Metrofloof (floofinition) – a housepet that lives in an urban area.
In use: “The metrofloofs liked to stretch out on warm patches of sunny pavement and eye the city traffic with lazy curiosity.”
Second Chance
If you go to a favorite restaurant, and it’s a bad, bad meal – slow service, burnt food, and cold food that’s supposed to be hot – do you give them a second chance, or do you give them the boot?
Asking for a friend.
Floofaresque
Floofaresque (floofinition) – of or relating to rascally or roguish house pets.
In use: “The handsome floofaresque black cat was frequently behind things falling off counters and tables, as well as eaten houseplants and shredded toilet paper, but a look into his golden eyes always dissipated intentions to discipline him.”
Floofball
Floofball (floofinition) – 1. A collective term for pets playing with balls or games with pets involving balls. 2. An affectionate term for a silly pet.
In use: “The floofballs loved a good game of floofball, taking turns chasing and wrestling with balls that people rolled across the floor.”
Five O’Clock Shadow
Feeling his Fitbit buzz, Thomas leaped up, hurrying out of the house as he checked the time and confirmed, yes, 4:59.
It was sunny, which was helpful. He ran out of the house to the sidewalk, scattering the snoozing cats on his porch into three directions. On the sidewalk, he stopped, panting fast and holding still. He checked his shadow. It was crisply defined on the white pavement. The other wasn’t there.
The Fitbit said it was still 4:59. It didn’t show seconds, which he lamented. Cars rumbled by, breezes tousled the trees’ leaves, and the cats crept out to see what he was doing.
Then, it must have been five, because the shadow was there. “Who are you?” Thomas said.
“Your shadow,” the shadow said. “One of many.”
“Many?”
“Yes. You’re the one true person. The rest, like me, are just shadow.” The voice and shadow were fading.
“Wait,” Thomas said, a ridiculous request because the shadow couldn’t wait. It was a five o’clock shadow. Why did it appear? What did it all meant?
He didn’t know. At this point, only his shadow knew for sure.
Floofeable
Floofeable (floofinition) – housepet’s ability, particularly noted about cats, to shape themselves to fit into odd locations.
In use: ” Not matter the object, the cat always perceived fitting into it as a challenge to being floofeable and worked to fit into the object.”
Infloofuence
Infloofuence (floofinition) – a housepet’s ability to have an impact on another pet or a human’s thinking, choices, or behavior.
In use: “Cats often infloofuence Michael’s theme music for the day.”
Wednesday’s Bumper Sticker
Seen on a car in Ashland, OR.
Floofscape
Floofscape (floofinition) – the landscape (or roomscape), as seen by a housepet.
In use: “To the typical housefloof, three factors determine how the floofscape is seen. One, I can sleep there, there, there, there (and that one is especially good when the sun is coming in through a window in the winter). Two, that space is mine, that space is mine, that space is theirs (or so they claim). Three, they keep telling me to get off that space, but I shall persevere.”
Floofscotch
Floofscotch (floofinition) – a game played among housepets. The simple rules dictate that when one housepet finds a sleeping space, another housepet must find and sleep in it the next day, forcing the first housepet to find another space. The game is most popular among cats. There is no scoring nor end.
In use: “Papi had found a pleasant space under a bush by the spigot outside the back door, but Boo claimed it the next day, forcing Papi to displace Quinn under the elephant leaf tree. Quinn countered by moving to Boo’s favorite space on the mat in front of the pet door.”
