Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofletics (floofinition) – exercises, sports, and games practiced by housepets.
In use: “Sometimes, he let the bird fly around for exercise, and the cats and dogs chased one another in energetic floofletics. It was enjoyable to sit back and watch, although he was occasionally employed as referee.”
What sensational dreams last night. I dreamed I was playing games, just a flow of games – video, pinball, baseball, volleyball, football. None of this was organized. Although an adult male, I ran from game to game with childish enthusiasm, played and won. And as I played and won, I realized a big board, like an arena scoreboard, showed my growing point totals. My points were rising so quickly and to such levels, everyone else was getting excited. Then, others started coming by and telling me, “Your big payout is coming. You’re going to win a big price.” My wife joined me, and was so happy and expectant. As for me? I was all grin as I played and won again, again and again, never losing.
Such a buoyant dream, full of positive energy. It was awesome.
Straddle-floof (catfinition) – a common game played in households with pets. The game’s simple goal is to straddle a household pet, such as a dog or cat, and walk over it when it’s encountered, rather than walking around the pet, or making it get up and move. Scoring is based on the degree of difficulty, such as items being carried, the level of light, the pet’s size and the number of pets. Bonus points are offered if the pet is asleep and they’re straddled without being disturbed.
In use: “He had a shopping bag in each arm and a large sleeping cat in the middle of the hall rug, a perfect straddle-floof set-up — and he was wearing shoes. He imagined an announcer speaking in hushed golfing tones saying, “He’s going for it.””
Flootch (catfinition) – a feline game that involves a human throwing something. The cat then runs after it. Grabbing it, the cat will either bat it around or kick it. Then, stopping, the cat will wait for the human to do something. When the humans does something, the cat scores a point.
The humans never score. It’s all a cat’s game.
I’m not always a quick thinker. Otherwise, I would have answers today.
It’s about a dream. Yeah. I should have asked myself, why are you dreaming this? I don’t recall ever featuring pigs in a dream before.
I was feeding a pig. He was a shiny little pink porker. He came downstairs in my house, a very happy and excited little creature. I had company. Friends were visiting. I didn’t want the pig downstairs. So I called him and led him back upstairs.
It was messy upstairs. It seems like we were in a transition. My intention was to feed the pig some cornflakes. He found some on the floor and gobbled them up, but he wanted more. I thought he spotted more but they turned out to be scraps of paper. He didn’t want to eat those. As I searched for corn flakes to feed him, another pig, slightly larger but equally pink and shiny, emerged, along with a few cats. So I talked to them, telling them I was looking for food and was going to feed them, even as I couldn’t find the food that I expected. I headed downstairs to find some.
I had company, three former co-workers from a flying unit. Laying on sofas, they were watching television and playing games while they chatted to me and my wife. I was annoyed because they had disconnected the best television and were employing old cathode ray televisions on carts. I set about fixing that.
Meanwhile, another friend from the same unit showed up. I asked him what he thought of his new position. He replied, “This is what war sounds like.” Then, using a gallon paint can, he made a metallic rumbling noise that was loud and unpleasant. “All the time,” he said.
Others, less known but known, showed up. Setting up tables, they sat down to prepare food to feed me. I was embarrassed and grateful for their efforts, but I kept trying to tell them that it wasn’t necessary. They ignored me, continuing to cook.
Pigs…confusion…identity. It’s something to research and think about today, since I didn’t bother to ask myself for clarification when it was happening. I’ll need to think quicker next time.
Michael Seidel, writer 