Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Lane Envy – anxiety and desire to be in a different lane, often associated with driving and shopping.
In use: “Seeing the other lane going much faster, lane envy struck, prompting him to contemplate moving, but he knew the shopping gods were playing a cruel joke on him. As soon as he changed lanes, this one would go faster, so he stood where he was and bridled his longing to go to another cashier.”
Floofmation (floofinition) – a state or condition of sluggishness, inactivity, or torpor often exhibited by housepets during extended periods of low temperature.
In use: “Falling rain and cold temperatures meant the pets were staying in, finding a place to enter floofmation to endure the wretched conditions.”
Floofmania (floofinition) – excessive or unreasonable enthusiasm for housepets.
In use: “So many Internet sites dedicated to sharing information about cats, dogs, and other housepets, one would think the floofmania grips the world.”
Imfloofglio (floofinition) – an embarrassing situation for a housepet.
In use: “In a classic imfloofglio, the tabby leaped and missed its landing. Immediately going into spin control, she sat down and washed herself, sometimes glancing around to say, “What? I meant to do that.””
Stalefloof (floofinition) – a position counting as a draw, in which two or more housepets cannot move because of a conceived advantage over the other(s).
In use: “The dog and cat met each morning in a classic stalefloof, standing on either side of the kitchen entrance when Carrie entered the kitchen. The pets refused to move because they didn’t want to miss out on any dropped food.”
“Keep the change,” he said, turning away from the cashier.
“You always say that,” his friend said as they walked away as the cashier put the coins into the tip jar and said, “Thank you, sir, your order will be right up.”
“Habit.” The other shrugged. “I don’t want change.”
“But it adds up.”
He was about to reply when his friend said, “Hey.”
As he turned, his friend flipped a silver coin at him. He caught it without thinking, mostly as protection to keep it from hitting his face. Within a second, he raised the coin and looked at it. Seeing it was a nineteen seventy-eight quarter, he said, “Fu — ”
Then he was gone.
Puzzled, his friend blinked at the empty space. He’d lost the thread on what he’d been doing. He’d had a quarter and he’d been thinking…something…
Rubbing his head, he tried to remember. There’d been something there, but where that something had been, it seemed like there was now a hole.
Sighing, he told himself, it’ll come back to him. He was getting old and forgetful, like his parents. Turning, he hunted for a table, sure that he’d forgotten something important, growing less certain that it would ever come back.
Floofmulate (floofinition) – for housepets to gather or pile in a heap.
In use: “Kittens and puppies love to floofmulate, often creating a cuddle-puddle of sleeping little furry bodies.”
Floofstantive (floofinition) – having housepets; considerable housepets in large numbers.
In use: “Some homes were floofstantive with but one housepet, often due to the pet’s unwillingness to share with other pets, while others sported multiple pets – cats, dogs, birds, and reptiles – projecting a very floofstantive image.”
You know, in the U.S. of A., it’s winter. Because of that, many towns are having beer festivals. At least, this is true out here in Oregon and California.
Some places call the beer festival a collaboration, a beer walk, or, if the organizers are feeling more stylish, a brewery tour. SF’s Beer Collaboration isn’t starting until Feb. 1. They have a theme, you know, like they do at a prom, Game of Thrones. I’m sure that some high school has had a Game of Thrones themed prom. That seems like it would be something like the red wedding or the prom from Carrie.
Anyway, in honor of beer strolls everywhere, I’m streaming Tom T. Hall’s 1975 classic, “I Like Beer”. Pretty self-explanatory what the song is about.
Floofshay (floofinition) – walk in an ostentatious yet slow and casual manner, smelling objects, sometimes pausing to stretch, and stopping to listen to noises.
In use: “Opening the door, he let the cats and dogs out and watched, admiring their sashay through the garden.”
Michael Seidel, writer 