Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Flooferential Calculus (floofinition) – The effort to decide which animal is most preferred and why.
In use: “Some animals, like Flash, were aware of flooferential calculur and decided that the best way to avoid it was to not allow other animals in the vicinity. Thus, she was a fierce, vocal defender of her territory and people.”
Flooftidian (floofinition) – Commonplace, every day, or ordinary activities involving an animal.
In use: “The flooftidian in homes with pets includes feeding them several times a day and playing with them several times a day, along with napping and grooming.”
Bonfloofmie (floofinition) – A good-natured animal, or easy friendliness between animals.
In use: “The home was full of animals and bonfloofmie, with cats, dogs, and a hamster napping together, watching activities outside the windows, or following the humans about to see what the what those people were up to.”
Floofumentary (floofinition) – A presentation (such as a film or novel) expressing or dealing with animals.
In use: “Popular floofumentaries include Benji, Babe, The Lion King, and 101 Dalmatians.
Floof Shui (floofinition) – Traditional practice that animals use to arrange themselves for the best energy flow.
In use: “Parent animals quickly teach their offspring floof shui, noting, for example, that for many, the best sleeping position is to curl up in a tight ball with their head upside down.”
Timefloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who is consistent about their activities.
In use: “Barb has little need for an alarm clock because her little black cat was a timefloof who woke her every morning at 5:55 AM with food demands.”
2. Ancient race of extraterrestrial animals who have command of time travel.
In use: “Pets sometimes disappear and reappear without people knowing where the animals were, because either the animal is a Timefloof, or they’ve been traveling with a Timefloof as their companion.”
Floofy Sapient (floofinition) – 1. A wise animal, or an animal who appears wise.
In use: “Many times think their pets seem seem floofy sapient in the way that their eyes drink in human behavior.”
2. A person who is knowledgeable about animal behavior, needs, treatment, or care.”
In use: “Often someone is called a ‘horse whisperer’ or ‘dog whisperer’, when they’re really floofy sapient from being caring and patient with animals.”
Subfloof (floofinition) – 1. A physical object underneath an animal.
In use: “They knew the remote was subfloof again because the dog started moving around in her sleep and the channels began changing.”
2. Food or behavior that’s considered beneath an animal’s dignity.
In use: “Trying to entice the cat back into the house, he opened a can of food and called the cat, who sat down, watching him, clearly deciding that falling for such tricks was subfloof.”
The last Thursday of January, 2022, is upon us. We’ve already passed an entire month, as we’re now on the 27th. Does that seem too fast to anyone else? Who is in charge of the speed of time?
Sunrise hit like a bowling ball slowly rolling through the pins at 7:29 AM. Sunshine will flee the scene at 5:19 AM. It’s 44 F now but is expected to hit 61 before descending back down to 32 at night. A fine day, but I will tell you, it gets cold fast when the sun starts making its day-end run. I was with friends, outside, having a beer at 4 PM yesterday. All of us were dressed for it but that sun slide away and took all warmth with it. We dropped from 58 to 45 fast, and it wasn’t a friendly 45. What we endure for a beer with friends.
“Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass (1972) is riding my mind’s rails in the morning mental music stream. I can honestly say I don’t know why. It’s a song I know well from AM pop on transistor radios. It’s also showed up in a number of movies over the decades. Something about the song, a story with pop rock atmosphere, about a girl in a fishing village in love with a fisherman, settles into the mind groove and plays without offending. I also used it — twice — as part of the floofinitions when the floof-rock (flock) group Looking Floof and their hit “Brandy (You’re A Fine Pet)” was featured.
Here’s the music. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the jabs when you can. I need some coffee. See if that’ll help me match January ’22’s speed. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 