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Floofsive (floofinition) – a state or expression where a housepet appears engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought.
In use: “He said, as he does every morning, “Who’s hungry? Who wants something to eat?” In response, the cats and dogs sat down and regarded him with floofsive gazes, as if they didn’t know who he was.”
Infloofuencer (floofinition) – a housepet that influences other housepets by their actions, sounds, or behavior
In use: “At seventeen, he was the household’s first and oldest pet. Joining them when he was just three months old, he was an infloofuencer on the other pets. Wherever he went, whatever he did, the others would do the same, just to see where he was or what he was doing.”
Macfloofnation (floofinition) – a housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design to accomplish something it knows it’s not allowed to do; a group of animal lovers who also identify as Apple Mac users; (slang) housepets who enjoy eating food from McDonald’s restaurants.
In use: “As part of his macfloofations to get food off the plate, he put on his cutest face, holding it in place as he edged his paw forward.”
Parfloofsi (floofinition) – a strategy game played by housepets. Based on superior senses and knowledge that animals have that humans don’t begin to approach, there’s no sense trying to define the game’s rules and objectives to people.
In use: “As soon as Michael rose from bed, Papi, Tucker, and Boo began a game of parfloofsi, staying in one place and watching one another as he called them, expecting to feed them. None came for food; the parfloofsi was too gripping for the cats to eat.”
Dutifloof (floofinition) – conscientiously or obediently fulfilling one’s duty to their pets; a housepet who remains loyal and conscientious toward others.
In use: “She had a meager income, but she was dutifloof, ensuring that her miniature collies had the best foods and medical treatment possible. They were her best friends and a comforting presence. Making them happy and keeping them safe made her happy.”
Overfloof (floofinition) – in households with more than one pet, the pet that usually keeps order (if there is any order).
In use: “In a household of two Beagles, one German Shepherd, and one Jack Russell along with four cats (and a hamster), a bird was the overfloof. Able to mimic the doorbell, garbage truck, and vacuum cleaner along with the sound of crinkling plastic and their masters’ voices, the bird kept the animals in a wary but peaceful vigil.”
Floofvana (floofinition) – in floofism, a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, because one is with their housepets, and the world feels as perfect as it can be, at least for a moment.
In use: “Tired from working and cleaning the house, and running around on errands, she sat down on the couch. The Corgi and cat soon joined her, making room for themselves and each other on her lap. With one purring and both looking drowsy, she soon entered floofvana. Everyone should have pets, she thought. It would make the world a better place if they did.”
Floofstantive (floofinition) – having housepets; considerable housepets in large numbers.
In use: “Some homes were floofstantive with but one housepet, often due to the pet’s unwillingness to share with other pets, while others sported multiple pets – cats, dogs, birds, and reptiles – projecting a very floofstantive image.”
Floofception (floofinition) – the act of deceiving a housepet; the act of causing a housepet to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid.
In use: “Floofception is offered required when dealing with houspets. For example, to draw his cats out of hiding, David often shook the kibble box, leading the cats to believe they were about to be fed.”
Archfloof (floofinition) – a perfect example of a housepet, such as a cat, dog, or bird.
In use: “She, petite, clean, quiet, and loving — except when birds or squirrels rushed past in a noisy flurry outside, or she got into the catnip and acted a little crazy — was the archfloof of domesticated felines, happily living from can to can and treat to treat, snuggling up to her lady at night, comforting the woman with a brush of whiskers, a kiss of fur, and a whisper of purrs.”
Michael Seidel, writer 