Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofscaping (floofinition) – Arranging a space to be more animal friendly.
In use: “Floofios such as catios and pupios are becoming more prevalent floofscaping features as people take action to give their fur friends safe access to fresh air and sunshine.”
“You overthink things,” the muses said.
“Guilty.”
“Don’t. Trust us. Write and enjoy yourself.”
The writer sniffed, a response delivered with a tincture of hurt indignation. “Easy for you to say.”
A muse sighed. “Easier for you to do, if you’ll let yourself.”
Sure, the writer thought. Sure.
He took his socks off in the office, balled them up and set them on the desk.
His partner had done the laundry earlier. A few hours later, she walked in and tossed a pair of socks on the bed. Seeing them, he put them away in his sock drawer. It was only when he went to put on his socks and shoes to walk up and check the mail did he realize what had happened.
He kept quiet as he typed, making as little noise as possible. Muses had turned out in a large number and were offering terrific guidance. He didn’t want to scare them off.
High Floof (floofinition) – 1. In the Floofodoxy Church, the High Floof is the floofiest position, responsible for ruling over other floofs regarding floof matters.
In use: “As the High Floof, Sammy interpreted what the humans were saying and told the other pets how to respond. None of the household pets ever did anything without Sammy’s sayso.”
2. An animal that habitually prefers a higher physical location.
In use: “While Misty was an underfloof, always at foot level, Mo was a high floof, jumping up onto the cat tree, irritating the felines with his canine presence.”
After knowing one another for fifty-one years, including forty-five years of marriage, they remain a couple separated by a common language, even though they’re both American.
Floofdies (floofinition) – 1. Underwear which an animal likes to sleep on.
In use: “Michael’s boxers became Tucker’s floofdies as soon as Michael removed them, delaying their final journey to the clothes hamper.”
2. Plural of floofdy, floof culture slang for ‘floof buddy’.
In use: “Returning home was made a richer and more satisfying experience because of the sweet greetings their floofdies gave them.
He came in from wading in the ocean in the Pacific northwest and told his wife, “The water wasn’t cold.”
She looked surprised. “It wasn’t?”
“No.” He smiled. “It was FUCKING FREEZING.”
Michael Seidel, writer 