Floofari (floofinition) – a housepet’s hunting expedition.
In use: “Entering the kitchen, the doxxie began a floofari for food dropped on the floor. As long as she cooked, he knew scraps would fall to the floor. It was only a matter of time.”
Habflooftual
Habflooftual (floofinition) – customary or regularly practiced manner for interacting with housepets or animals.
In use: “Seeing a dog kicked his habflooftual responses in, and he’d immediately drop down to his knees to say hello, and if the dog was willing, and it was permitted, to give the dog a few ear skritches.”
One-upsfloofship
One-upsfloofship (floofinition) – a housepet’s practice of outdoing or keeping one jump ahead of people or other floofs.
In use: “In classic one-upsfloofship, Tiny the St. Bernard took Jumbo the tabby’s favorite sleeping location. A floof too savvy to be outdone, Jumbo settled himself on Tiny’s head and groomed himself.”
Floofaby
Floofaby (floofinition) – a song sung to housepets, typically when a loving session takes place.
In use: “When petting his cats, he would often sing a floofaby and scratch their ears, reveling in their purrs and soft fur as they curled up against him and went to sleep.”
Floofjinks
Floofjinks (floofinition) – boisterous or rambunctious carryings-on by housepets.
In use: “Nothing like the red dot laser point to start floofjinks among the cats. Once they were started, even the dogs got into the floofjinks.”
Floofket
Floofket (floofinition) – slang for a housepet that’s capable of exerting sudden bursts of energy to accomplish incredible physical feats such as knocking people over, executing high leaps, racing faster than lightning, or snatching food from others’ hand or mouth in less than an eye-blink.
In use: “Hearing a package open in the kitchen, the cat kicked into floofket mood. Leaping from sound sleep on the sofa over the coffee table, he shot into the other room, sliding to a halt at the man’s feet with a tall tail and trilling mew.”
Floofvoyance
Floofvoyance (floofinition) – a housepet’s power or faculty of discerning objects not present to human senses.
In use: “I doubt floofvoyance is real, but I can’t explain how my cat knows that things are going to happen before I have a clue that they’ve begun.”
FNA(Floofino Nucleic Acid)
FNA (Floofino Nucleic Acid) (floofinition) – self-replicating fur initially shed by housepets. FNO is present on almost all clothing, furniture, and food in a home with housepets, and can also be found in hairballs and animal feces. According to reports denied by NASA, FNA was discovered on the Moon during the first manned lunar landing.
In use: “Floofcon 2019 rose to international prominence when an announcement came out that floofologists had created a home FNA (Floofino Nucleic Acid) test kit to determine specifically from which animal hairs, hairballs, and the errant turd that turns up on the floor, originates.”
h/t to Jill Dennison, Floofologist
Flooftigraphy
Flooftigraphy (floofinition) – 1. Branch of floofology devoted to studying the layers of acquisitions of toys, foods, medicines, etc., to determine which were acquired during what floofnasty. 2. Study of the layers of pet food to identify the fur’s origins.
In use: “When her friend told her that she had white fur on her coat, surprise registered; employing her flooftigraphy training, she realized it had to be from StayPuft, the marshmallow white Spritz who passed away a decade before.”
Floofnasty
Floofnasty (floofinition) – the line of pets who ruled a household.
In use: “After scanning childhood photographs his parents gave him, he was able to establish an archival album of the floofnasties of his life. With some rue, he realized that he had more photographs of his pets than of either of his ex-wives.”
Michael Seidel, writer 