Tag: business

The Commercials

Watching television yesterday, I saw a McDonald’s commercial. It’s surprising that I heard and saw the commercial. I’m fond of muting the commercials or leaving the room as they play. But I decided to stay and watch a few.

In this commercial, the young customer was celebrating as if he’d done something great, in this case, making a basketball shot from half-court. As he celebrated that fantasy, McDonald’s employees said were trying to get his attention to tell him his order was ready.

So, essentially, my takeaway is that you have to be delusional and living in a fantasy world to enjoy McDonald’s.

Next up was an Amazon ad. This one told me that the problems at work, such as being marginalized, can be solved by work, by Amazon. Yeah, really? Fuck me, isn’t that amazing? They’re touting that the businesses and industries that created the problems will now turn around and solve them, and that Amazon can help.

Right, I believe that.

The other commercial that made me groan aloud was a Dodge Ram commercial. In this one, a voice-over talks about how Americans love sports as different games and athletes are shown. Then, rhetorically, we’re asked, “What’s America’s favorite sport?” Their astounding answer is, paraphrasing, “None of the above. Work is America’s favorite sport.” They said, “We were born to work.”

*snark alert*

Yes, that’s what I’ve always heard from others. “Play football, baseball, or golf? Heck, no, I want to go to work. Go to see the Olympic games? No, I’d miss work. Watch the SuperBowl when I can go to work? No way.” 

Perhaps only truck owners think this, though. I honestly can’t say that I’ve ever encountered someone driving a truck, Dodge or otherwise, who said, “My favorite sport is work.”

Dodge — and the other companies — have gone into deep holes of delusion. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I don’t know what’s going on.

Maybe there are millions of Americans who do think that a six dollar McDonald’s meal is so fantastic that they dance and celebrate. Maybe there are millions of people buying the idea that Amazon can help solve the vexing problems of pay inequity, being marginalized, and glass ceilings. Maybe millions of people agree with Dodge, that their favorite sport is work. Or perhaps, these companies believe that if they say it enough, they’ll convince people of the truth behind their visions.

One, I hope no one is buying this new wave of shit.

Two, I really doubt that they are.

I believe most American sit back, watch these commercials and think, what bullshit. Most of them, getting ready to go to work, sigh, and think, one more time.

 

 

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A Moment for Blockbuster

Renting videos to play at home had become a big thing while my wife and I were living in Japan in the early eighties. Much cheaper than the movies, it was also more convenient than going to a theater, standing in line, and sitting in uncomfortable seats. Renting videos were also excellent ways to help endure typhoons, as long as the power stayed on.

Blockbuster hit the American scene in 1985, but we were in Germany. We were impressed when we returned to America. At last, we could go to a convenient location and find a wide assortment of movies for a reasonable price.

We weren’t necessarily thrilled. My wife and I liked supporting small, independent video rental businesses in our area. But, sadly, they lacked good selections. Finding nothing there for us to rent, we grudgingly started renting our videos from Blockbuster.

Blockbuster’s ugly side was soon revealed as they treated us, the  customers, like dirt. Greg Satell at Forbes magazine summed it up for us.

“Yet Blockbuster’s model had a weakness that wasn’t clear at the time.  It earned an enormous amount of money by charging its customers late fees, which had become an important part of Blockbuster’s revenue model.  The ugly truth—and the company’s achilles heel—was that the company’s profits were highly dependent on penalizing its patrons.”

The lines became ridiculously long at Blockbusters. A movie rented at one location couldn’t be returned to a different location. What had been fun, going to Blockbuster to rent a movie, lost its enjoyment. (It reminds me of how taking a flight across the country used to be and how it now is, with the airlines trying to suck pennies out of its customers for anything and everything.)

A pause to reflect on customer service and support. My wife and I have noticed that both have rapidly diminished in our experience, whether it’s with retail stores, Internet providers, rental places, airlines, hotels, newspapers, and utilities. What’s most telling is that if this topic is brought up at a gathering, everyone have stories to share about bad customers service and support. The one bright spot for us, and other agrees, have been Costco.

