Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Superfloofsition (floofinition) – in housepet quantum principles, the theory, practice, and observations that a housepet seems to be in two places at once.
In use: “She left Penny downstairs asleep in a sunlit living-room corner, but when she turned from opening her drawer to select her clothes, the little calico was sitting on the bed, watching her with luminous green eyes as its tail-tip tapped out a slow, amused beat.”
Floofturesque (floofinition) – visually attractive housepets.
In use: “As if aware that she was floofturesque, the cat let her tail drape over the wall and struck a demure but charming pose.”
The sun on my fur
Kibble and water for me
Life is sweet, sweet, sweet
Infloofsition (floofinition) – a severe questioning conducted by one or more housepets.
In use: “The floofizens gathered to conduct an infloofsition as soon as the bag was opened. When she set it down, the cats jumped up on chairs and tried reaching into it with their paws, while the big dog tried shoving his snout into the bag (earning a swat from a cat), and the little dog sniffed the air while jumping up and down, trying to see the bag.”
The Internet of Floof (IoF) (floofinition) – connecting devices to share information about animals, often focusing on housepets and their antics, or the love relationships between odd animal couples, usually through social-media postings.
In use: “On the Internet of Floof, it’s not surprising to discover dozens of posts a day about a neighborhood saving a cat in a tree, an old dog living on the street being saved and finding the safety and comfort of a home for the first time, or a pig raising orphaned kittens. Anything is possible on the IoF.”
Cenofloofic (floofinition) – household era that began when the newest housepets joined, continuing to the present. Unlike geological eras, epochs, and stages, the definition of floofic eras are often fluid.”
In use: “Lady passed, and so ended the mesofloofic era of their life in Ashland. Papi joined Tucker and Boo as the house cats, and so began the cenofloofic era with three new pets.”
Floofprocity (floofinition) – expectation among housepets that if one pet is given something, the others get some, too.
In use: “”Hello, sweetie,” he said to his puppy, bending down giving the happy, wriggling animal several scratches and kisses. As he looked up, the other dog and both cats headed his way, ready for some floofprocity.”
Flooflighting (floofinition) – similar to gaslighting, flooflighting takes place when a housepet begins manipulating activities to sow seeds of doubt about what’s going on to either inflict terror, gain power, or get revenge.
In use: “She was beginning to think her cat was flooflighting her. Every time she couldn’t find something, she’d find the big black and white cat sleeping on it under her favorite chair. It couldn’t be a coincidence that things were always dropped there. He had to be picking them, moving them there, and then hiding them from her.”
Thoroughfloof (floofinition) – a fastidious, meticulous, or tidy housepet.
In use: “A thoroughfloof in his litter box habits, the big tabby tom always dug a hole, did his business in the hole, and then covered the hole with his business with brisk, quick strokes.”
“The beagle was a throughfloof when it came to food, snatching up and lapping up anything dropped on the floor before two seconds passed, and licking his bowl clean at every feeding.”
Floof-matter (floofinition) – a hypothetical form of matter invisible to people that housepets often notice, postulated to account for animals’ odd behavior.
In use: “Without warning, the cat leaped up from its dead sleep, stood on her lap, and stared across the room without movement. She stayed calm, realizing that Alberta was probably seeing floof-matter.”
Michael Seidel, writer 