Tag: Cat

Phlooommm

I don’t know what was up with the gingerbun this morning, a.k.a., the orange feline floof known as Papi, but also called Meep (in appreciation of the meeping sound he uses for a meow).

I’d fed him and let him out of the house. An hour later, I checked on him to see if he wanted in. He wasn’t around the back door. As I headed for the front door, I thought I heard a thump – perhaps the sound of a cat whacking the door with his paw – at the back door, so I reversed course. Yes, there he sat, waiting for the door to open.

So, you know, I did.

Phlooommm, a bright orange streak galloped past me. In wonder, I turned and watched him make a circuit of the living room, dining room, and kitchen, come back to me, and stop, looking up at me with his tail standing tall. I swear he was grinning. As I closed the door, I said, “Aren’t you in high spirits?”

Phlooommm, Papi bolted away, leaping up onto dining room chairs and off, sprinting past Tucker, the house lord, spinning on the hardwood floor, and then racing back to me to slam to a grinning halt in front of me again.

“Are you hungry?” I asked.

Yes, he replied, tail up, rubbing against my leg. Then, phlooommm, he flashed away.

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Cornufloofpia

Cornufloofpia (floofinition) – a curved, hollow goat’s horn or similarly shaped receptacle (such as a horn-shaped basket) that is overflowing with a sleeping housepet.

In use: “She’d begun a project to make a classic Thanksgiving cornucopia, but after putting the horn-shaped basket out and going for more supplies, she returned to discover her dog had wedged herself partially into it, turning it into a cornufloofpia overflowing with floof.”

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Brinkfloofship

Brinkfloofship (floofintion) – a housepet’s practice of pushing an uncomfortable or undesirable situation or confrontation to the limit to force a desired outcome

In use: “Tail swishing, the little cat stalked the old Tom despite the latter’s growls, taking its brinkfloofship to levels not seen before and the house, and prompting the German Shepherd to intervene to keep the peace.”

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Floofigans

Floofigans (floofinition) – a noisy young housepet who causes trouble.

In use: “A loud crash in the kitchen brought a sigh to Keri’s lips and the question that she’d been asking a lot since acquiring the young cat, “What are you doing now, you little floofigan?” A moment later, said floofigan trotted out of the kitchen, graced her with a wide-eyed look, issued an adamant meow of denial, put its tail up and ran to her. Exasperated as she was, she had to smile as the feline leaped onto her lap, kneaded her thigh, and purred.”

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Flooftake

Flooftake (floofinition) – housepets eating or drinking something that a human was planning to eat or drink.

In use: “He made a mistake, leaving his sandwich and chips on a plate on the table while he went into the other room for his book. Upon returning, he found the cat and dog had flooftaken the sandwich, and were working on the chips.”

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Floofi

Floofi (floofinition) – plural of floof when more than one species is involved.

In use: “When he had two cats, they were floofs, but when he added a dog and a cockatoo, floofs became floofi.”

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Floofclivity

Floofclivity (floofinition) – a housepet’s inclination or predisposition toward something.

In use: “The oldest cat, Max, had a massive floofclivity to eating from the man’s place. Though the man struggled for years to stop him, the cat’s will and determination won.”

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Floofback

Floofback (floofinition) – a housepet who sleeps on their back; a housepet who sleeps on another housepet’s back; a housepet who sleeps on people’s backs.

In use: “A true floofback, Crystal loved hopping onto my back whenever I lay down on my stomach, curl up, and go to sleep.”

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Floofbehaving

Floofbehaving (floofinition) – acting like an animal, regardless of what humans want an animal to do or the rules and restrictions people impose on their housepets.

In use: “She said, “He’s been misbehaving. He ate the Elf on the Shelf.” He replied, “You think it’s misbehaving, but it’s just floofbehaving. It’s just a dog being a dog.””

 

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Lenfloofcular

Lenfloofcular (floofinition) – housepet who resembles a lentil when they’re sleeping.

In use: “At a casual glance, the cats’ lenfloofcular positions made it look like Jack had dropped big three beans onto the bed.”

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