We’re holding our breath and have our fingers crossed that Costco doesn’t become like the rest.

When Netflix came along, we leaped on it. Creating a list online, we received DVDs in the mail, watched them, and mailed them back. Not everything we wanted to watch was immediately available, but it was a damn sight better than the Blockbuster experience.

Netflix has almost lost us over the years as we shifted to the streaming model and experienced price increases. I’ve left them twice for others, but the others soon took me for granted, and Netflix lured me back.

Right now, Netflix is barely hanging on to me. My wife and I don’t find much to watch, but we see the same pattern on Hulu, Amazon Prime, Britbox, Acorn, etc. There’s one or two enticing shows, a plethora of things that aren’t to our tastes, and then a huge offering of old movies and television series. In the end, the streaming experience has become much like the video experience, which, itself, became much like the cable television experience of, so many channels, nothing to watch. As for Blockbuster, much like VHS and Beta recordings, its star has waned.

Fortunately, we have books and computer games. I would mention Facebook and social media, but I’ve noticed a trend there…

It kind of reminds me of Blockbuster.

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The Green Parrots Dream

Millions of bright green things floated and twirled through the sky toward me and the rest. They reminded me of green snow flurries. A companion said, “What’s that?”

I was recognizing them as bright green parrots. Reaching out, I collected a handful of them and confirmed, they’re green parrots. Small as peas, they were much lighter, and they were alive.

“Tiny green parrots,” I said, offering a cupped handful of parrots to another, careful not to injure the birds.

It was an odd interlude in an odd dream. Before that, I’d been helping others. First, I was at a small business. Like a food kiosk, it was a wooden structured attached to the front of a large office building. The kiosk needed painted. I was told to paint it brown. It wasn’t the best color, in my opinion, but I would do as told.

Midway through painting the kiosk, I took a break. After wandering, I came across shack. Inside was a young boy and his dog.

The boy appeared to be a ten-year-old Mexican, and the dog was black and large. I’d found the boy in a shack. Asking questions, I confirmed that the shack was where he lived. He had little food or clothing, and his body and garments reflected that.

“Come on,” I said, taking his hand. “You’ll live with me. I’ll give you food. Bring your dog. You’re a package.”

We went to my house, which had no remarkable details in the dream. Taking the boy in, I asked him his name (I don’t remember what it is), and fed him and the dog. My father entered with another man. I introduced the boy and his dog, and told my father, “He’s living here now. Take care of him.” I left.

Heading back to the kiosk, I saw a can of light blue paint. I decided that would be a better color than the brown. I don’t know whether I took the paint or bought it, but it was now mine. Heading back toward the kiosk, I encountered another kiosk. I was also painted the same brown. Meeting a woman there, I lamented about the lack of business and product and then realized that I was speaking to the owner. Confirming that, I suggested we paint her business with the light blue paint that I had. As she vacillated, I said, “I’ll do it,” and started painting it. That made her happy.

We talked while I painted. I told her that I owned the other kiosk (which had apparently transpired as I was going about) and that I was also painting my business the same color blue, and that I was adding white and gold dream. That seemed to make her happy. I told her that I’d do the same for her business.

Friends came by and began helping. We needed more paint, and I also wanted to begin painting my business, so some of us left. As we walked and talked, looking for the needed paint, the green parrots arrived.

After the green parrot interlude, I returned to my business. Friends had already arrived and were painting it the new colors. That made me happy, but a man in uniform approached.

A badge was on his shirt pocket. He was looking for the boy. I told him that he was with me. The officer told me that wasn’t acceptable. He wanted to take the boy away. I took the officer back to see the boy and show him the boy was okay. The officer still wasn’t happy, but left, promising to come back. I asked the boy what he wanted to do, and he said he wanted to stay with me. I said, “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

The dream ended.

