Tag: housepets

Flooflighting

Flooflighting (floofinition) – similar to gaslighting, flooflighting takes place when a housepet begins manipulating activities to sow seeds of doubt about what’s going on to either inflict terror, gain power, or get revenge.

In use: “She was beginning to think her cat was flooflighting her. Every time she couldn’t find something, she’d find the big black and white cat sleeping on it under her favorite chair. It couldn’t be a coincidence that things were always dropped there. He had to be picking them, moving them there, and then hiding them from her.”

0

Thoroughfloof

Thoroughfloof (floofinition) – a fastidious, meticulous, or tidy housepet.

In use: “A thoroughfloof in his litter box habits, the big tabby tom always dug a hole, did his business in the hole, and then covered the hole with his business with brisk, quick strokes.”

“The beagle was a throughfloof when it came to food, snatching up and lapping up anything dropped on the floor before two seconds passed, and licking his bowl clean at every feeding.”

 

0

Floof-matter

Floof-matter (floofinition) – a hypothetical form of matter invisible to people that housepets often notice, postulated to account for animals’ odd behavior.

In use: “Without warning, the cat leaped up from its dead sleep, stood on her lap, and stared across the room without movement. She stayed calm, realizing that Alberta was probably seeing floof-matter.”

0

Floofdude

Floofdude (floofinition) – animal lover.

In use: “The floofdude kept food and treats in his bag so that he could feed any cats and dogs that he met, and carried nuts and seeds for crows and squirrels. They all started looking for him. It was like Mr. Doolittle was walking down the street on some days.”

0

Doofloof

Doofloof (floofinition) – a housepet who often acts silly.

In use: “The feathered doofloof liked collecting things from around the house like rubber bands, chains, keys, and bracelets, often dancing in triumph while singing when he added a new treasure to his collection.”

0

Gobblefloof

Gobblefloof (floofinition) – housepet who reminds people of a turkey either by sound, behavior, or appearance; a housepet who eats very fast.

In use: “As soon as the kibble poured into the bowl, the puppy raced in, tail flapping in mad, fast arcs. Sliding to a stop by the bowl, knocking food out of it onto the floor, the little lab became a gobblefloof, chowing down as though it had never been fed before.”

0

Floofallama

Floofallama (floofinition) – a housepet who resembles a llama; a llama who is a housepet.

In use: “With its big, dewy eyes, long lashes, and curly, soft light-brown fur, the dog was a floofallama, and could have easily been at home on a llama ranch.”

0

Flooflish

Flooflish (floofinition) – English as spoken to housepets.

In use: “Dropping to his knees, the big man shifted into flooflish. “Who’s daddy’s pwetty little boy?” he asked his big dog in a high voice. Wagging his tail, the dog leaped forward and started licking his face. “That’s right, you are,” the man said as the dog licked him. “You are. That’s right, you are. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Good boy, good dog, good lad.”

0

Floofdux

Floofdux (floofinition) – when a housepet does something, and then does it again; when a human does something for a housepet more than one time.

In use: “Trained to respond to treats, she demonstrated her cat and dog’s synchronized standing-on-their-hind-paws routine, treating us to a floofdux when others arrived.”

4

Archfloofocese

Archfloofocese (floofinition) – the district for which an archfloofshop is responsible.

In use: “The pets established areas, an archfloofocese, if you will, where they liked to hang. In each archfloofocese, one pet ruled and kept order – a cat in the master bedroom, a dog on the patio, and the noisy bird in the living room.”

0

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