Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Hummingfloof (floofinition) – a small housepet that flits around at amazing speeds, often making a humming sound as it goes by.
In use: “Bruni excelled at going from the living room sofa to the front window and back, but the little brown hummingfloof was faster than sound when the refrigerator was opened or a package was opened.”
Floofnet (floofinition) – 1. Quantum communications systems used by animals to share information such as gossip, homes that give out food and treats, and warnings of danger. 2. World wide web that’s devoted to animals.
In use: “People always assumed that animals sniffed one another to pass messages and learn more. The reality is that such behavior was respected by the animals as an ancient tradition, although they admitted that it was also part of their disinformation campaign to keep humans ignorant of their abilities. They’d long before replaced sniffing with the floofnet, an almost instantaneous method of sharing information across long distances.”
Wolfloofrine (floofinition) – 1. a heavily built housepet whose appearance, behavior, or both, reminds people of a wolverine. 2. Slang for a housepet that resides in Michigan. 3. Housepet that acts like a tough anti-hero but is often a private sweetheart.
In use: “A classic mutt of confusing breeds like that found in an animal shelter, the dog’s wolfloofrine appearance and attitude made him difficult to adopt, but Shannon saw him, and it was love at first lick. She named him Logan, of course.”
Exfloofiate (floofinition) – to animal fur from clothing, furniture, food, and other items.
In use: “She loved her Samoyed, Thor, but the boy could shed white fur like nobody’s business, requiring extensive and persistent exfloofiating.”
Rainy day outside
Twitching tail and watchful eyes
Looking for mischief
Floofbadour (floofinition) – 1. An animal, particularly a housepet, who likes to sing by howling, barking, meowing, chirping, etc; 2. A person who likes to sing to animals.
In use: “Whenever he played his favorite album, They Only Come Out At Night by the Edgar Winter Group, his cat, who is apparently a floofbadour, runs in from wherever he is and begins loudly purring and meowing.”
Floofcebo (floofinition) – the psychological lift provided from the company of animals.
In use: “Girlfriend gone, fired from his job, and now it was raining. Suicidal thoughts were entertained, but his dog trotted over, sat down against his leg, and smiled up at him, tongue hanging from his mouth. The floofcebo effect brought an immediate grin. After a few moments of rubbing his dog’s head and scratching his ears, he got up, made coffee, and began making plans to find a better job.”
Floofdango (floofinition) – a foolish or useless act done by a housepet.
In use: “Among the dog’s many floofdangos was his willingness to charge the screen patio door and crash through it. They never knew the reasons behind the behavior, which is what made it a floofdango.”
Floofberg (floofinition) – housepet who appears smaller than they are.
In use: “Whenever the puppy slept, he curled himself into a tight ball, and appeared to be about three feet across. That was resolved as the tip of the floofberg, for when he stood and unstretched his long limbs, he was a giant with enormous paws. Everyone agreed, he was going to be huge.”
Flooftonism (floofinition) – the philosophy of housepets, especially insofar as it addresses an absolute and eternal reality that revolves around being well-fed, napping, and having fun.
In use: “Although flooftonism doesn’t call for exclusion of others, Flash the cat* believes that other animals’ presence affects her pursuit of Floofvana.”
*With apologies to nan and Flash the cat.
Michael Seidel, writer 