Tag: humor

Refloofcitrant

Refloofcitrant (floofinition) – a housepet who is obstinately defiant of authority or restraint.

Related: recatcitrant (catfinition) – a cat who is obstinately defiant of authority or restraint; redogcitrant (dogfinition) a dog obstinately defiant of authority or restraint

In use: “Putting a leash on the dog proved a battle as he became refloofcitrant, finding new ways to resist the leash until the people finally gave up.”

Editing note: Yes, I know, I get a little silly with this stuff, don’t I?

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Floofitiate

Floofitiate (floofinition) – to make ineffective by making it useful for a housepet.

In use: “It hadn’t been planned as such but changes to the room – which had been his daughter’s bedroom until she married – such as three cat trees, one litter box, and two large dog beds, floofitiated its purpose.”

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Floofcropolis

Floofcropolis (floofinition) – a city or fortification primarily used by housepets.

In use: “After the great animal revolution sent humans into hiding, many abused housepets trekked to a southern floofcropolis where food was shared and the animals helped one another recover from the cruelty the humans had inflicted on them.”

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Mindless

Seven in the morning. It’d had already slid into another shitty day when Don’s mind shrilly and loudly said, “I can’t take this fucking shit.”

That tone cut Don’s ear drums. As Don winced and clapped his hands over his ears, his mind stomped through his brain. “I’m fuckin’ outta here.”

Looking up, Don said, “No, wait,” beginning to stand as all this happened. His mind wrenched his brain’s door open.

Used to being closed, the door shrieked, “Hey, what the fuck? I was sleepin’, man.”

Stepping out, his mind slammed the door shut behind him, rattling Don’s empty head. The door said, “That’s fuckin’ better. Now keep it down. I need some zzzs.”

Just like that, Don’s mind was gone again.

Sitting, Don sighed. Sipping his soda, he picked up his phone with his little hands and opened Twitter. It was gonna be another mindless fucking day for him.

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Inflooftrialised

Inflooftrialised (floofinition) – to introduce housepets on a large scale.

In use: “Younger families moved in. The sounds and actions of playing young children filled the streets. The neighborhood became inflooftrialised with cats, dogs, birds, rabbits, hamsters, and guinea pigs.”

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Gigafloof

Gigafloof (floofinition) – a larger than normal housepet.

In use: “At six feet tall, Walter the Great Dane wasn’t nearly as big as Freddy the Great Dane who was the world’s largest dog, but Walter’s height definitely qualified him as a gigafloof.”

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Flooftation

Flooftation (floofinition) – a quotation or reference about a housepet, such as a dog, cat, or fish.

In use: “A classic flooftation comes from Groucho Marx, who said, “Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend because inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.””

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Hairleaf

Hairleaf (catfinition) – hairball that resembles a leaf, or a leaf that could be mistaken for a hairball.

In use: “Seeing the object on the floor, he looked for signs of yakking and then pulled a tissue from the box, because one can’t be too careful with these matters. On further inspection, though, it wasn’t a hairball, but a hairleaf.”

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