 

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420, Come & Gone

420 came and went. We had a lot of ads for marijuana conventions and sellers on the radio, but little else. Nobody had a parade around here. Hallmark didn’t put out any cards, and very few places had specials.

Which is really sad and short-sighted. Do restaurants not know that people smoking grass often want a munchie? They should have been all over that.

Don’t know where Hallmark Cards and the other card producers were for Weed Day, eituer. These companies have impressive holiday/recipient card matrixes. Need a card? What’s the occasion? How much do you want to spend? Do you want it to be funny or religious? Who is the recipient? Is it for you father, mother, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, or a step parent? Is it to a child? What age? The card is available!

But not for Weed Day. I couldn’t find a single card to send mom. As far as I know, only Denver really seemed to get behind it. Which is why I’m so ashamed of Ashland. You’d think this place, which celebrates beer, wine, and food, along with chocolate, movies, plays, and the outdoors, would have had some kind of celebratory marketing campaign.

Even as I write, though, I’m sure marketing mavericks across America are toking while thinking, “How did I miss that opportunity?” I’m sure they’ll fix it soon, I mean, look how quietly the SuperBowl started, and what it’s since become.

Oh, wow, now I see it: the Marijuana Bowl. The halftime show can be Jim Stafford singing “Wildwood Weed.”

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The Lead

To all those politicians, political parties, companies, and organizations who like to shade the truth, cut corners, exercise doublespeak, dismiss ethics and principles, and flat-out lie and cheat, you shouldn’t be surprise if your customers and supporters can no longer be trusted because they do the same thing.

They’re just following your lead.

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And Another Thing

Someone asked me if I could tell them where there’s an “ATM machine” nearby. 

WTF? Really? What do you think that M in ATM stands for? Money?

That kicked in a memory stream. I remember when ATMs first came out.

Yes, I am that old, children.

(I also remember when cable sprawl began, and when we started having color televisions, microwaves, and all the kinds of satellite things we now have. Get over it.)

We thought ATMs were great. Before them, you had to park, go inside, get in line, and take care of business, or drive into a line, if there were drive-through tellers, wait, and take care of business. Whichever option you chose, waiting was involved.

There was a forty dollar limit on what we could withdraw from ATMs back then. Forty dollars was a lot more money in that era. A tank of gas cost me less than ten, or maybe just over ten, dollars. Coffee – hello? – was a dollar a cup. Believe it, children.

Banks touted ATMs as a wonderful invention. It would save them so much money, and they would pass all those savings on to you through increased interest rates on your accounts and certificates of deposit. You could get your money from any ATM. Isn’t that great? Yes, it was wonderful!

Then, the banks and credit unions started complaining about the unanticipated costs. There were lines at the ATMs because there were longer lines in the bank, because they’d cut back on tellers to reduce overhead. The number of ATM transactions started to be capped. Going over that number meant you’d be penalized.

Then came the networks. Networks were formed to share the costs and reduce the burdens – for the financial institutions. What it meant for you was that if an ATM wasn’t in your network, you’d be charged for the luxury of using that machine to access your money. Piss me off?

You betcha. We were always wandering around towns, looking for ATMs and asking, “Is that one in our network?” Everyone had their eyes peeled for ATMs, crying out, “There’s one!” Then we’d aim the car that way. Yes, children, this was before ATMs came to be in other businesses, or stores. This was also before debit cards.

The ATMs typically had a list of networks that the institution belonged to. You’d need to figure out if one of those networks included your institution. If you couldn’t find one, you could be charged, with good ol’ Bank of America (who else, right?) leading the way in outrageous fees. Eventually, the banks and credit unions were forced to warn you if you were going to be charged, and accept that fee before going on.

Of course, the reverse of this was not having ATMs, but depending on your bank and credit union by writing checks, or going in, standing in the lobby for a while, and withdrawing some funds. That wasn’t fun, either.

