Flerding (catfinition) – method by which a cat directs others to move.
In use: “By weaving between his legs and darting up against his legs, the big black and white long-haired tom’s flerding directed the man into his feeding area.”
Efloof
Efloof (catfinition) – an elite feline that’s permitted greater privileges and latitude than other felines.
In use: “Being the only cat in the household afforded Flash efloof status as her charming antics earned her human’s permissiveness.”
Size Matters
You ever buy a package of food, and read their claim on the package that it contains two point five servings in it? So you look at it, and think, “No way. That barely has enough in it for me.” You ever do that?
Yeah, what kind of con are they trying to pull on us?
Overheard 2
“It says it should be stored in a cold, dry place. I know of one, but I don’t think my wife would appreciate being referred to as a place.”
Oh, snap (to employ an outdated phrase).
Overheard 1
“How do you a bathroom open house?”
Silence answered, followed by gales of charming laughter.
So sweet.
Incatcerated
Incatcerated (catfinition) – confined, or closely restricted, by a cat.
In use: “The Maine coon cat was asleep against him on top of the duvet, incatcerating him against his will.”
Uncertainty
You ever get involved with writing and thinking about Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle and observer bias in quantum mechanics, and become uncertain about what you’re thinking?
It’s almost as complicated as trying to explain everything that’s happened on Game of Thrones.
Floofesis
Floofesis (catfinition) – a critical explanation of a cat’s behavior.
In use: “He had a startling gift for floofesis, watching cats and unpacking their behavior as though he was a cat himself.”
The Astral Level
He always thought his wife and best friend had something going on but he never found evidence. It was just the way they were together. When they died twenty-four hours apart in separate accidents, it seemed like confirmation to him.
They’d had something going on in the astral level. He’d never believe otherwise.
Mewguistics
Mewguistics (catfinition) – the study of cats’ meowing to understand what their meows mean.
In use: “Listening to Quinn’s running conversation and noting the many inflections the cat employed in his mews, Michael attempted to employ his mewguistics techniques of associating sound and behavior to understand what Quinn was saying, but the cat’s utterances were beyond his skill level.”
