Category: humor

Thursday’s Theme Music

We have a new and improved Wednesday at our fingertips. Never sullied by human behavior before, this Wednesday is an ideal gift for Mom or Dad, big brother or little sister, or even —

Excuse me, just a moment. The Neurons are clamoring for my attention.

What? It’s not. Oh. Well.

Sorry for the typo. This is a new and improved Thursday.

Aw, forget it. The magic is gone, the spirit is ruined.

This is Thursday, October 20, 2022, brand new, etc.

Sunshine unveiled itself in our valley at 7:29 AM and will illuminate our life until it’s turned away at 6:21. It’s 57 F now but 86 F is foretold for this afternoon. But the plants are whispering, “Rain is coming.” Not today, but it’s coming.

I have “livin'” on my mind as part of song titles, like “Livin’ on A Prayer”, “Livin’ on A Wing”, “Livin’ on A Hill”, and “Livin’ in a Can”. Don’t know which of those is an actual song, except I’m sure the first one is a Bon Jovi tune. Rising to the moment, The Neurons have thrust “Feels Like the First Time” by Foreigner (1977) into the morning mental music stream. They explain that it fits right in with the fact that this day is a brand-new day. (Side bar: couldn’t they have just used Sting’s “Brand New Day”?) They explain that in the Foreigner song are the words, “Never will again, never again,” which, The Neurons think, makes sense for a brand-new day: it’ll never be again, so make the most of it.

I’ll give them that since I lack the coffee energy to debate them. Stay positive, test negative, etc. Here’s the music. Enjoy it. Also enjoy your brand-new day if you can. We’ll hopefully get another one tomorrow. Now it’s coffee for me.

Cheers

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Demofloof

Demofloof (floofinition) – 1. An animal who shows or explains how things are done to other animals.

In use: “Parents, especially mothers, are often the demofloofs that young animals depend upon, but when the young are orphaned, other animals must take up the mantle of demofloof and show them how to be proper animals.”

2. An adherent of the premise of rule by animals.

In use: “Animals who witnessed and understood the butchery humans were inflicting on Earth were beginning the demofloof movement, advocating that animals should work together to reduce and limit human influence and take over.”

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Wednesday’s Wandering Thought

His wife, as she sometimes does, came in and said, “Just making sure you’re alive,” and then left for the gym.

It’s something she’s been doing for a few years. But he’d recently stayed with his mother, who twice told him that she was going to send someone down to his room to see if he was alive when he visited her.

Just what kind of vibe was he giving off to others that they wondered if he was still alive?

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Tuesday’s Wandering Thought

Everyone was worried about putting their trash cans out by the curb the night before pickup because of bears.

But most people’s trash cans are stored by the side of their house. Some are behind wooden fences, no doubt a robust protection against a bear (yeah, that’s snark). A bear can get these cans just as easily there as on the street, waiting for the trash collector. If they’re really concerned about bears getting into trash cans, they need to do a lot more than delay putting them out until the morning.

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Floofbucks

Floofbucks (floofinition) – 1. Money set aside to pay for things such as provisions, food, care, and toys planned for animals.

In use: “During an economy when inflation threatens spending plans and savings, many people become more mindful of their floofbucks because they need to keep their fur buddies healthy, fed, and happy.”

2. Black-market currency used by animals to buy favors and information from other animals.

In use: “Stray cats and dogs often scrounge for floofbucks by trading whatever they find to other animals, then using the floofbucks to buy information about houses where humans are known to be easy touches for animals.”

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Monday’s Wandering Thought

He finished reading an article on a Tampa Bay news site. At the end of the article was something he’d never before seen: a button to report typos.

Impressed, he nodded. Many sites would benefit from such a button. They could also use a button to report grammar and punctuation errors.

Hell, his own modest site would do with those buttons.

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Execflooftive

Execflooftive (floofinition) – Animal is who part of management or shares in the decision-making process.”

In use: “Quite often, people will include their pets in their decision making, asking the animals, ‘What do you think I should do’, for example. But that often leads to the animals assuming they have execflooftive privileges to eat what they want, sleep wherever desired, and do whatever impulse seizes them.”

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Monday’s Theme Music

Monday muscled into the morning, declaring, “Ready or not, I am here.”

It’s October 17, 2022. Half of October has fled under the bridge and over the horizon of the past. But they tell us the past doesn’t really exist once it’s done; really, all the previous days have evaporated, except for what we hold in our minds.

After reaching 95 F yesterday, half a dozen degrees higher than prepared for, today will drop into the upper seventies, maybe striking 80 (26 C). It’s a clear enough sky for it. Nothing but blue from my vantage. Trees have at last begun shifting colors here. Local leaves are mostly going gold or yellow.

Monday’s sunrise tiptoed in at 7:26 this morning like it had a hangover. Sunset will come at 6:26 this evening, just eleven hours later. Next Sunday, we ‘fall back’ in most of the U.S., resetting our clocks to be an hour later, part of a hugely debated bi-annual ritual adopted as law last century.

The Neurons were spying on me this morning. No surprise, right? The tiny peckerheads often do. Going about the usuals needed to void my body and begin to re-assume form and manners for being among humans, I found myself examining a memory about meeting a man. After carefully checking it to see where it came from, I realized it was from a dream – ‘we’d met each other in a dream.’ Case closed, I decided, but the dream was suddenly so vivid.

Well, The Neurons heard ‘we’d me each other in a dream’ and called up Heart and “Magic Man” (1976) for the morning mental music stream. It’s been going over and over in an endless loop, kind of like how phone calls and meetings take place on Monday. Chuckle, chuckle.

So that’s the theme music for this October Monday. Stay positively oriented and negatively tested when it comes to COVID and its variants and the flu. It is definitely coffee time for me. I’m positive about it. Here’s Ann and Nancy and the band with their song. Cheers

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Helifloof

Helifloof (floofinition) – An animal, particularly a pet, who pays close attention to another being, often a human.

In use: “The rescued puppy gained energy after a few days of care, showing a curious and playful nature while developing into a helifloof who was there for everything from people’s bathing to their eating and sleeping.”

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Sunday’s Wandering Thought

*throat is cleared*

He has a small, really tiny rant today. Websites like to entice him with a headline. While he reads that article, a video plays about the same article. Then, though, another video about a different article begins.

Seriously, WTF? It’s chaotic and annoying. They must think we’re children, running around, high on sugar and caffeine, too buzzy to pay attention.

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