Category: health

The Mom Exchanges

Mom, 90, suffering from several medical conditions, in on many medications. My sisters, Gina, Lisa, and Sharon, live not far away from Mom. An intelligent person and retired nurse, Mom moved into assisted living this year after a suicide threat which she denies.

Before that, she lived with her partner, Frank, in her own home. That changed when Frank died last October.

Gina took Mom in and gave Mom a room with a bathroom. Mom was initially happy but slowly professed that she hated it and wanted to leave and go back to her house. She then began accusing her son-in-law, Pat, of ‘using a device on her head to hurt her’, spying on her, and hiding her TV control.

Pat denies it all. Pat and Mom had a great relationship until five months ago, when Mom’s accusations began. Last September, he converted her back porch into a room so she could live in her house on one level. After Frank died, Pat set up the room for Mom in his house.

Mom has a consistent pattern of accusing others of being mean and hateful to her. She did that with Frank. I never witnessed Frank being like that.

When Mom moved in with Gina, Mom began accusing her of being mean and hateful. I visited for a while and never witnessed Gina being mean and hateful. Those traits are completely contrary to Gina’s personality.

I called to chat with Mom last September. She launched into a diatribe about Frank being mean to her. I said, “Mom, I’m not listening to this. We’ll talk later.” I waited for her to respond. She said, “Okay.” We said good-bye.

Mom reported to Gina that that I’d been mean and hateful and had hung up on her.

Mom told us that Lori is being mean and hateful to her.

Lori at the assisted living facility told us that Mom has given a notice to vacate. Mom told them she plans to return to her home.

Mom’s physical therapist, Jennifer, visited Mom this week. Mom claims that Jennifer witnessed Lori being mean and hateful.

Gina called Jennifer. Jennifer said she witnessed a heated exchange between Mom and Lori. She also reported that Mom is thriving there. She’s using a walker instead of a wheelchair, socializing, and eating well.

Mom told Jennifer that the conversation she was having with Lori was about moving out. Mom insists she’s moving back to her house. Jennifer related to Gina that she told Mom, “I don’t recommend that you leave here or go back home. You’re doing well here but you’re not capable of living on your own.”

I texted Mom today:

“Hey Mom, heard your plans to leave the facility in April. I want to understand your plan so I can stay in the loop. Where are you planning to go and have you talked to anyone about helping you move?”

Mom responded:

“I’m going to my house where I don’t have to pay 5500 a month and be screamed at by this boss. I’m having diarrhea today and last night. I finally got two Imodium‘s but I only have one big pad left many small ones Jennifer, my physical therapist stopped to see me on Tuesday and heard LORI screaming at me about medicine from Sam’s. She said oh, Dee this is too stressful for you. I said I know I’m paying her a fortune to be screamed at. I have asked Lisa when she brings me pads if she ever does to take me home no answer. I’ll probably have to pay Uber. I have to be out by April 18. I’m very surprised to hear from you.”

I replied:

“Thanks for explaining, Mom. I understand you want to go back home. Who is confirmed to help you get there with your things, and what day are you planning to leave?”

She answered:

“No one is confirmed to help me get there with my things. Gina and Sharon don’t speak to me and Lisa doesn’t answer me. All my friends are dead. Ever since Frank died how my children have turned against me, even though I went to the hospital in Gina was proving wrong. The night. I went to the hospital Pat said to me I need to talk to you. I was crying so hard. I said Pat all you have to do is say three words it’s all true and he did not do it so I lost my whole family.”

My sisters, Gina and Lisa, were with Mom when she went to the hospital. Pat was not. Gina and Lisa deny that Mom’s conversation and crying took place.

And that’s where we now stand.

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Thursday’s Theme Music — Trouble

Ashland, Oregon — Thursday, March 26, 2026.

It’s 35 degrees out with disorganized traces of thin fog and a bright blue sky. Today’s highs will carry the mercury into the sixties.

We have gnat trouble in our house. We’ve been slowly noticing the little critters. From what I’ve read, they may have started around the houseplants but have moved to the bathroom. My wife takes hot Epson salt baths and the skylight has a new ‘white film’ and a spider web up there is littered with gnat bodies. Now we need to address stopping these from spreading.

Adding to today’s troubles, my sisters are anxious about what’s going on with Mom. They’ve asked me to contact her about her plans. I was asked because I haven’t been publicly denounced as mean and hateful. My plan is just to ask her what her plans are and not to otherwise engage. I’m doing this by text as Mom has developed a confrontational communication style in the last year.

Mom’s activities are driving my sisters’ anxiety. Mom gave notice to the assisted living facility that she is moving out in April. She also informed them that she had contacted an elder abuse lawyer. She then changed all her prescriptions from the assisted living facility pharmacy back to Sam’s Club, where she used to get them.

