Megafloof

Megafloof (floofinition) – Floofmerican heavy metal floof rock (flock) band. Formed in Los Flangeles in 1983, the band is considered one of the top thrash metal bands. Its lyrics and performances have caused several controversies, some called by misinterpretation of the band’s lyrics, and other incidents arising from drunk performances and ongoing feuds.

In use: “Megafloof’s illustrated mascot, Vic Rattlefloof, frequently appears on show posters and in concert signage.”

Floofblematic

Floofblematic (floofinition) – A difficult issue to solve involving animals.

In use: “Finding a stray can be floofblematic as the animal might be someone’s pet who has become lost, an issue that microchips and the database of pets and owners is hoping to reduce.”

Nine Inch Floofs

Nine Inch Floofs (floofinition) – Industrial floof rock (flock) band. Formed in Clevefloofland in 1988, the group’s name is frequently stylized as NIF, and their fans are known as NIFits. Nine Inch Floofs were inducted into the Floof and Roll Hall of Fame in 2020.

In use: “Nominated for thirteen Floofy Awards, Nine Inch Floofs won twice, including for their song, “Floofiness in Slavery” in 1996.”

Superfloof

Superfloof (floofinition) – A staple of the seventies and one of the biggest floof rock (flock) bands of the era, Superfloof was formed in London in 1970. Although they achieved commercial breakthrough with their third album, Floof of the Century in 1974, the group’s zenith came in 1979 with Breakfast in Floofmerica, which produced four top ten singles.

In use: “Superfloof’s 1979 release, “The Logical Floof”, was the group’s first number one hit in any country.”

Universal Floof Language

Universal Floof Language (floofinition) Method of using non-verbal communication to convey messages, often employed by animals to deal with less evolved species, such as humans.

In use: “After trying in vain to reach the human via floofspeak and then floofepathy, the stray cat finally employed Universal Floof Language, putting his tail up, opening his big eyes, purring while saying, “Meow,” which finally gained him some food, although not the specific menu request he had in mind.”

The Mid-Morning Treat

My wife made us energy balls yesterday. You’re probably familiar with some variation. Her no-bake recipe is peanut butter, dark chocolate chips, and oatmeal rolled up in a ball about one and a quarter inches in diameter. They’re about a two bite for me, so they’re a perfect little treat to have with a banana in the middle of the morning. I mean, banana, peanut-butter, and chocolate? That’s an awesome flavor combo.

Ha, ha, I kid. I love it but I know many don’t. One thing you learn quickly in life that the foods you love and hate aren’t the foods that everyone loves and hates. Example: raisins. My wife can’t stand raisins. I love raisins. Give me a cinnamon oatmeal raisin cookie, and I’ll be wagging my tail day into night.

No, not my wife. They disgust her. (smh). Meanwhile, she eats prunes every day. We both do. Lot of benefits to prunes, and they have a great flavor. I tell her, “Prunes taste a lot like giant raisins,” just to watch her reaction. Lips tight, she shakes her head in horror and denial.

She’s a big fig fan. Paul Newman Fig Newmans are our go-to grocery store cookie buy, but the wife loves fresh figs. Her eyes light up when we encounter them at the store. The price conversation then follows. “They’re so expensive.”

I shrug. “It’s just money. We have that money. Buy them.”

“Will you eat them, too?”

“Yes.” I do enjoy fresh figs as well.

“Okay, if you’ll eat them, too. Promise me you will.”

“I promise.”

I will eat one or two, to live up to my promise. She gets the rest.

Anyway, off to enjoy my treat (banana, peanut butter, and dark chocolate, remember?). Then I’ll wash it down with coffee.

Yeah, go ahead. Judge me.

Flooftherapy

Flooftherapy (floofinition) – Using an animal presence, sound, or image to achieve calm and peace, or to ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.

In use: “During the strains brought on in 2020, many people turned to flooftherapy, adopting animals from shelters, rescuing strays from streets, welcoming animals into their homes as friends and companions.”

Proof

There’s always a floof

looking for proof

that you really love ’em.

That you’ll give ’em food

no matter your mood

Or what you’re doin’.

A lot can be said

for sleeping with ’em in bed

at the end of a long day (or even a short one).

And they’re always presenting proof

that these loving floofs

are needed as much as they’re wanted.

Floofwreck

Floofwreck (floofinition) – Mess created by an animal, especially a pet.

In use: “With bits of toilet paper strewn in multiple places, curtains torn down, and a garbage can tipped over, the house was a floofwreck wrought by one innocent, now drowsy, puppy.”

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