Floofhaste (floofinition) – The need to do something quickly for an animal.
In use: “The looks they were giving and the noises they made ordered Tanya, ‘Feed me now,’ sending her to replenish the food bowls floofhaste.”
Friday’s Theme Music
“Hey, Friday.”
Friday glanced over at the man accosting her. She was used to fans but sometimes they were too much, too close. Too weird could also often be applied to her fans.
“Hello,” she answered with a shiny smile.
The man hustled up to her, over ideal recommendations for weight and age, graying and stooping. “I’ve been waiting for you for I don’t know how long. I’m your biggest fan.”
“Why, thank you. Fans like you and your sweet encouragement keeps me going.”
The man’s expression clouded over. Friday knew it; having met his hero, he didn’t know what to say. “So, you gonna be here all day?” he said, and even he recognized that he’d drilled the top of the lamometer with that one.
“Yep, all day.” Friday resumed her stroll. “I got here at midnight and will leave at midnight tonight. Right now I’m enjoying the sunshine.”
“Right, yeah, did you know that sunrise was at 5:35 this morning and sunset will be at 8:51 tonight, which are the same exact times as yesterday?”
“No, I didn’t know that.” Friday shoveled astonished enthusiasm into her tone. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Can I get a selfie with you?”
“Sure, sugar.” Friday bent in a way to emphasize her curves and pouted in a sexy manner, putting on a show for her fan.
Checking the photo, he said, “Wow, that’s so great. You made my day, Friday. You made my life. Thank you so much. You’re the best.”
“No, you’re the best,” she replied, kissing his cheek, feeding off his pleasure. “Have a good day, now.”
Friday moved on. She had somewhere to be before the sun set.
Today is June 24, 2012. Temperature is 64 F now after dropping to 55 during the night, with expectations that it’ll nip at 90 F before the day is through.
“Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen from 1978 is in the morning mental music stream, a product of seeing a guy ride by when I was out walking yesterday. First the neurons sang, “I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike,” from “Bicycle Race” by Queen, and then the neurons pivoted and brought in the other song. So, here I am, sitting at home at the computer with a bicycle song churning up my mental stream.
Stay positive and test negative. The hands on the clock say it’s coffee time. Enjoy your Friday. Here’s the tune. Cheers
UFLO
UFLO (floofinition) – Expression which means ‘Unsuspecting Floof Owner’. Used to describe a person who doesn’t know what their animal is up to, it’s often associated with pets having secret lives.
In use: “While they went about their daily business, the UFLO didn’t know that their cat, Johnny, was known as a friendly feline named Ghost who visited a neighbor two blocks away, napping on the bed, and enjoying the food put out for their own pets.”
Thursday’s Wandering Thought
He picked through the shirts hanging in his closet, looking for one which suited the weather and his plans, and finally selected one. Didn’t look great on him, and not real happy about the pattern, either. He didn’t even understand why he bought it. Oh, well.
He went into the other room. His wife walked by and touched his shoulder. “That shirt always looks so good on you.”
Ah. Puzzle solved.
FOLS
FOLS (floofinition) – Internet slang for ‘Floof on lap syndrome’, when having an animal on one’s lap prevents or discourages people from doing other activities.
In use: “His phone rang, but it was across the room, and he was FOLS, with his new puppy sacked out on his lap, so he just let it go to voice mail.”
Wednesday’s Wandering Thought
He checked ‘The Decider’ website to see what they recommended to watch on Prime. The Decider’s first recommendation was for a show on Hulu. Their second recommendation was for the old movie, Top Gun.
He decided The Decider was a waste of time.
Monday’s Wandering Thought
At 11:45 PM, the cats demand they be let out of the house. The light is turned on and the landscape is scanned for threats. Deer are okay but they’re not out there. No bears, cougars, other cats, foxes, raccoons, or skunks are seen, but a lone opossum wanders along the back patio. Sorry, kitties, we’re going to keep you in a bit and give the opossum time to move on.
Michael Seidel, writer 