It seems like Mom’s intention is to return to her house. That’s what she keeps saying she wants to do. But since she moved out last year, all the food has been removed, along with most of her belongings. The home was being readied for a sale in the spring, with Mom’s agreement. Everything now is topsy turvy.

My fingers are crossed that something useful will emerge from this attempt. I am not out to argue with her plans or try to make her see reason or anything. Just trying to see what she thinks is going on.

Political issues are troubling me on multiple levels. Locally, we’re working through what to do with the town hall. Plans are incubating to build a new complex, co-locating all local government facilities. The price attached to that is five million. But this is a town which already carries a heavy structural debt, has a large headcount and payroll, and has been cutting services while increasing service fees. Spending more money doesn’t seem prudent.

Nationally, I’m waiting to see what the jobs reports and inflation looks like next month. The Iran War has pushed up prices. We’re in a momentary lull with the war but Trump is issuing new threats, increasing tension again. This comes after he said that Iran gave him a very nice gift, and that Iran and the U.S. were negotiating, which Iran denies.

On a parallel course, the U.S. said it destroyed another four more ‘narco-terrorists’ when they destroyed another boat. No evidence has been presented to date that the people they’re killing are involved with drug smuggling, or that the drugs were destined for the U.S.

Different trouble-oriented songs were served up by The Neurons in the morning mental music stream. I ended up with a 957 recording of B.B. King of “Troubles, Troubles, Troubles”. It’s such a classic sound and just fits my mood.

I hope the best for you and yours, no matter where you are. May peace and grace carry you forward through all your troubles.

Cheers

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Wednesday’s Theme Music – Far Away

Ashland, Oregon — Wednesday, March 25, 2026.

It’s a quietly rainy day out there. Clouds are cemented together against encroachments of sunshine and blue sky. Temperature isn’t bad, 51 F. 54 F is the prospective high.

Made an appointment with a urologist for a cystoscopy in May to figure out what caused the blood in my urine. It’s abated, far as I can tell but other tests show something growing in my bladder. They’re going to go in and see what that is.

I haven’t read much news this morning. A ‘something is about to happen’ vibe seems to be humming. Trump had threatened bombings which were against modern rules of war and gave a Monday PM deadline. Then, Monday morning, he reversed himself. That news changed financial markets. Traders made money by making moves just fifteen minutes before Trump made his announcement that he was holding off on further bombing.

What a coincidence.

I did read another comprehensive story about Epstein’s death.

I’m indulging in another day of reflections about Mom. We, her family, can’t just converse with her without it spiraling into deeply disturbing, frustrating patterns. She’s now saying the same thing about her primary assisted living contact that she said about my sister and about Frank. “She’s mean to me. She screams at me. I’m so unhappy here.”

It tears my sisters and I apart to see Mom be in this situation. We feel helpless and resigned.

I ended up with The Neurons playing “So Far Away” by Carole King in the morning mental music stream. Her songs with her singing them came out while I was in high school. Her album, Tapestry, resonated with so many young women in my life then. The songs were being heard everywhere.

I’m a rocker and leaned toward The Who and Pink Floyd as examples of my preferences back then. Yet her songs’ sensibilities and melodies worked.

The song arrived today because sis, who took Mom in, is really feeling it and reacting now. Venting a great deal. I can do very little except lend a shoulder because I’m so far away. And as I thought about it, Mom is far away in space and memory, far away from who she was. Going ‘home’ next time will be a very different place and experience.

Let me get off my pity pot. I hope your day and relationships surpass wonderful, it’s an excellent day of peace and grace for you.

Cheers

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Tuesday Theme Music – Imaginary

Ashland, Oregon – Tuesday, March 24, 2026.

It’s warming today but not like much of the continental United States. Currently 68 F, our 75 F high will give us a comfortably warm day.

My wife purchased this little art piece for the house. It’s perfect for us, as we both enjoy reading, and I also write. I enjoy the little reader statue so much, I thought I would share.

My life is otherwise auto-pilot quiet as we go through routine tasks and await news or results.

As I often do, I began reading the news today and ended up struck with some ideas which evolved into a small piece about Trump world. I split it off.

Meanwhile, the basic theme stayed with me: imaginary. Much of Trump’s existence is based on false ideas, misconstrued history, and things which he imagines. My Neurons sensed the direction and introduced “Imaginary Lover” by ARS into my morning mental music stream.

It fits, though: “Imaginary lovers never turn you down.” That’s Trump and his base all the way; they never turn him down.

