Flooftorian
Flooftorian (floofinition) – 1. An imperial animal bodyguard.
In use: “The big German Shepherd was friendly as all get-out until someone raised a voice or a hand at Robby. Maxwell was then immediately a Flooftorian, ready to destroy anyone threatening his person in any way.”
2. A human who fights for animals and their rights and defends animals.
In use: “The little girl became a Flooftorian when she was five when she stopped older kids from mistreating and abusing a puppy. Though she did not know it, her course for the future was set.”
3. An animal from the planet Floofto.
In use: “After the Flooftorian exited the Floof Exchange, arriving on Earth, she began looking for a place to call home. Her appearance resembled a T-rex, so it surprised many. They thought the species was extinct, and didn’t realize that it had just gone off to other worlds.”
Amazon Sucks
So, here we go again, first world blues. I’m just a jaded American who is too easily irritated and prone to whining.
Amazon and the USPS are at my issue’s center. Really, it’s more than that. I have a cat getting on in age. He’s been puking often. Give him hairball stuff. These are hard little pellets. He likes them. They help some. But still, a puke every other day. He’s otherwise a happy, healthy, good-looking boy.
Reading online, others suggest a raised tilted food bowl will help alleviate the issue. Well, why not? I will try that.
I searched locally. Nada. Widened the local search. Nada. Reluctantly turned to the net. Ended up on Amazon. I really try to avoid ordering from Amazon. Amazon is wealthy. Its founder, Bezos is super-wealthy, as wealthy as a small nation. Doesn’t pay much in taxes, he or his corporation. That sort of matter irritates me. Plus, I hear his employees aren’t overly happy working for him.
So, avoid them when I can. But I went with the bowl on Amazon because, reviews, and convenience. Well, so much for convenience.
It shipped right out. Great. Was due for delivery yesterday. USPS. Okay. Was out for delivery at 6:10 AM. Either my wife and I were home all day. Never a time when both of us were out.
Checked the front porch throughout the day. Nada. Talked to Alexa about it. Chirpy as always, she assured me it was out for delivery. Went up and checked the mailbox at 6:30 PM. Nada. Checked online. Out for delivery. Okay.
First thing this morning, I asked Alexa about the delivery. “Your package was delivered to your selected pick up point.”
What the hell does that mean? I checked the front porch. Nada. Dressed, I prepared to walk up to our mailbox. On a whim, though, I checked online.
They said it was waiting for pick up. The USPS claimed that they tried delivering it at 4:02 PM. Now it happens that I know that I was at home at 4 PM. I was at that moment reading a book, “Law of Innocence” by Michael Connolly. I was doing that in the dining room, about fourteen feet from the front door. Facing the kitchen window. Which looks out at the front porch. I know that time because I was thinking that I had to make dinner but I wanted to walk a few miles and what time would I do these things? If someone walked onto the front porch, I would have seen them. Had they knocked, I would have heard them. If they rang the bell, you get it.
I was annoyed. No, pissed. Mostly because the USPS lied to me. Then they shifted the burden of delivery to me. I can either walk or drive a few miles to get the package they’d been hired to deliver.
Yes, I know. First world blues, right?
I decided to contact Amazon ‘customer service’ about. Can’t really call it customer service. It’s a bot that sent me around in circles without satisfaction. The bot said it was delivered. I replied, “I didn’t get it.”
“Did you look around the house?” the bot inquired.
No, I’m an idiot and this is the first time that I’ve ever had something delivered, I snapped back, but that answer wasn’t available to enter. You can only enter pre-canned responses. It makes it easier on Amazon. I selected, “Yes, I didn’t find it.”
“Well,” the bot replied, “the status was updated too early. It’ll get there.”
That was it.
I searched for ways to contact Amazon. They provided me a number to call USPS. I imagined how that call would go.
Yes, I know the answer to all of this. “You get what you pay for.”
I finally succumbed to talking to Amazon. Didn’t want to. Like most Americans, I prefer written correspondence. But I hit the button. Amazon called. I talked them through it. They contacted the USPS and brought them up on the call. “It was an early scan,” the USPS rep said.
Yeah, sure.
“It’ll be delivered tomorrow.”
Terrific.
They thanked me for my patience.
I hung up.
Tuesday’s Theme Music
The door to the sky opens at 5:35 AM. The sun’s first impact shades the night gray. Rosy yellows spread as the door grows further ajar. Tuesday, June 8, 2021, has begun its day in Ashland, Oregon. As always, jays acknowledge the event first. Crows add to the dawn conversation after a few minutes.
Air that seems related to fall is outside. Rain fell last night, dropping temperatures into the lower forty F. Thick, broken clouds mottle the blue sky. Temperatures are a far descent from normal, with highs just barely edging over sixty. So it’ll be, a spring fall day, until the door closes on the valley sun at 8:45 PM.
Today’s music of the walking kind. Hopefully dressed for summer, shorts and a tee, with a light fleece, an edgy wind knifes my bare legs, sending chills over my body as I do my thing yesterday. After just three quarters of a mile, smelling rain in the air, I call it and make the turn to home. Thinking of home brings a Delaney & Bonnie song out of mental retirement and into active thinking. Called “Coming Home” The song, made ‘with friends’, was released in the late sixties. It was one of my recurring songs as I traveled during twenty years in the military and then later in marketing for several years. Hope you enjoy it.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get that vax. Cheers
Parafloof
Parafloof (floofinition) – 1. Two animals.
In use: “Suzanne was thinking that she’d enjoy a parafloof but Atlas embodied the energy of three animals, so she kept putting the decision off.”
2. A trained animal who assists other animals.
In use: “The puppy was blind but the cat became his parafloof, showing him around the house, guiding him with sounds and gentle paw taps.”
3. A short composition about an animal or animals.
In use: “Social media has become a great animal adoption tool as photos with a parafloof based on the animal’s story are posted to attract people.”
Monday’s Theme Music
The sun popped up into the valley’s protective gaps at about 5:34 AM on this Monday morning. It’s June 7, 2021. When I typed Monday, Monday songs popped into my head as regularly as the sun rises. No songs came up when I thought of June or seven. Some came to mind after a little thought. Unlike 2021, which immediately brought a song to mind.*
The sun is due to set at 8:45 PM. Thinking about sunset unleashed an avalanche of songs. Likewise, painting another wall yesterday prompted painting songs to hit the mindstream. An exception was the song the wall sang to me, “Cover Me” (Springsteen), which hasn’t to do with painting at all.
Anyway, here is My Chemical Romance with “Famous Last Words”. Memory of that 2007 song hit the brainwaves while I finished painting. Cause I was thinking about how well things are going (only seven new cases of COVID-19 in our county! We’re tending down!). Which certainly seems like they could be famous last words.
Stay positive, test negative, wear the mask as needed, and get the vax. Cheers
*”In the Year 2525″. Nothing to do with this year, just the word, year.
Floofgate
Floofgate (floofinition) – A scandal involving animals.
In use: “The latest floofgate — given the more specific name of messgate — was the overturned kitchen trash can and broken, upended Christmas cactus. The cat and dog, knowing something wrong had been done but aware she didn’t know the floofpetrator — or had they been in floofhoots? — stayed motionless on either end of the sofa, watching her with large eyes, waiting.”
