Tag: housepets

Adflooficate

Adflooficate (floofinition) – to make an official decision about who is right in a dispute between two or more housepets.

In use: “The household’s sole feline, a small, older female, was involved in almost every dispute that he had to adflooficate. Disputes usually involved food, toys, or a warm place to sleep. No matter what he decided, it seemed like the cat always won. Whether the dispute was between the human and the cat over a chair or between the dogs and the cat over the bed, she always seemed to win.”

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Flooflandia

Flooflandia (floofinition) – ancient continent where animals ruled and lived in harmony. Floofologists disagree as to whether Flooflandia is mythological or was real. Recent theories hold that Flooflandia exists but requires quantum powers and knowledge that only animals possess to reach it.

In use: “They say that in Flooflandia, no animal is an orphan, for another animal will find it and take care of it as its mother.”

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Pairafloofs

Pairafloof (floofinition) – two housepets.

In use: “The pairafloofs occupied the sofa when he came in to watch television, forcing him to sit down his bowl of popcorn and drink to clear a space. As soon as he sat, the pairafloofs were putting their heads into the popcorn to get their share.”

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Prefloofeve

Prefloofeve (floofinition) – personal holiday many people celebrate on the night before they’re getting a new housepet.

In use: “She couldn’t sleep on prefloofeve, too excited about the impending trip to the shelter tomorrow to find the right pet and bring them home.”

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Flooflorn

Flooflorn (floofinition) – bereft of housepet(s); experiencing unrequited love with a housepet.

In use: “She decided that instead of staying flooflorn, she would foster cats and dogs, and kittens and puppies, and outfitted a room for that purpose.”

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Floofonics

Floofonics (floofinition) – the study of housepet language and syntax.

In use: “His cats started talking to him more as they lived with him, and he developed floofonics, a science of listening to the nuances of their meows. It especially satisfied him to hear the cats talking to him about being fed. They began with sharp, loud meows that continued until he started to deliver their bowls to them. Their voices changed then, the volume dropping as the strident meows changed to mewmuring.”

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Mewmuring

Mewmuring (catfinition) – a soft, satisfied meow t often incorporates a trill or a purr, generally associated with a happy, contented cat and frequently heard just before a cat begins eating.

In use: “Sweet mewmuring replaced the kittens’ strident meowing demands, and then the sounds of eating wet food replaced the mewmuring.”

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Compufloof

Compufloof (floofinition) – housepet who is attracted to computers and other technological devices.

In use: “No laptop, iPhone, or smart phone could be set down and left unattended. As soon as they were, one of the resident compufloofs was on it. Even television, entertainment center, and DVR remotes were bait for their Golden Retriever. That compufloof had once collected them all, hiding them in a closet corner.”

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Counterproflooftive

Counterproflooftive (floofinition) – actions people take to prevent or inhibit housepet’s activities or behavior.

In use: “Doors were closed to the cats and dogs, counterproflooftive measures to keep the toilet paper intact, keep animals from drinking toilet water, and keep the house clean. It was marginally effective.”

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Floofbelly Elegy

Floofbelly Elegy (floofinition) – collection of memoirs by housepets, the people they lived with, and their values.

In use: “In one chapter of Floofbelly Elegy, a calico named Agent 86 told of how she liked to let people pet her, drop onto the ground and roll on her back, exposing her belly, and then attack people when they tried rubbing her belly.”

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