Scheckter (catfinition) – a sudden movement to escape when someone sneezes, made famous by an orange cat named Scheckter (pictured).
In use: “When Michael sneezed, Tucker schecktered off him and left the room.”
Scheckter
Floofgathering
Floofgathering (catfinition) – indulgence in petting and visiting with cats.
In use: “Brenda’s floofgathering with Crystal and Jade was interrupted by a knock on the door.”
Floofrify
Floofrify (catfintion) – a cat making small cuts or scratches in something, such as skin; small lacerations a cat causes.
In use: “The little ginger floofrified the man’s hand with her eager play, rendering his skin punctured and bleeding.”
Flooble
Flooble (catfinition) – a confused or disorganized collection of cat toys and accessories; a disorganized clowder.
In use: “A flooble was kept in the cupboard to handle cat emergencies, like brushing their coats or entertaining them with toys.
Backwards
Watching a television show, I saw that they got ready for work and school, came into the kitchen, got something to eat and drink, and then, after a few bites and gulps, realized they’re late, and ran out the door.
I thought, they didn’t brush their teeth. Then I realized, they must have brushed their teeth before coming into the kitchen.
I always ate breakfast first, and then brushed my teeth and got ready for work or school and left. I guess I’ve been doing it backwards all these years.
Floofsory
Floofsory (catfinition) – a feline who is superficially catlike; a cat who acts like a human or another animal.
In use: “A small gray tabby, she would never be accused of being floofsory. She was a cat, with emphasis, and she ruled like a queen.”
Flerding
Flerding (catfinition) – method by which a cat directs others to move.
In use: “By weaving between his legs and darting up against his legs, the big black and white long-haired tom’s flerding directed the man into his feeding area.”
Efloof
Efloof (catfinition) – an elite feline that’s permitted greater privileges and latitude than other felines.
In use: “Being the only cat in the household afforded Flash efloof status as her charming antics earned her human’s permissiveness.”
Size Matters
You ever buy a package of food, and read their claim on the package that it contains two point five servings in it? So you look at it, and think, “No way. That barely has enough in it for me.” You ever do that?
Yeah, what kind of con are they trying to pull on us?
Overheard 2
“It says it should be stored in a cold, dry place. I know of one, but I don’t think my wife would appreciate being referred to as a place.”
Oh, snap (to employ an outdated phrase).
Michael Seidel, writer 