Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Imflooftative (floofinition) – Copying or following a model or example set by an animal.
In use: “Many floofs, aware that humans are often easily manipulated, like to induce people to pursue imflooftative behavior, such as barking, meowing, and purring. Animals often regard these antics and post them on Floofbook for others to experience.”
Floofbador (floofinition) – 1. A class of poets who focus their lyrical attempts on writing about animals.
In use: “He wasn’t a floofbador, despite his efforts to create haifloofs.”
2. A person who likes singing to animals.
In use: “Each day, she sat down to be a floofbador by singing opera, immediately drawing the shepherd to her presence, where he anxiously tried looking into her mouth to see what was going on.”
3. A singing animal, particularly of traditional floof songs such as the classic, “Feed Me Now”.
In use: “Every morning, usually at about five thirty, depending on the weather (she wasn’t fond of cold, wind, or precipitation), the neighbor’s little feline floofbador stole in through the pet door, went to the bed, and began her song of desperate hunger, belying her plump appearance.”
Floof Age (floofinition) – The first known period of animal culture, characterized by the animals domination over the Earth.
In use: “When animals’ first floofcraft arrived on Earth after their escape, they settled in neolithic humans settlements and passed on their knowledge of agriculture and architecture to help humanity survive and flourish, a neolithic era often known among animals as the Floof Age.”
Box Floof (floofinition) – A housepet who enjoy climbing into boxes to explore, often remaining them to nap and play.
In use: “Three cats, and yet the five boxes attracted none of them. There wasn’t a box floof among them.”
Floof-matter (floofinition) – a hypothetical form of matter invisible to people that housepets often notice, postulated to account for animals’ odd behavior.
In use: “Without warning, the cat leaped up from its dead sleep, stood on her lap, and stared across the room without movement. She stayed calm, realizing that Alberta was probably seeing floof-matter.”
Compufloof (floofinition) – housepet who is attracted to computers and other technological devices.
In use: “No laptop, iPhone, or smart phone could be set down and left unattended. As soon as they were, one of the resident compufloofs was on it. Even television, entertainment center, and DVR remotes were bait for their Golden Retriever. That compufloof had once collected them all, hiding them in a closet corner.”
Urban-floof (floofinition) – housepet who lives in the city.
In Use: “As urban-floofs, when the dogs were taken to the country, the wide, grassy fields and lack of noise seemed to surprise them, for they stood and looked for several minutes before starting to sniff around.”
Macfloofnation (floofinition) – a housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design to accomplish something it knows it’s not allowed to do; a group of animal lovers who also identify as Apple Mac users; (slang) housepets who enjoy eating food from McDonald’s restaurants.
In use: “As part of his macfloofations to get food off the plate, he put on his cutest face, holding it in place as he edged his paw forward.”
Floofgry (floofintion) – a hungry, drowsy look that housepets use when they’ve been asleep and are awakened by the sound of an opening container.
In use: “Hearing him open a new package of toilet paper, the small orange tabby raised his head and favored him with a floofgry look.”
Imfloofglio (floofinition) – an embarrassing situation for a housepet.
In use: “In a classic imfloofglio, the tabby leaped and missed its landing. Immediately going into spin control, she sat down and washed herself, sometimes glancing around to say, “What? I meant to do that.””
Michael Seidel, writer 