Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofmaste (floofinition) – Traditional greeting of respect among animals, often accompanied by sniffing butts or touching noses.
In use: “Young animals are often taken aback by older animals offering floofmaste for the first time, but generally quickly grasp the concept as its origins and meanings are explained. Many then try it on humans, who are often amused or delighted.”
Floofrageous (floofinition) – Animal behavior which is not conventional or matter-of-fact.
In use: “Defining floofrageous behavior for people owned by cats is difficult as cats often stretch the boundaries of what’s acceptable, respectable, or normal.”
Somewhere in the future
I sit and read
various books written by me
I lounge on beaches
soak in the sun
drink wine and read
till night’s begun
I visit friends and families
hug them all hello
ask them how their day went
tell them how it goes
I visit restaurants and shop in stores
I run around the great outdoors
and if I want, I have a sit
whenever I want, until I quit
those days are possible
I know they’re coming
somewhere in the future
Floofnamics (floofinition) – A pattern or process of change, growth, or activity by animals or centered around animals.
In use: “Adding a new pet, no matter what their age, breed, or species, will often incur new floofnamics, forcing animals and people both into re-assessing what’s going on.”
Destiny’s Floof (floofinition) – Floof and blues band. Formed in 1990 Floofton, Floofxas, the band was achieved until 2006. While initially achieving limited success, they broke through in 1997 and eventually won three Floofies while scoring three number one hits in the Floofnited States.
In use: “Destiny’s Floof achieved two number one songs, “Pills, Pills, Pills” and “Bark My Name” from their second album, The Writing’s on the Floof, in 1999.”
Floofplay (floofinitiion) – Floofternative rock band form in London in 1996 who achieved worldwide stardom with the release of their first album in 2000, Parafloofs.
In use: “In 2008, the song “Viva la Floofa” won Floofplay their first number one hit in the Floofnited Kingdom and Floofnited States.”
Flooftoring (floofinition) – Act of teaching employed by animals to help humans learn what needs to be done.
In use: “Many animals discover that humans inexperienced in pet ownership require flooftoring to teach the humans to respond to their commands. The animals are often disappointed in the humans’ limited abilities to learn and grow, but the animals keep trying, usually through repetition of lessons.”
The Floofnd (floofinition) – Canfloofdian rhythm and floof singer and songwriter known for his floofcentric style. Born in Floofronto in 1990, he achieved his first significant international success in 2014.
In use: “The Floofnd’s first number one hit in Canfloofda was “Floof Hills” in 2015, while he’d hit number one with “Can’t Feel My Tail” in the Floofnited States, also in 2015.”
N.F.L. (floofinition) – National Floof League, organization of animals devoted to enlightening humans about floof lives and culture with the dual goals of eliminating animal abuse and enhancing relations between animals and humans.
In use: “The N.F.L. has a number of human members. Most, including Jane Goodall, were inducted for their work helping humanity understand animals.”
7:31 AM and 5:15 PM mark the times the sun rises and sets in Ashland, Oregon, today, Sunday, January 22nd. It’s 30 degrees F out, and feels like it. There are some days when the temperature doesn’t feel as cold (or as warm) as it’s supposed to be. That whole index and wind chill thing, I suppose. Today, though, felt 30 when we were out.
Yes, we were ninja shopping again, hunting fresh produce for soups, smoothies, and salads. My wife always times these things because experts say we should be in and out at the speed of sound because that confuses COVID-19. When people zoom by, COVID-19 reacts, “What was that? Someone there? Hello?” Then it forgets what it was doing and walks off muttering to itself, “I know I heard something. I know something was there.” Yes, COVID-19 is becoming old news.
I found myself humming “Days Like This” by Van Morrison. The song came out in 1995 but sounds like it’s from the 1960s. That makes sense because Van based it on the 1961 song, “Mama Said”, which was a hit for the Shirelles. I don’t know if I knew that before and had forgotten but Wikipedia claims it’s the truth, so it must be.
It was a day like this. My wife likes to be at the store at the beginning of time or the vulnerable hours, whichever comes first. I dislike shopping at the vulnerable hours, objecting to that expression, which is shorthand for “hour set aside for vulnerable and elderly people to go shopping”. To avoid the term, I tell myself we’re going at victory hour — you know, vee for vulnerable, vee for victory. I don’t want to call it the vee hours because there was a television show (and maybe a movie) called “Vee” about alien visitors. I don’t want to think of myself as a vee, in case I turn out to be a visiting alien the next time that I see a doctor. (Doctor: “It appears that you’re an alien.” Me, looking around, “Whooo, meee?”) Don’t mock me; my body is constantly revealing new information. Like, as my hair has thinned, I’ve noticed what appears to be a treasure map on my scalp. It could also be where a dead body is buried, so I’m not going to check it out, just to be safe.
On a side note, I had a special moment today. I went into the bathroom to do some business and not one of my three cats showed up to supervise, even though they’re all in the house and awake (because I saw them watching me on the way to the bathroom). Although I was first surprised, then hurt (“Don’t they care any more?”), I was then delighted to be in on the can alone. I so enjoyed it, I lost track of what I was doing and ended up wondering if I should paint the baseboards, of it they’ll just come clean with Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. Upon exited the restroom, I discovered one of my cats waiting for me. Looking at me, he said, “I would have come in, but it stinks in there.” He wasn’t smiling. (He sort of looked like Abe Vigoda as Fish on “Barney Miller”.) Then I encountered the other two cats waiting in the hall. They said, “He’s right, it stinks in there. You should have that checked out.” Like they know what they’re talking about. They’re cats. They can’t even open a can or use a spoon.
For the record, we were in the store for nineteen minutes and spent $115.10. That works out to $6.06 a minute. 2021 is gonna be an expensive year. I’m glad that we weren’t in there an hour.
Is there a song called, “Years Like This?”
Be positive, test negative, wear a mask, and get vaccinated. Here’s the music. Listen to it while I go get some coffee. I need it.
