Dilfloofpidated (floofinition) – furniture, rugs, carpets, and other household items rendered into partial ruin through a pet’s or pets’ activities.
In use: “Often, an outward sign that a pet resides within a house are dilfloofpidated screens.”
Sunfur
Sunfur (floofinition) – Animal fur that’s heated by sunshine, revered for its soft heat and healing powers.
In use: “Papi bounced in with his habitual enthusiastic gallop, pausing against a calf to say hello and let his sunfur be stroked before morphing into an orange blur speeding away.”
Keyfloof
Keyfloof (floofinition) – 1. Pet(s) or animals who insist on sleeping on computer keyboards or typewriters. 2. Pet who likes to steal and hide keys. 3. Pet who is given paramount consideration when any plans are being made.
In use: “It started with cat as a kitten. He was a keyfloof at three weeks old. It was so cute, that they permitted it to continue. Next, the parrot made it a habit to land and strut on the keyboard. Then the dog started trying to be a keyfloof – all seventy-two pounds of him.”
Thrufloof
Thrufloof (floofinition) – Pet(s) who insist on being in the middle of whatever is going on, forcing everyone to go around them or work around them.
In use: “Whether by nature or association, all three pets were thrufloofs, with the beagle eagerly inspecting every piece of mail, bag, box, and shoe that came in, with the cats right alongside him, forcing everyone to walk carefully, lest a paw or tail get stepped on.”
Eating Guide
Time for me to eat lunch. It’s a tougher choice with recent health issues (nothing major), being on meds (nothing major), and de-conflicting healthy choices, hunger, social justice, environmental issues, price, and convenience. To help make decisions, I created this handy matrix to help me decide. It’s so useful, I thought I’d share it, in case others are in a similar situation. You’re welcome!
(Okay, it is a lil’ bit o’ Friday snark. Forgive me.)
Low Priority
Snark time.
We receive our credit card statement by old-fashioned (in this era – it was modern in another time, I swear) snail mail. A personal check is written to cover our charges, and then it’s mailed back, with a stamp. Each month, the credit card company then sends me an email, verifying that the payment has been received and the bill is paid. They also tell me, “Next time, quickly and easily pay your bill using any checking, money market, or savings account – at home or on the go – ”
Yes, because one BIG priority in my life is to PAY MY CREDIT CARD BILL MORE QUICKLY. Because that benefits me…how?
I think we know who benefits from paying my bill by an e-process or app more quickly, and it ain’t me and my wife.
Floofmore
Floofmore (floofinition) – A forgotten muse, referred to as the tenth muse in ancient writings, associated with literature, poetry, dance, and music inspired or about animals. Floofmore was often later reduced to Floof, from which the modern popular term for animals is derived.
In use: “Scrolls associated with Virgil were uncovered. Some say that the scrolls were part of Book Three of the Aenid. In the scrolls, Floofmore’s influence on the wandering Aeneas was described, as was the jealousy by other muses caused by the rising admiration of animals, and the subsequent sacrifice Floofmore made to keep animals wild and free.”
Flooftina
Flooftina (floofinition) – 1. A cafe or that caters to animals. 2. Slang for a home or household that caters to animals, particularly housepets. 3. The wear, tear, scratches, and rubbings that accumulate when pets live in a home.
In use: “A gentle flooftina — dark rubbings by a door jamb, clawed fabric on the sofa’s corner, scratch marks from a running animal on a hardwood floor — was evidence of that animals lived there. Indeed, three were asleep on furniture in the sunshine, partially raising their heads with drowsy to see who was looking at them.”
Flooftone
Flooftone (floofinition) – The sound device, practice, or methodology employed by a housepet to get others’ attention or put forward demands.
In use: “Danny the Yorkie believed in going to bed at ten, and if he was ready, everyone else needed to go, a decision announced by his flooftone: a single sharp bark once a minute at the bedroom door until everyone went to bed.”
Michael Seidel, writer 