Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
M.F.W.I.C., aka MFWIC: (Catfinition) – Mother floof what’s in charge, a reference to the household queen who organizes the other pets, and enforces order and structure in the floofhold.
In use: “She wasn’t big nor vocal, but she was the MFWIC, and touching any of her charges – the other household pets – meant you had to first pass her scrutiny, no exceptions.”
He was in the bath room, fresh from the shower and reaching for a towel, when he heard the sound.
It sounded like a thump in the other room, like someone was in the house. Knowing he was home alone, he grew still and listened for it again. He’d left the windows open to bring in fresh, cold mountain air before the day became the oven in hell’s kitchen. Someone may have come through one of the windows.
The thump came again.
It was not from the other room, but from below.
He looked down, considering what he’d heard and where it emanated. For, it seemed like the sound had come from his abdomen.
Listening for it, he heard it again, like someone jumping on the floor, coming from his abdomen.
Was that normal? He’d never heard a noise like that from his body before.
He resumed drying. Growing old was a murky business. The more he aged, the less he knew his body, and the less he trusted it.
He never knew what it was going to do next.
I was checking the temperature for our area via Wunderground. It said, “104.3 F.” Underneath, it said, “Feels like 78 F”.
We wondered where they were, that they were so optimistically cool.
Looky-floof (floofinition): a housepet who likes to follow people and spy on them.
In Use: “Papi is a classic looky-floof, following us around the house, close at hand to observe whatever we’re doing – washing, dressing, eating, reading, it doesn’t matter.”
Catridictory (catfinition) – someone who begs and pleads for something from you and then walk away without touching it are said to be catradictory.
In use: “Meowing, purring, and tapping his leg as she rubbed against his calves, the cat seemed to want food, but the catridictory feline sniffed the food bowl once after he set it down, and silently walked away.”
I wanted something lighter today. A favorite parody is ‘My Cubicle’, a take-off on James Blunt’s song, ‘You’re Beautiful’, 2004. The parody probably emerged within two years. I always had an office. However, my team and a lot of friends worked in cubicle warrens, and my wife was an office manager and HR manager. Between them, I received a daily infusion of irritations and frustrations with cubicle working. I once visited an enormous Air Force office space that had been converted into cubicles and was appalled. Of course, I think cubicles are better than those enormous open spaces of rows and columns of desks and filing cabinets that provided no privacy. That’s just my sense of it because I never worked in one of those, but only knew of them through visiting, television shows and movies.
Anyway, turn it up and sing along. I hope it provides you with a laugh.
Having beer with friends last night and talking, we reminisced about music and humor, so today is more about humor surrounding music. We came up with three of our favorites.
First, More Cowbell, from SNL, with Christopher Walken. The song they’re playing is Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’, a hit for BOC back in 1976. Oddly, I associate Blue Oyster Cult more with ‘Godzilla’, but whatever.
Next, of course, was the moment in ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ (1984) when Marty Dibergi (Rob Reiner) is interviewing Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest). Nigel is Spinal Tap’s lead guitarist, and he’s taking us through his instruments when he explains why his amp is special.
Last is just the classic rock issue of fans calling out, “Play ‘Freebird’.” ‘Freebird’ is by Lynyrd Skynyrd, so here we go.
I do not think I like this house
Nor would I like it were I a mouse
I do not think I like its color
I cannot stand to sit in its parlor
I cannot stand the way it’s shaped
To me, its ideas are not fully baked
The rooms are dark, and they are cold
They make me feel so very old
The walls seem like they’re paper thin
And they seem like they’re always closing in
The halls provide so much wasted space
And the kitchen is an inhospitable place
The floorboards creak and the carpets are foul
With tones that might have come from a baby’s bowels
The windows are dirty and the air is full of dust
I think I’ll move, yes, I must!
Just made lunch, and I must spread the gospel on these low fat foods.
This particular offering comes via Trader Joe’s. Low fat chicken and bean burritos, they’re ready after four minutes in the microwave. I put them on three and a half and then add some Mexican cheese for a little extra flavor and nuke it for thirty more seconds. Salsa is spread on it for additional spiciness. Afterward, I add some guacamole so I can get some good fat into me, followed by a few dollops of sour cream. The sour cream is a matter of economics; it’s getting old and I don’t want to have to throw it out. Waste not, want not.
It’s all quite delicious. I’m telling you, these low fat foods are the way to go.
Life’s a rush,
When you’re Quinn.
If he’s out,
He wants in.
If he’s in,
He wants out.
And to find a way,
He’ll rush about.
Michael Seidel, writer 