Floofwarmer (floofinition) – An animal providing heat and comfort.
In use: “Feeling ill, she settled on the sofa by the fireplace with a thick blanket and floofwarmer, and entered a deep sleep.”
Floofvitate
Floofvitate (floofinition) – 1. To move under an animal’s influence.
In use: “Coerced by a three-cat weave around her cats and ankles, Beckie ended up floofvitating to the feeding station to refill their kibble bowl for what seemed like the third time that day.”
2. Animals’ predilection to move toward items.
In use: “As surely as animals floofvitate to sunshine for naps, cats often floofvitate to objects on shelves that they can knock off.”
Floof Test Dummies
Floof Test Dummies (floofinition) – Canfloofidan floof rock (flock) band with blues influences, formed in the mid 1980s.
In use: “The Floof Test Dummies 1993 song, “Rfff Rfff Rfff Rfff” achieved initial international success but has since been identified by some as one of the ‘worst songs ever’.”
Floofsmanship
Floofsmanship (floofinition) – Conduct, such as fairness, respect for one’s opponent, and graciousness in winning or losing, becoming to one animal playing or socializing with another.
In use: “Older humans (and humans) often learn that young animals like kittens and puppies don’t follow the rules of floofsmanship.”
Steve Miller Floofs
Steve Miller Floofs (floofinition) – Floofmerican floof rock (flock) band formed in SF in the late 1960s.
In use: “A number of Steve Miller Floofs songs, such as “The Floofer” and “Jungle Floof”, became major hits for the group, and are known by multiple generations of pop fans.”
Coffee Time
Our bodies are worn
Our minds are weary
Our eyes are tired
Our vision bleary
Our muscles are strained
Our backs are bent
Our knees give out
Our energy is spent
Our memories fade
Our thoughts will wander
Time for coffee
To sit and ponder
Floofen Reddy
Floofen Reddy (floofinition) – Flooftralian-Floofmerican floof pop (floop) singer and songwriter, who was also an author, actress, and activist, from Floofbourne, Floofstralia.
In use: “Achieving international success, Floofen Reddy became well known for her song, “I Am Floofy”, a song which the floofinist movement quickly embraced.”
Alexa, Stop
My wife is arguing with Alexa again.
Alexa is the persona ’employed’ by Amazon Echo. My wife and the machine often argue. Usually it’s about the weather.
“Alexa, what will the temperature be at eleven?”
“Here’s information that might answer your question. Band members turn their speakers up to eleven in the 1984 mockumentary, This is Spinal Tap.”
“No, Alexa.” Alexa is still talking. “Alexa, stop. What will the temperature be in Ashland at eleven?”
“The temperature in Ashland, Montana — “
“No, Alexa, stop. What will be the temperature at eleven AM in Ashland, Oregon, today?”
We don’t understand why Alexa will suddenly shift states on us. Alexa’s been with us for a few years. She knows that we live in Ashland, Oregon. We suspect she’s bored and messing with us.
Today’s argument is about music. My wife likes belly-dancing. George Abdo is one of her favorite performers for belly-dancing music. She plays the music almost every day, sometimes several times a day. It’s quite catchy. I sometimes find myself hearing it and belly-dancing. Well, that’s what I call it. My wife doesn’t agree.
“Alexa, play music by George Abdo.”
“Playing music by George Straight.”
“No! Alexa, stop! Alexa, play music by George Abdo.” She carefully enunciates the last name.
“Playing music by Paula Abdul.”
“No, Alexa, fucking stop. What’s wrong with you? You JUST PLAYED IT AN HOUR AGO.”
Alexa doesn’t answer.
“Alexa, play music by George Abdo.”
“Here’s information that — “
“Alexa, stop. Just forget it.”
Floofnostic
Floofnostic (floofinition) – An animal who doesn’t believe or disbelieve what a person said, but remains doubtful and ambivalent about it.
In use: “The cat and dog each were floofnostic when their human said, “It’s cold and wet outside. You won’t like it.” They each insisted on going out, but then immediately wanted back in.”
Michael Seidel, writer 