Also, despite all the files being suppressed and the history that shows Trump was friends with Epstein, Trump is trying to insist that’s not true. He’s trying to tell us that we imagine his relationship with Epstein.

I chuckled when I heard the song in my head. How many of Trump’s base imagine him as their lover?

I hope your day is comfortable, safe, and leaning toward optimistic outcomes.

Cheers

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Monday’s Theme Music – Addictions

Ashland, Oregon — Monday, March 23, 2026.

Spring has a solid hold on our stretch of valley. 59 F and sunny, we’re heading to the upper 60s today. Good weather if you’re a feline looking for a sunny place to nap…

I will do more yard work. I did all of my tasks yesterday, including pulling weeds. But the weeds have had a very successful year. If I could sell them, I’d be a thousandaire.

I had to again break off part of this post to create a Trump-centric post. I think Trump voters are addicted to hate, and Trump himself addicted to power. He’ll do anything to elevate himself. Lies, fake information, bragging are not beyond him. Nor is AI generated content showing him to be superhero strong, smart, and healthy. To those of us outside of his sphere, we see these things and shake our head, muttering, “What the fuck?” It’s amazing how many of his base can’t see the truth; it’s more amazing to see how many are willing to lie and just go along with Trump. It’s frankly sickening to see how low they’re willing to stoop to pretend things are going great with Trump in office.

Nothing new on Mom nor my health. Just awaiting developments on these fronts.

I ended up with The Neurons playing “Addicted to Love” in the morning mental music stream. It arose from thoughts that Trump is addicted to hate, and his base are addicted to him. I always enjoy the Night of the Proms series so I was pleased to find this video to present.

Hope your life finds you moving forward, healthy, happy, and safe.

Cheers

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Trump – On the Face of It

As I read news and reflected on trends and events, I realized that not a whole lot will change once Trump is out of office. It’s a sad reflection but the MAGAts are dedicated to him. Doesn’t matter how well the country is or who is POTUS. They will always insist that Trump was better.

The evidence is clear. They disparaged President Biden as being too old, too tired, insisting he didn’t have it together mentally. Yet, with Trump now the oldest elected president and clearly showing signs of not having it together, they talk about other things.

Trump promised to do so many things — release Epstein files, no new wars, lower prices — and did none of it. They still love him.

Trump policies meanwhile are tremendously destructive to fresh air and water. He rolled back regulations after decades of progress. A reactionary, he’s undermining climate change efforts, sustainable clean energy projects, free trade, and healthcare. Doesn’t care what that does to people and doesn’t care what it does to the nation and world.

And his base love it. They always love it until it hits them in the face. Even then, though, they’ll insist, he’s still better than a Democrat.

Trump feeds off that. Despite telling the world that he is a unifier, Trump doesn’t just politically blast political opponents or their policies. He makes it personal and hateful. Democrats are denigrated as scum and the enemy. These are United States citizens and account for half of the adult population or more.

Trump says half the nation is ‘the enemy’.

His deployments of ICE and national guard units reflect this thinking. He sends in troops and law enforcement to battle protestors, calling them ‘terrorists’ when they’re nothing of the kind. ICE killed Renee Nicole Good; Trump called her a terrorist. ICE killed Alex Pretti; Trump called him a terrorist. Trump accused Good and Pretti of being violent, threatening ICE agents. Videos show the truth, that neither person threatened others.

Every act of violence, such as Charlie Kirk’s murder, is blamed on the left, no matter what facts show.

Trump’s base has embraced it all, and anyone in the GOP who wants to be the party’s next leader sees and understands what Trump has done. JD Vance had already demonstrated the spine of a jellyfish and will eagerly say and be whoever that base wants him to be. The message is hate, the enemy is progress, and the goal is power.

That’s the lesson that Trump has bestowed on the GOP. He wasn’t the first. He’s the latest in a line but clearly the most nakedly selfish, self-serving, lying, ignorant person to hold office.

Sadly, too many Republicans are willing to go along with this charade, pretending that Democrats — and immigrants — have never brought anything worthwhile to our nation. So long as that base willingly rides the tide of hate and ignores the truth, facts, and history, they will be a force we must endure and turn back.

All we can do is remind ourselves of history, keep track of the truth, and keep pushing back until we finally start moving forward again.

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Running Late: A Dream

I was running late! Very late!

Arriving at where I needed and expected to be – which was never fully realized but was full of busy people – I found the people I work with/for were gone! Worse, I didn’t have the clothing or office equipment like computers and phones which I required.

Tense seconds were spent cursing and thinking. Then, I knew that my team would have provided for me. I just needed to find that stuff.

Considering the environment, I didn’t see anywhere or anything obvious until I spotted a pallet of trash.

Yes, they would hide it there.

