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Exfloofvert (floofinition) – 1. A person who is outgoing or overtly expressive when they encounter an animal. 2. An outgoing or overly expressive animal.
In use: “Little Bit was waiting for him when he opened the door and entered. The two, who’d been reticent since he’d left that morning, became joyous exfloofverts as Bit purred and meowed, and he laughed, stroked her, and told her how pretty she was and how much he’d missed her.”
Floofledy-goofledy (floofinition) – a confused, disordered, or random collection of animals or animal-related objects.
In use: “After eating and playing, puppies, ducks, dogs, cats, and kittens settled in a floofledy-goofledy rest on a large sunlit carpet in the living room where it was almost impossible to discern where one animal began and another ended.”
Subterfloof (floofinition) – a housepet’s deception or strategem to gain advantage.
In use: “The three dogs were told to wait to pick up their treats, but employing a subterfloof predicated on being quick, the smallest took all three treats.”
Floofant (floofinition) – net slang for very young or newborn animals.
In use: “Two new rescued kittens, just days old, were brought to her for care. She introduced her to Mama Greta, who took to them like they were her own, bringing the total that she nursed up to five. Stepping back, Hanna surveyed the floofants, happy to be helping such small, defenseless creatures. It gave her a reason to get up every day.”
Floofopalooza (floofinition) – an extravagant, all-out event involving housepets.
In use: “Sam the Beagle dashed around, sometimes barking, frightening the rambunctious kittens and scattering the tumbling puppies as their mothers – a Maine Coon and a Lab – watched and the parrot yelled abuses. Puppies and kittens came back together to bite and attack one another, gaining yelps, hisses, and mews. It was a hell of a floofopalooza.”
Floofsaurus (floofinition) 1. A housepet that reminds people of a dinosaur, often through its appearance, slow speed, tyrannical nature, or stand-offish personality. 2. A book that lists floofinitions and other words in groups of synonyms and related concepts.
In use: “Consulting a floofsaurus, he found a synonym for floofpourri was floofimaufry. Floofimaufry meant a haphazard collection of pet items. With smiles, he realized floofimaufry was the perfect word for his son’s room. Although only ten, his menagerie of mostly rescues included two dogs, three cats, a lizard, two birds, and a fresh-water aquarium of fish alongside a salt-water aquarium. Walking through the room was difficult for the aflooftrements littering the floor.”
Floofpose (floofinition) – 1. When a housepet seems to strike a pose while in the middle of doing something else. 2. The way housepets lay while sleeping.
In use: “The tortie was washing her face, and the lab was crossing the living room when both floofposed in the middle of their respective acts, bewildering their human. “What is it?” she said. “What do you see?” As if shrugging, the cat resumed watching and the dog continued to the pet door.”
Floofpourri (floofinition) – 1. A mixture of odors usually associated with having one or more housepets. 2. A miscellaneous collection of items used by or for housepets.
In use: “A child’s old toy box had become a floofpourri, with collars and leashes peppering jingle balls, tennis balls, and fake mice and birds. Several of the housefloofs had a habit of getting out whatever they wanted. Briscoe always found and brought out her favorite catnip-stuffed mouse, and Lawyer retrieved his leash whenever he thought it was time to go for a walk.”
Vacflooflate (floofinition) – for a housepet to waver in mind, will, or feeling about going or staying in and out of somewhere.
In use: “The cat ran to do the door, but once it was open, he vacflooflated about going out or staying in.”
h/t to Facebook/The Greek Cat Society (UK) for photo.
Michael Seidel, writer 