Mewsing (catfinition) – a meowing noise a cat makes to make others wonder what the cat is thinking; people’s pondering about why a cat is meowing.
Flooyzygy
Flooyzygy (catfinition) – nearly straight-line configuration of three feline bodies at rest.
The Dare
It was such a small matter.
He said, “I’m going to go check the mail.” Musing about his phrasing, he reached for his shoes. He was not “checking the mail,” he was getting the mail. Odd, they always said, “Check the mail.” Where had that originated?
She said, “I dare you to go like that.”
Stopping, he looked at her. “Like what?”
“In your socks.”
He thought a moment. “Without shoes?”
“Yes.”
“What will you give me?”
As she considered her answer, he considered the temperature. It was thirty-five, but it was dry. “Okay,” he said.
She grinned. “You’re an idjit.”
Yes, he agreed, without speaking, leaving the house. It felt odd to be in his socks, walking on the sidewalk and up the asphalt street, different from being barefoot. His feet seemed to make a different side.
The cats followed him, of course. He saw several neighbors, of course. He waved and nodded to them. He didn’t know if they noticed he was wearing socks but not shoes. What did it matter?
It was a small matter, but it felt so very good.
In the Wings
She waited, not moving, listening for her cue as time moved forward. She was still outside, hanging on against the churning energy within her.
“If people saw inside me,” she said to herself, “they would see raging seas with towering, thundering waves and almost continual lightning and thunder. If people saw inside me, they would be awed. Many would be afraid. But those who knew, who were stronger — ”
The countdown shunted her thinking aside. She listened as the ball dropped. Then, as they shouted, “Happy New Year,” she strutted out, the first female year ever, passing the poor old year as he shuffled out, bent and wrinkled, bearded and male, off to the Home of the Old Years. She would be there in one year — the first female there, too — but one year was a lot of time.
Time enough to make some changes, fix some wrongs, and establish some new rights.
Grand Floofbah
Grand Floofbah (catfinition) – a haughty, self-important cat, or a cat with inflated self-regard.
Afloofyance
Afloofyance (catfinition) – a lapse in succession in which no cat is present in which a person’s life.
Catxis
Catxis (catfinition) – a feline’s customary practice or conduct
Our Last Beer
My social group met last night for the last time in 2017. It was a good time, as always, and we raised our glasses in a commemorative salute.
Six beerites were absent, including one recovering from injury and illness. We sent him a special salute that is guaranteed to improve recovery times.
If you make it to Ashland and want to join us for a beer, we meet at Northwest Pizza every Wednesday at 4:30 PM for our winter hours. We’ll resume meeting at 5 PM in a few months.
Happy 2018. Cheers
Catciliate
Catciliate (catfinition) – 1. actions or process taken to appease a cat; 2. to gain (as goodwill) by doing pleasing acts for a cat, such as purchasing and providing them snacks, and catnip.
2017 List of Grievances
Well, another season of Festivus has come and gone. I compiled a top ten list of my grievances. Many more grievances were out there, but this is what I aired to my friends and family.
Some of these reflect inside jokes. Just go with it.
Seidel’s Grievances 2017
TEN – Too many wildfires, not enough snow.
NINE – Too early for David Bowie, Tom Petty, and so many, many others.
EIGHT – Growing old sucks, but the alternatives suck, too. See number nine.
SEVEN – Injustice, harassment, and inequality all suck, and there was too much of it in 2017.
SIX – WAR – what is it good for?
FIVE – The next season of Game of Thrones is taking FOREVER.
FOUR – I forgot to get up when I peed last night.
THREE – My cats are smarter than anyone in the WH, have more empathy, and better manners.
TWO – Animal and child abusers deserve a special hell. So do trophy hunters.
ONE – All my beer and wine keep turning to urine.
And, as a special note, its limitations make WordPress exhausting to use sometimes.
I think, after reflecting on the list, that 2017 sucked for a lot of us. That could be its theme. So if we have a ball to see off 2017, the theme of the ball should be 2017 Sucked. Don’t know what that decor would resemble. Honestly don’t want to contemplate it too much, either.
By the way, I didn’t forget to get up when I peed last night. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