So, even with my complaints (I am Michael, hear me complain), the ATMs are a lot better than the way it was. Just remember to heed the unspoken warning, “User beware.”

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Bothered

Does it bother anyone else that CVS and Walmart stores turned people away during the false missile alert in Hawaii the other day?

It bothers me. I heard it rationalized by business folks as a liability issue. You know, if everyone survived, but something happened to someone while they were in the store, they might sue the store or corporation afterward. I think that rationalization shows skewed — and flawed — priorities.

I did read two aspects of the alert scare which amused me. They came from the same source, an SFGate.com article about Duane Kuiper’s experience during the false alert in Hawaii. The article said, “The outdoor restaurant was emptied with breakfasts still on the tables.” Kuiper was quoted, “When people leave food, that’s not a good sign. Especially if you’re from Wisconsin. You don’t leave food.”

Too true. You know it’s serious when we’re all getting up and leaving our feed.

The second amusing aspect from that same article was, “The guards were yelling at swimmers to get out of the pool. An older man doing laps while wearing earplugs did not hear the order, so a guard walked into the pool fully clothed to drag him out.”

From the way I read it, it seems like they were concerned about people being in the pool during a missile strike, like the pool was a dangerous place to be when the missile hit. I know, it’s just me, and my warped sense of humor and perspective.

We can laugh about it now (or some of us, well removed from the threat, can), but it was an intense experience for those in the threatened area.

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Snow

I’ve never had a Snow. Have you? I’ve only learned of it today.

Snow is one of the biggest selling beers in the world. A lager, it’s brewed and sold in China. Some say it’s the best-selling beer but others argue that Snow breweries include multiple ranges of beers, and that if you let Budweiser include all its variations as a single brand, Bud is selling more. Impressively, perhaps, Snow was only introduced in 1993. It’s climbed fast but then, it has state sponsorship to grow and it’s offered in a unique market: China.

As I only rarely drink lagers, I don’t believe I’m missing much by not tasting Beer, a belief that’s flat-out wrong. I don’t know what the beer will taste like. I’m assuming that such a mass-produced lager isn’t going to open my eyes and make me weep with joy at its taste. I could be wrong, though. I understand from reviews of Snow, it has a low alcoholic content and has a mild flavor, tasting like an mass-produced American beer. Those aren’t attributes I seek in a beer.

I learned about Snow courtesy of the big news. Asahi, the Japanese company that brews beers, is buying five beer brands from Anheuser-Busch InBev, the giant beer octopus. Anheuser-Busch, of course, is the American brewer. We know them from their beers like Anheuser-Busch. A-B is owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev, a name that flows like an IPA off the tongue. InBev, of course, is the giant international brewing company. Anheuser-Busch InBev acquired SABMiller in 2015. SABMiller brews Fosters, the Australian lager, and Miller, the American lager.

All of this is marginally depressing. I decry larger and larger acquisitions. I’ve been sucked up into the guts of Tyco and IBM and slightly smaller but still large corporations through acquisitions. Each time, they enthused about how they loved our corporate culture and wanted to change their company culture to incorporate our culture, which is absolute bullshit. Taste it once, you don’t need to taste it again. Then the feasting began. Eventually all that was left of the acquired company’s culture is a few picked over bones, like the name and a handful of employees.

I also decry malls, for kind of the same reasons. Fly to any city and go to the malls and the variations between them are smaller than a pubic hair. They really only change when you go into the fringes of the poor and wealthy. Try it sometime.

These beer mergers and acquisitions would depress me more if I weren’t in the humble Rogue Valley, home of sensational breweries pumping out interesting and tasteful variations on lagers, pilsners, porters, stouts, porters, IPAs, ales and the like. I also live not far from Bend, with its happening beer scene, and awesome Portland. What worries me most is that such acquisitions are often harbingers of things to come. What keeps me sane is that there are many home and craft brewers who keep taking the decision to take their creations public.

A toast to those bold souls. May they ever brew on.

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