I pulled the top of the trash away. Below it was a large black plastic shipping bag. I tugged it out and opened it. Inside were materials marked with my name, including phone, laptop, clothing, and several folders containing information about my assignment and tickets for my trip.

Relieved, I dressed and began wending through the crowd, on my way again.

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Saturday’s Theme Music – Round and Round

Ashland, Oregon — Saturday March 21, 2026.

56 F, spring is holding on against a late winter effort. Today’s sky favors heavy cloud blanketing and pots of sunshine. Blue has been shouldered out of the scene. Our high will tap the low sixties and tomorrow is supposedly going down into the 30s at night.

Round and round is going round my head. I began writing about the news. It became so Trumpcentric, I split it off.

I’m also going round and round with health matters. It’s bizarre to me because I feel pretty damn good. Could lose a few more pounds, and if you’re giving out miracles, put some hair back on my head.

They found a mass in my bladder yesterday. Not big, something like 2cm. We’ll check it out next week, see what it is, deal with it. The CT scan said liver, intestines, spleen, pancreas, appendix all look good. No loose fluid. Kidneys are intact and the right one has come calculi. The summary says all those things look just like they did in the 2021 scans, when kidney stones advanced out of my left kidney. Oh, what a night.

Everything with Mom is going round and round. The tale is familiar and old. Mom seems happy, enjoying others’ company, goes silent with all. All seems well. Then WHAMO. We’re bowled over by unexpected news and then wait for updates. Mom is being very cagey. We’re letting the assisted living home and county adult social services run the show.

So round we go, weather, health, Mom, Trump. The Neurons have blessed me with “You Spin Me Round” by Dead or Alive in the morning mental music stream. The song’s sentiment is about seeing and wanting someone. The disco beat just has me hooked on the idea that things keep me going round like a record.

Amusing: do the children know what it means to go round like a record?

Probably as much as I knew about ‘going spooning’ or a bicycle built for two.

Going round with a cup of coffee now. Hope your day goes well and peace and grace came around.

Cheers

4

Trump: Round and Round

Round and round and round we go.

Where we’ll end up, nobody knows. Especially Trump.

I saw a comment the other day which summarizes Trump voters for me. I remember what they said but not who said it:

“Trump didn’t betray you. He showed us exactly who he is. You betrayed us.”

Look at these headlines.

Trump rules out ceasefire as US sends more troops to Middle East

Trump says US considers ‘winding down’ Iran military effort

US Sends Another 2,500 Marines to Iran as Ground Option Emerges in War

Same war, same Trump, intentions going everywhere in a lost haze of thought.

TSA lines are causing traffic delays as TSA agents don’t come to work. Why should they? Trump is not paying them because of his partial government shutdown.

Now, some small regional airports might shut down due to Trump’s partial government shutdown.

As oil prices go up, so do gas prices at the pump but analysts warn that oil prices will hit every sector because of shipping. Meanwhile, another set of analysts warn that we’ll probably start seeing food prices increasing because of Trump’s tariffs — from ‘liberation day’ of last year. Companies were spreading the costs out among multiple products and lines to spread increases and ease the pain. Now, forced to the wall, Food Navigator thinks the price increases will be more direct.

My wife and I are forever laughing about economists and their expectations. Earlier this month, the poor jobs growth surprised them. Now APNews reports it’s consumer wholesale prices.

U.S. wholesale prices came in hotter than expected in February, driven partly by a sharp increase in food costs.

The Labor Department reported Wednesday that its producer price index — which measures inflation before it hits consumers — rose 0.7% from January, and 3.4% from February 2025. The year-over-year increase was the most since February 2025.

The price gains were bigger than economists had forecast, and they occurred before the U.S. and Israel attack on Iran pushed energy prices sharply higher.

It’s like, where do these economists live and shop that they don’t walk into a place and notice prices going on month by month? It’s surreal.

Now my wife and I are trying to figure out what a ‘K-shape economy recovery’ looks like. I’m telling you, if it’s not one thing…

Oh, BTW. Remember how Trump said he and one of his Republican lackeys had a great plan to send a hospital ship to Greenland? Surprised everyone because we all knew the Navy’s hospital ships weren’t available, but Trump’s ‘plan’ grabbed headlines and distracted everyone from the Epstein files for a few days. No ship was ever sent.

I mention it now because Trump signed an executive order to have the government work with the NCAA and whatever so that the Army-Navy football game is the only game being broadcast.

That smacks of classic Trump distraction. Polls for him are down, the economy is swirling around the toilet, and the Epstein files still haunt him. Now, what he thought would be a one and done in Iran is a growing disaster. Quick! Distraction: Army-Navy game.

Who still falls for his inanity these days?

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