Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofopalooza (floofinition) – an extravagant, all-out event involving housepets.
In use: “Sam the Beagle dashed around, sometimes barking, frightening the rambunctious kittens and scattering the tumbling puppies as their mothers – a Maine Coon and a Lab – watched and the parrot yelled abuses. Puppies and kittens came back together to bite and attack one another, gaining yelps, hisses, and mews. It was a hell of a floofopalooza.”
Floofsaurus (floofinition) 1. A housepet that reminds people of a dinosaur, often through its appearance, slow speed, tyrannical nature, or stand-offish personality. 2. A book that lists floofinitions and other words in groups of synonyms and related concepts.
In use: “Consulting a floofsaurus, he found a synonym for floofpourri was floofimaufry. Floofimaufry meant a haphazard collection of pet items. With smiles, he realized floofimaufry was the perfect word for his son’s room. Although only ten, his menagerie of mostly rescues included two dogs, three cats, a lizard, two birds, and a fresh-water aquarium of fish alongside a salt-water aquarium. Walking through the room was difficult for the aflooftrements littering the floor.”
Floofpose (floofinition) – 1. When a housepet seems to strike a pose while in the middle of doing something else. 2. The way housepets lay while sleeping.
In use: “The tortie was washing her face, and the lab was crossing the living room when both floofposed in the middle of their respective acts, bewildering their human. “What is it?” she said. “What do you see?” As if shrugging, the cat resumed watching and the dog continued to the pet door.”
Last night’s dream shook me. I’m not certain why.
I was with my spouse. We were at her mother’s property, with her mother. Her mother passed away in Feb., 2018, after several years of illness. Her illness and care were instrumental in a family schism with one sister. The property is over twenty acres in the countryside.
The estranged sister wasn’t present. I had an impression that it was she who’d passed away. My wife, mother-in-law, and I were talking in general. As the conversation progressed, I was inspecting the house and thinking about what needed to be fixed and how that would be done. We were mostly talking about the dead sister’s husband. He was planning to stay on the property (he and his wife had a home on it) and would continue taking care of it.
I went outside to walk around. It was a gray, quiet, chilly day. While there was a lawn around the houses and outbuildings, fog swathed the woods. Tree trunks obscured with a gauzy swirl.
Weirdly, I still heard my wife and her mother talking, even though they remained in the house. While walking around, I saw a large, gray or dirty white curly-haired dog cross the property. To me, it appeared that the dog had dragged itself out from a hole under one of the outbuildings. When I went to check that out, I saw another dog come out of a hole from under another building. That was soon happening in every direction. There were quickly seven or eight dogs of different sizes, colors, and breeds running around.
I spotted a small ginger tabby cat. Seeing all of these, I ran back to tell my wife and her mother about the animals. They either didn’t understand or didn’t believe me. I kept repeating what I was telling them, and then insisted that they come out to look. They finally agreed, and when they looked, the number of dogs seemed to double, and then two ginger cats were there standing up and looking back at something. As if a signal was given, the cats dropped to their feet and darted away. Seconds later, the dogs did the same. For several moments, it was a helter-skelter scene of dogs racing to their holes.
And then they were gone.
End.
Floofpourri (floofinition) – 1. A mixture of odors usually associated with having one or more housepets. 2. A miscellaneous collection of items used by or for housepets.
In use: “A child’s old toy box had become a floofpourri, with collars and leashes peppering jingle balls, tennis balls, and fake mice and birds. Several of the housefloofs had a habit of getting out whatever they wanted. Briscoe always found and brought out her favorite catnip-stuffed mouse, and Lawyer retrieved his leash whenever he thought it was time to go for a walk.”
Floofari (floofinition) – a housepet’s hunting expedition.
In use: “Entering the kitchen, the doxxie began a floofari for food dropped on the floor. As long as she cooked, he knew scraps would fall to the floor. It was only a matter of time.”
Habflooftual (floofinition) – customary or regularly practiced manner for interacting with housepets or animals.
In use: “Seeing a dog kicked his habflooftual responses in, and he’d immediately drop down to his knees to say hello, and if the dog was willing, and it was permitted, to give the dog a few ear skritches.”
One-upsfloofship (floofinition) – a housepet’s practice of outdoing or keeping one jump ahead of people or other floofs.
In use: “In classic one-upsfloofship, Tiny the St. Bernard took Jumbo the tabby’s favorite sleeping location. A floof too savvy to be outdone, Jumbo settled himself on Tiny’s head and groomed himself.”
Floofaby (floofinition) – a song sung to housepets, typically when a loving session takes place.
In use: “When petting his cats, he would often sing a floofaby and scratch their ears, reveling in their purrs and soft fur as they curled up against him and went to sleep.”
Michael Seidel, writer 