Thursday’s Bumper Sticker
Floofstorm
Floofstorm (catfinition) – a violent disturbance caused by cats, usually with yowling, growling, hissing, and running.
In use: “A floofstorm disturbed the warm, quiet night. Leaping up to find the search, the couple found their little black cat, Crystal, stalking a large tom by the garage. Yowling, growling, and spitting, he was searching for a way out, but the silent little queen refused to let him get away.”
Fansweatulous
It’s what you get when you start out feeling fantabulous but walk two miles in the heat and end up drenched in sweat.
Soap
Soap is great for washing up in the shower, but you ever notice that if you get it in the wrong place, it turns on you?
Floofsanity
Floofsanity (catfinition) – 1. Internet slang for crazy cat behavior. 2. A cat who drives you crazy with their behavior.
In use: “In the latest iteration of floofsanity, he’d left his sock drawer open before he left the house. When he’d returned, he found the cat had taken all of his socks out of the drawer and scattered them around the house like a surreal variation on an Easter egg hunt.”
Floofvice
Floofvice (catfinition) – the things humans say to cats and other animals as help.
In use: “”I have some floofvice for you,” he said to his bored tabby cat. “Don’t eat your fur. Just lick it off and spit it out of your mouth. Just because it’s in your mouth doesn’t mean that you have to swallow.””
Seen at Graduation
A young woman held up this sign, written in black marker on torn cardboard, at her college graduation ceremony this weekend.
Kithold
Kithold (catfinition) – psychological, emotional, or physical grip cats employ to control people and situations.
In use: “The cat did not move, but emitted a high-pitched growl and stared. The kithold effectively froze the people and dogs in place.”
Floofgemony
Floofgemony (catfinition) – event or circumstances defined by cats having preponderant influence.
In use: “Filled with stories, images, and videos featuring cats and kittens, the Internet was slowly becoming a floofgemony.”
Michael Seidel, writer 