Parfloofsi

Parfloofsi (floofinition) – a strategy game played by housepets. Based on superior senses and knowledge that animals have that humans don’t begin to approach, there’s no sense trying to define the game’s rules and objectives to people.

In use: “As soon as Michael rose from bed, Papi, Tucker, and Boo began a game of parfloofsi, staying in one place and watching one another as he called them, expecting to feed them. None came for food; the parfloofsi was too gripping for the cats to eat.”

Overfloof

Overfloof (floofinition) – in households with more than one pet, the pet that usually keeps order (if there is any order).

In use: “In a household of two Beagles, one German Shepherd, and one Jack Russell along with four cats (and a hamster), a bird was the overfloof. Able to mimic the doorbell, garbage truck, and vacuum cleaner along with the sound of crinkling plastic and their masters’ voices, the bird kept the animals in a wary but peaceful vigil.”

Floofvana

Floofvana (floofinition) – in floofism, a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, because one is with their housepets, and the world feels as perfect as it can be, at least for a moment.

In use: “Tired from working and cleaning the house, and running around on errands, she sat down on the couch. The Corgi and cat soon joined her, making room for themselves and each other on her lap. With one purring and both looking drowsy, she soon entered floofvana. Everyone should have pets, she thought. It would  make the world a better place if they did.”

M.F.W.I.C. (Updated)

M.F.W.I.C., aka MFWIC: (Catfinition) – Mother floof what’s in charge, a reference to the household queen who organizes the other pets, and enforces order and structure in the floofhold.

In use: “She wasn’t big nor vocal, but she was the MFWIC, and touching any of her charges – the other household pets – meant you had to first pass her scrutiny, no exceptions.”

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