Haifloof #33
Floofamine
Floofamine (floofinition) – a catecholamine neurotransmitter in human’s central nervous system acting within the brain to help regulate movement and emotion when dealing with pets.
In use: “Floofologists who study psychological disorders have long been interested in how floofamine works and how relatively high or low levels in the brain relate to behavioral changes when people are interacting with their housepets.”
Hypoflooflamus
Hypoflooflamus (floofinition) – a region of the human brain that functions as the main control center for how people interact with their housepets.
In use: “The hypoflooflamus starts racing to the feel of soft fur, the regard of warm, friendly eyes, the brush of gentle whiskers, a bird’s whistle, or a paw touch.”
Infloofable
Infloofable (floofinition) – a relationship between animals, or between humans and animals, that’s indescribable.
In Use: “The infloofable complexity of how her cat calmed and grounded her, allowing her to be more comfortably in the world, exceeded humanity’s ability to understand.”
Salflooftations
Salflooftations (floofinition) – greetings exchanged by people and animals upon seeing and recognizing one another.
In use: “When he returned home each day, he’d open the door and find the ginger tabby and yellow lab in the living room, close to one another, but not touching. He’d say as salflooftations, “Hey, guys, I’m home. Obvious, right?” The dog would chuff, “Wou,” and the cat answer, “Chyew.” They’d then get up, stretch, and meander over to sniff him for the news.”
Octfloofberfest
Octfloofberfest (floofinition) – 1. Annual observance, usually held in October, to celebrate animals, especially housepets. 2. Any celebration done in recognition of, or association with, eight animals.
In use: “After adding a rescue Pittie and introducing her to the rest of the floofmagerie, they held an Octfloofberfest in honor of their eight pets. Treats for everyone!”
Flooftella
Flooftella (floofinition) 1. Nutella with animal fur in it. 2. Television shows about animals. 3. Turning on a television or streaming a video or program to entertain pets.
In use: “Every morning before leaving, a flooftella was set up so the cats would have hours of watching birds and squirrels, an offering he made to them because there was little to watch outside of the highrise building.”
Floofstacle Course
Floofstacle Course (floofinition) – a path over which people negotiate going around and over their housepets to progress from one place to another.
In use: “Loaded with a large tray of fruits, cheeses, crackers, and breads, he had to get through the floofstacle course, edging around Daisy, his elderly retriever, stretching his legs over the big black and white Maine Coon, Panda, and then tip toeing past the sprawling but petite Lady.”
Flyfloof
Flyfloof (floofinition) – 1. A small, lightweight housepet; 2. A bird pet; 3. A wingless quadruped who still thinks they can fly, or tries to fly.
In use: “At six pounds and twelve years old, Buddy was a flyfloof, but his vocal power rivaled anything Ella Fitzgerald ever belted out.”
Purflooftory
Purflooftory (floofinition) – the period of waiting for word on a missing fur friend or the outcome of their medical procedure.
In use: “The day was a waste. He’d descended into puflooftory, piddling around to smother time until the vet called and told him, “The operation was a success. Camryn is awake. You can come and get him.””
Michael Seidel, writer 