Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Pairafloof (floofinition) – two housepets.
In use: “The pairafloofs occupied the sofa when he came in to watch television, forcing him to sit down his bowl of popcorn and drink to clear a space. As soon as he sat, the pairafloofs were putting their heads into the popcorn to get their share.”
When I sit down and open my computer, I perform a ritual of blowing away the debris that’s collected on the keys, the cookie crumbs, peanut pieces, and other curious-looking but unidentified things. I figure that my blowing should clear it away but it never does the job. That surprises me because people keep telling me that I’m a blowhard.
Guess I need to blow harder.
Floofworm (floofinition) – a housepet who manages to worm themselves into every activity.
In use: “He laid down to read but before a paragraph was red, a floofworm jumped up, edging onto his chest and blocking his view of the book.”
Transfloof (floofinition) – a housepet who behaves as though they’re another species.
In use: “It was altogether a strange house, full of tranfloofs. A black cat hung around with the dogs, acting like them, while a miniature poodle preferred the cats’ company, doing everything they did, and doing a strange yipping meow. As icing on the situation, the bird barked, meowed, mooed, and talked like the humans. It was altogether chaotic, but funny.”
You ever have a bad case of verbalrhea, you know, where you just start running out of your mouth, and you can’t stop saying shit?
Man, I hate it when that happens.
Prefloofeve (floofinition) – personal holiday many people celebrate on the night before they’re getting a new housepet.
In use: “She couldn’t sleep on prefloofeve, too excited about the impending trip to the shelter tomorrow to find the right pet and bring them home.”
Flooflorn (floofinition) – bereft of housepet(s); experiencing unrequited love with a housepet.
In use: “She decided that instead of staying flooflorn, she would foster cats and dogs, and kittens and puppies, and outfitted a room for that purpose.”
I’ve apparently upset my mind. I don’t know if I hurt its feelings or it’s angry at me, but it’s definitely upset. To get even, it’s playing games with me, looping a song in my stream. I have nothing against the song except that it’s not my cuppa. Harkening from 1971, it’s just a little too pop and saccharine for me.
So I have to put it out there, foist it onto the ROW, where it’ll find somebody else’s stream and vacate mine.
Please enjoy “Go Away, Little Girl” by Donny Osmond. Please. You’ll be doing me a yuuuge favor.
Floof Lane (floofinition) – the path formed or blocked by resting housepets.
In use: “Weaving around the cats and dog blocking his path between his office and the kitchen — because the animals do not move except to look at you, oh, no, you must go around them or step over them — he couldn’t resist singing, “Life in the floof lane, guaranteed to trip you up, life in the floof lane, uh huh.”
Michael Seidel, writer 