Dean Also Said
Infloofsitive
Infloofsitive (floofinition) – Curious pet or animal who can’t resist inspecting and examining objects and sounds.
In use: “All the pets were infloofsitive, but the little miniature Border Collie, Sassy, and the elegant Russian Blue feline, Jazmine, were the two who always got up, padded into the other room to see what was going on, and then returned, notifying the rest that the end is not nigh after all.”
The Gods of Beer
The gods of beer
won’t hesitate
to take a swig,
and make their play.
They don’t quibble
over a quaff,
nor hesitate to laugh
over another’s gaffe.
They’re there to spread humor
and good cheer,
because everyone knows,
life is better with a beer.
Macrofloof
Macrofloof (floofinition) – A very large fish, bird, or animal, especially housepets.
In use: “Pancho, the Maine Coon Cat, was a natural macrofloof. Tall and long, Pancho weighed almost thirty pounds, but compared to his buddy, Cisco the Newfie, Pancho was almost a tiny beast. Almost. Cisco was a mega macrofloof.”
Floof-shaming
Floof-shaming (floofinition) – 1. Mocking an animal for their weight, body, infirmities, disabilities, shape, or color. 2. Poking fun of a person for their love and passion for animals.
In use: “Loving and owning animals sometimes leads to floof-shaming, when the owner’s relationship with their animals is called into question as signs of a mental or emotional problem.”
Floofhem
Floofhem (floofinition) – A housepet’s willful damage.
In use: “Becca grew aware that her cats and dogs seemed to share a secret agenda, inflicting floofhem on new clothes and shoes, resorting to damaging curtains or sofa, of new clothes weren’t available. Fortunately, she cared more about her pets than her things.”
h/t to Barbara Froman.
Net Effect
I read it on the net
you know you better bet
that it’s the greatest most outrageous and incredible thing
ever
I saw it on the net
you know I won’t regret
believing everything that I’m seeing
and hearing
It was spread across the net
so you better be set
to know this is the truth and won’t go away
it’s out there for-
ever
So just put it on the net
with a link for them to select
and you know you’ll have them reading writing raging and de-
bating
Floofling
Floofling (floofinition) – 1. Animals who appear to be from Earth but are actually visitors from another planet. 2. Smaller versions of animals. 3. Romance between two pets.
In use: “The way his cat stared at everything, as though astonishment constantly coursed through him, made Drake wonder if Pluto was a floofling.”
“Despite never meeting, the ginger cat and the Himalayan began a floofling, waiting for one another to appear in the window each morning and then spending the day non-verbally communicating.”
Floofmarm
Floofmarm (floofinition) – 1. A housepet who rigorously enforces adherence to a set order of activities and behavior. 2. A person who insists on specific and often ritualistic behavior by their animals.
In use: “The husky acted as a floofmarm, ensuring that everyone ate at their own bowl — something the cats didn’t readily appreciate — that all got out of bed when the women did, and that all went to bed at the correct time.”
