Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofdango (floofinition) – a foolish or useless act done by a housepet.
In use: “Among the dog’s many floofdangos was his willingness to charge the screen patio door and crash through it. They never knew the reasons behind the behavior, which is what made it a floofdango.”
Floofberg (floofinition) – housepet who appears smaller than they are.
In use: “Whenever the puppy slept, he curled himself into a tight ball, and appeared to be about three feet across. That was resolved as the tip of the floofberg, for when he stood and unstretched his long limbs, he was a giant with enormous paws. Everyone agreed, he was going to be huge.”
Flooftonism (floofinition) – the philosophy of housepets, especially insofar as it addresses an absolute and eternal reality that revolves around being well-fed, napping, and having fun.
In use: “Although flooftonism doesn’t call for exclusion of others, Flash the cat* believes that other animals’ presence affects her pursuit of Floofvana.”
*With apologies to nan and Flash the cat.
Superfloofsition (floofinition) – in housepet quantum principles, the theory, practice, and observations that a housepet seems to be in two places at once.
In use: “She left Penny downstairs asleep in a sunlit living-room corner, but when she turned from opening her drawer to select her clothes, the little calico was sitting on the bed, watching her with luminous green eyes as its tail-tip tapped out a slow, amused beat.”
Floofturesque (floofinition) – visually attractive housepets.
In use: “As if aware that she was floofturesque, the cat let her tail drape over the wall and struck a demure but charming pose.”
The sun on my fur
Kibble and water for me
Life is sweet, sweet, sweet
Infloofsition (floofinition) – a severe questioning conducted by one or more housepets.
In use: “The floofizens gathered to conduct an infloofsition as soon as the bag was opened. When she set it down, the cats jumped up on chairs and tried reaching into it with their paws, while the big dog tried shoving his snout into the bag (earning a swat from a cat), and the little dog sniffed the air while jumping up and down, trying to see the bag.”
The Internet of Floof (IoF) (floofinition) – connecting devices to share information about animals, often focusing on housepets and their antics, or the love relationships between odd animal couples, usually through social-media postings.
In use: “On the Internet of Floof, it’s not surprising to discover dozens of posts a day about a neighborhood saving a cat in a tree, an old dog living on the street being saved and finding the safety and comfort of a home for the first time, or a pig raising orphaned kittens. Anything is possible on the IoF.”
Cenofloofic (floofinition) – household era that began when the newest housepets joined, continuing to the present. Unlike geological eras, epochs, and stages, the definition of floofic eras are often fluid.”
In use: “Lady passed, and so ended the mesofloofic era of their life in Ashland. Papi joined Tucker and Boo as the house cats, and so began the cenofloofic era with three new pets.”
Floofprocity (floofinition) – expectation among housepets that if one pet is given something, the others get some, too.
In use: “”Hello, sweetie,” he said to his puppy, bending down giving the happy, wriggling animal several scratches and kisses. As he looked up, the other dog and both cats headed his way, ready for some floofprocity.”
Michael Seidel, writer 