On Becoming A Geezer
For a friend…
Becoming a geezer, if I may be so bold,
is more about a state of mind than growing old.
Geezers look back on time with misty eyes,
lamenting the lack of truth and the growth of lies.
They’ll disparage the young — “This generation” —
they say with a grunt and a sniff,
“Does so little no wonder the country’s adrift.
“The way it used to be is so much better,
“Like communicating with loved ones with a postage letter.
“And the things which they watch,
“The things which they say,
“The way that they dress —
“That’s not my way.”
Then they break off with a mumble and words which aren’t clear,
And say to the server, “Please bring me another beer.”
Circumfloofar
Circumfloofar (floofinition) – Found or discovered in the vicinity of a floof. First known use in 1686.
In use: “Judging from the circumfloofar collection of torn toilet paper rolls by the puppy and kitten — not even pointing out the pieces stuck to the floofs — they were guilty of a first rate case of floofhem, but both little beasts acted wholly innocent, as though the surrounding mess had nothing to do with them.”
The Writing Moment
It was mid-Saturday morning.
I’d arrived in my favorite coffee locale for my writing session. Vintage soulful music with a jazzy edge was playing on the overhead speaker system. The baristas were busy with drive-through business. Only one other person shared the tables with me, a young woman in a far corner who displayed predatory interest in her cell phone. I’d seen her there before, never with anyone else, and always engaged in her cell. As usual, she was dressed in a sloppy style of what looked like pink and gray pajamas. Her solitude, isolation, and deep focus on her phone piqued my writer side. Oddly, I’d never caught her name from the baristas when her order was called.
I’d pulled my laptop out and had it set up. My mind was already in writing mode. I’m halfway through the first revision of a novel-in-progress with a weird working title, Yum. With my nephew’s wedding and the travel to Pittsburgh and other activities it entailed done, I was eager to delve into the story I’d written. Its speculative nature readily engaged me, and I’m really pleased with what I have so far.
“M, your coffee is up.”
The speaker was the barista, Nate, a good-looking, dark-haired man who seems in his early twenties. I gt along with him quite well. He’s always in a good mood, and we’ll often talk about subjects outside of coffee, inclding smoke and politics.
I headed up to collect my cup and discovered it filled to the brim. Grinning at me, Nate said, “You said you wanted no room.”
I laughed. “Clever.” I reached for a straw.
“Want me to pour some out?” Nate asked while making coffee drinks.
Shaking my head, I gave him a severe look. “Pour out fresh coffee?” Its steamy smell filled my nose. “No, no, challenge accept.”
Inserting the straw into the hot beverage, I sucked some up so it wouldn’t slop any over when I walked. Nate watched and laughed.
“Good job,” he shouted as I took my drink and headed for my table.
“Damn straight,” I answered. If coffee was to be wasted today, it wouldn’t be at my hand.
Time to write like crazy, one more time.
Aflooferation
Aflooferation (floofinition) – A word created that associates an action or behavior with an animal’s antics.
In use: “One aflooferation that M uses is pogoing or pogoed. Pogo was a sweet buff ginger cat, a twenty-two pounder who loved hunting and playing. Once, startled when M’s wife was rubbing Pogo’s belly, dropping her long dark hair over Pogo’s face, he swatted her hard on the head with both front paws, claws retracted. Ever since, whenever a cat hit one of them with their claws in, they say that the cat pogoed them.”
Floofrenting
Floofrenting (floofinition) – Act of raising an animal.
In use: ‘”Contrary to some web sites, floofrenting isn’t about leasing an animal’s use for a period of time,” Sharon explained to John. “It’s about taking them in and helping them mature to be the best animal they can be and have a satisfying life.”‘
Floofsick
Floofsick (floofinition) – Missing a fur friend, and thinking about them, no matter what the circumstances.
In use: “Being away from his floofjoys, M would think of them each morning, hoping they were okay, trying to think brainwaves to them to reassure them he would be returning soon.”
Infloofuation
Infloofuation (floofinition) An intense but brief, highly charged exchange of affection between two animals or between a human and animal.
In use: “When the dog met the cat, serious infloofuation happened, with the dog wagging his entire body and the cat throwing herself, rolling around and purring while the dog licked her exposed belly.”
Michael Seidel, writer 