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Prefloofeve (floofinition) – personal holiday many people celebrate on the night before they’re getting a new housepet.
In use: “She couldn’t sleep on prefloofeve, too excited about the impending trip to the shelter tomorrow to find the right pet and bring them home.”
Flooflorn (floofinition) – bereft of housepet(s); experiencing unrequited love with a housepet.
In use: “She decided that instead of staying flooflorn, she would foster cats and dogs, and kittens and puppies, and outfitted a room for that purpose.”
Floofonics (floofinition) – the study of housepet language and syntax.
In use: “His cats started talking to him more as they lived with him, and he developed floofonics, a science of listening to the nuances of their meows. It especially satisfied him to hear the cats talking to him about being fed. They began with sharp, loud meows that continued until he started to deliver their bowls to them. Their voices changed then, the volume dropping as the strident meows changed to mewmuring.”
Mewmuring (catfinition) – a soft, satisfied meow t often incorporates a trill or a purr, generally associated with a happy, contented cat and frequently heard just before a cat begins eating.
In use: “Sweet mewmuring replaced the kittens’ strident meowing demands, and then the sounds of eating wet food replaced the mewmuring.”
Compufloof (floofinition) – housepet who is attracted to computers and other technological devices.
In use: “No laptop, iPhone, or smart phone could be set down and left unattended. As soon as they were, one of the resident compufloofs was on it. Even television, entertainment center, and DVR remotes were bait for their Golden Retriever. That compufloof had once collected them all, hiding them in a closet corner.”
Counterproflooftive (floofinition) – actions people take to prevent or inhibit housepet’s activities or behavior.
In use: “Doors were closed to the cats and dogs, counterproflooftive measures to keep the toilet paper intact, keep animals from drinking toilet water, and keep the house clean. It was marginally effective.”
Floofbelly Elegy (floofinition) – collection of memoirs by housepets, the people they lived with, and their values.
In use: “In one chapter of Floofbelly Elegy, a calico named Agent 86 told of how she liked to let people pet her, drop onto the ground and roll on her back, exposing her belly, and then attack people when they tried rubbing her belly.”
Floofjump (floofinition) – a non-competitive event where a housepet attempts to block another housepet or human, forcing the human or animal to jump over the blocking housepet.
In use: “Running late, he hurried, planning to feed the pets after he’d done a few preliminary tasks, but they, being hungry, rushed to block him whenever he turned, forcing him to floofjump more than once, transforming the house into a floofcourse.”
Floofback (floofinition) – feedback or information about reactions to a product, a performance, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement or change.
In use: “His cat enjoyed tummy rubs but gave fast floofback with sharp claws and a quick nip when the tummy-rub session should be ended.”
Floofverture (floofinition) – an approach by an animal, typically a housepet, for assistance.
In use: “Many unhomed canine mothers made floofvertures to people they could trust to help them with their puppies.”
Michael Seidel, writer 