleep, like it’s a competition to upstage other floofs.”
Infloofcerate
Infloofcerate (floofinition) – 1. To confine an animal. Origins: 1575, in general use.
In Use: “Many people fostering young animals such as kittens or puppies infloofcerate them at first until they’re more developed, comfortable, and aware.”
In Use: “Whenever guests came over, Barb infloofcerated Chet because he was such an energetic, inquisitive, and social fellow, jumping on guests, furniture, and counters to better involve himself.”
Recent Use: “Cam systems have become a regular tool for folks when they infloofcerate, allowing them to track the animals and ensure they stay healthy, comfortable, and safe.”
2. To be trapped or imprisoned by an animal.
In Use: Whenever Kat sat, she was quickly infloofcerated as pets found her and claimed spaces on and around her, limiting her ability to shift, let off moving.”
Recent Use: “Jorge’s pizza was inflooferated as soon as he opened the box as his tiny new kitten, Forester, immediately grabbed a piece by the crust and stood in the pizza’s middle, refusing to cede his spoils.”
Floonergy
Floonergy (floofinition) – 1. The animation, action, and movement demonstrated by animals. Origins: 1974, United States.
In Use: “A pile of puppies’ floonergy can overwhelm many households; having children on hand to watch and play with them is a good counterstrategy.”
In Use: “The cat demonstrated huge levels of floonergy as a kitten, accepting every challenge to climb curtains, take over the ceiling fan, and lounge in a room’s tallest places, and she kept that same floonergy until her middle teens, impressing everyone.”
Recent Use: “Videos of pets demonstrating their floonergy permeate the net, where viewers marvel over animals galloping around a house and leaping over furniture.”
2. Calming influence cast by animals over others.
In Use: “Reaching home, Carmel immediately removed her shoes and sat down. Her cats joined her, spreading their relaxing floonergy over her and extinguishing her work weariness.”
Recent Use: “Although a huge dog, Master G radiated a peaceful floonergy which immediately relaxed those in the same room.”
Michael Seidel, writer 