Saturday’s Bumper Sticker
Floofgemony
Floofgemony (catfinition) – event or circumstances defined by cats having preponderant influence.
In use: “Filled with stories, images, and videos featuring cats and kittens, the Internet was slowly becoming a floofgemony.”
Furvasive
Furvasive (catfinition) – cat or dog fur spreading extensively throughout a place or on objects.
In use: “The household’s three cats and two dogs’ furvasive present was known through fur on their clothing and furniture. Getting it off seemed impossible, almost like the fur was in the air like rain. The black cat’s impact seemed more furvasive than the rest combined, particularly on the bed, where the aging house panther liked to sleep.”
Purrprietary
Purrprietary (catfinition) – a cat’s claim of ownership by sitting or laying on it and purring.
In use: “He’d bought the laptop for his planned writing career, but as soon as he set it up and turned it on, Pepper, his Siamese cat – positioned herself on the keyboard and purred, establishing her purrprietary claim.”
Influenced
When you start chasing butterflies, stalking spiders, and trying to catch house flies, you may have been around cats too much, and might need to take a break from their presence.
This is also true if you get excited when you hear food being opened, or if you try to get into a room when someone else is in there and have closed the door.
Floofstead
Floofstead (catfinition) – a cat’s territory and its adjoining location; a place a cat claims by its presence.
In use: “The door was open, so in true floofstead fashion, the tiny diluted calico walked in, completed an inspection circuit, and then settled down for a nap on a chair, establishing that this was her place.”
Alarm
“How do you set the alarm on a Fitbit?” he said.
She said, “Tell it that you’re going to replace it with an Apple watch.”
“What?”
“That’ll alarm it.”
Spider Update
We thought a black widow spider had started homesteading (websteading?) in the master bath. We go through these drills a few times per year. Per the household spider policy, I tried capturing it without clearly seeing it. The spider successfully retreated.
I haven’t seen it since that day. My guess is that it saw me naked and departed for somewhere else. After all, they’re more afraid of us than we are of them.
