Tag: humor

Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

The organized chaos of commercial air travel reminded him of several things. Number one, always read the fine print. When he bought his ticket, he also bought a seat for a few extra dollars, reasoning, he’d never seen anyone standing up for an entire flight. What he didn’t see anywhere in the seat description was that the seat he selected didn’t recline. He found that out the day before, when he reviewed his flight details.

Naturally, he entertained getting a seat for the five plus hour flight. Several were available for an extra $130. Being one that often spites himself to prove a point, he refused to buy one.

He was sure, though, someday the airlines would figure out a way to start charging for air.

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Floofclamation

Floofclamation (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s takeover of a place, activity, item, or food.

In use: “Loudly growling, the tiny kitten made the floofclamation that the chicken leg was hers.”

2. Orders given to an animal.

In use: “Helplessly and, she felt, hopelessly, Kerin told her dog not to jump over their six-foot privacy fence, but as soon he was released, he leaped over the fence and then back, as if telling her what she could do with her floofclamation.”

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Floofrise

Floofrise (floofinition) – Moment when animals get up to do things and tries to get others up.

In use: “Many people who live with cats find that floofrise will usually take place at three or four in the morning, while they’re trying to pursue deep sleep. Unfortunately for them, stopping floofrise is as difficult as stopping sunrise.”

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Inflooftution

Inflooftution (floofinition) – Organization established to serve and assist animals.

In use: “Although he seemed destitute, the old man down the street was always feeding and rescuing animals and birds. Astonishing everyone, he used 1.5 million dollars to create an inflooftution to continue his work.”

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Floofhub

Floofhub (floofinition) – A place where animals congregate or socialize.

In use: “In many houses, the floofhub gravitates toward the home’s sunniest spots, depending on the weather, although wherever food is found often quickly becomes a floofhub.”

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Homofloofeous

Homofloofeous (floofinition) – Household, location, or organization with only one species of animal.

In use: “While many infloofgrated households of cats, birds, dogs, reptiles, fish, and so on exist in the U.S., a number of households remain homofloofeous, often dedicated to one species, particularly cats or dogs.”

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Sunday’s Wandering Thought

He and his sister were talking about words. She said, “You know where spitting image comes from?”

No.

“It was originally spirit in image. It was a religious reference. Somehow it got twisted into spitting image. I think it’s probably from someone’s accent confusing people, so they thought someone was saying spitting image instead of spirit image.

He later searched for origins, and spirit in image wasn’t mentioned. Shame, though, it sounded like a good story.

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