Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Infloofsive (catfinition) – when people include their pet in their activities.
In use: “Wade was infloofsive with Bella, taking the Corgi everywhere, even riding around town on his motorcycle with Bella on the gas tank, although he limited that to short trips.”
Imfloofceptible (floofinition) – an animal not perceptible by a sense or by the mind
In use: “Imfloofceptible, her cat was probably in the house, but remained hidden after she came home each day until she either went into the bathroom or opened something to eat. Then, suddenly, amazingly, the cat was at her feet, meowing, “Hello. Good to see you.””
Defloofinate (floofinition) – to relax and de-stress by spending time with a pet.
In use: “After an hour of rush hour traffic, he entered the house, threw down his keys, kicked off his shoes, and defloofinated with his dog’s head on his lap.”
Dogma (floofinition) – a canine’s mom.
In use: “Though he was male, the puppy needed to be raised, so he had no choice but to be the puppy’s dogma.”
Floofgic (floofinition) – 1) A pet’s power to apparently influence the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces.
In use: “The cat knew when she had a migraine, and came to sit with her, using its floofgic to alleviate the migraine in minutes. She never told others this, but she knew from being away that the cat had floofgical powers that helped her heal.”
2) A pet’s reasoning according to their world view.
In use: “By their floofgic, whatever he was eating was meant for the cat and dog, too, just as their floofgic stated, if he was sitting, his lap was available for them to nap on.”
He said, “I’m really optimistic. I think I have a chance here.” He frowned. “Or am I in denial?”
She continued to focus on her laptop. He said, “That’s your opening, sweetie.”
She said, “You’re not in denial. You’re in California.”
His socks had a hole which could have been put there by specification, designed to be part of the sock and inserted on the production line, because they were so regular, but it was the product of his left foot’s great toe. Although the toe and nail resembled common toes (and nails), the toe continually used its nail to cut its way out.
Although it’d been happening with his socks for years, it wasn’t until he saw it on his shoes that awareness took on significance. He liked to walk and purchased many shoes for that purpose. The latest generation of Adidas, New Balance, Nike, Under Armour, and Saucony activity shoes that he wore were made of a mesh material. He’d read the material was made of recycled plastic. (He’d never looked it up on the net because he didn’t trust the information on the net, and vetting it as truth required hours of work. He also privately admitted (that is, to himself) that he hoped it was true that the shoes were made of recycled plastic.) The thing is, his big toe was cutting up through his activity shoes’ mesh. There wasn’t anything on his right foot. It was only the left.
Because he had an active imagination, he began to watch the toe more often, specifically trimming its nail back in an effort to slow down its escape efforts. Imaging his toe crying, “Freedom,” as Mel Gibson had when he portrayed William Wallace in a movie, he nicknamed his toe Bravetoe. It was partly whimsy, but also acknowledgement that the toe had a personality and seemed to have a goal.
And a toe like that, who knows what it would do if it ever escaped its prison? He suspected it would probably inspire the rest of the toes to try to do the same, a possibility that he did not want to contemplate.
Although he did.
Don’t you love it when you’re walking and encounter others, and say, “Hi” or “Hello” and they look at you like “WTF is wrong with him?” That makes me laugh, which prompts them to give me another look, which makes me laugh more, and they —
Well, you know.
