Flooftirement(floofinition) – 1. Withdrawing from activities, work, or social commitments to spend time with animals.
In use: “After more wearying, depressing news, he went into flooftirement with his cat, dog, and a book, figuring the world could go on without him but he couldn’t go on without them.”
2. An animal’s withdrawl or change of status from a working position or occupation.
In use: “He’d been a working dog, a service dog which gave his person needed emotional support, and when she passed on, he gratefully accepted flooftirement to a quiet home.”
Subfloofidant(floofinition) – Placed or occupying a lower class or rank, or considered an inferior position to an animal, particularly a pet.
In use: “Samantha always felt she was subfloofidant to her husband’s dogs — he had two — but he’d had them before he’d ever met her, but then he had to go away on business, and suddenly she and the dogs were having a love affair, and, well, the dynamics were pretty different after he came back, with him now living as the subfloofidant one.”
BFT (floofinition) – Floof shorthand for ‘Begging for treats’.
In use: “Tucker told Papi, ‘Stand back, kid, and watch a master BFT.’ Settling before his human, Tucker began with the big eyes, then magnified it into an intense gaze. As his human continued ignoring him, Tucker added a loud, Merow,’ and tacked on a purr like an idling diesel engine.”
WTF (floofinition) – Shorthand slang for ‘What the floof’, an expression people with animals often employ when they see what the animals have done.
In use: “Seeing photos of pet mischief and destruction wrought by cats and kittens, dogs and puppies, and goats and birds on the net, commenters responded with laughing emoticons and ‘WTF’.”
Polyfloofmy(floofinition) – Established relationship with more than one animal.
In use: “Many people driven by desires to save animals and give them a home or because they think their pet is bored, embrace polyfloofmy, but some do it because they find animals engaging, entertaining, and loving, and often prefer to be with them rather than other humans.”
Floofkrieg(floofinition) A fast and sudden animal attack.
In use: “Many people with young animals such as kittens and puppies are subjected to floofkriegs on their persons as the young floofs practice stalking and hunting to develop their bodies and improve their coordination.”
Slinky Floofy(floofinition) – A common exercise routine used by my animals, which calls for the animal to stretch its limbs while lowering itself to the ground. In its most basic configuration, the animal stretches either the rear or front limbs first, followed by the other end, will lowering their body as far as possible.
In use: “Quinn was a master of the slinky floofy, almost flattening his chest to the ground as he splayed his paws and stretched his front legs, and then leaning forward, lowering his rear as he extended his rear rear legs to their maximum.”
Yesterday was a gorgeous day locally, and today extends a promise that it came be the same. Today is May 17, 2022, a Tuesday, as it goes. The sun crowded into the valley at 5:48 AM. It was already in the mid fifties by then. Now it’s up to the low sixties, and we expect a high around 73 F. As I noted, it’s much like yesterday. Sunset should come at 8:27 PM.
We breakfasted out this morning, the first time we’ve eaten breakfast out locally since Feb. 2020. See, back in 2019, we participated in an auction to support exchange students with our sister city in Mexico. One of the things we successfully bid on was a gift card for one of our local favorite restaurants, Brothers. My wife has some anxiety that COVID-19 will surge back into the area as tourism kicks in and people become complacent, so we took advantage of the low local numbers to use our gift card. She had mushroom and onion omelet while I did the Mediterranean scramble with artichokes, dried tomatoes, feta cheese, kalamata olives, and spinach. It was a pleasant, relaxing, and welcome change to our routines of the past two years.
I ran into a very friendly big black dog while I was out walking yesterday. Muzzle grayed with age, his body went into a hyper frenzy of wagging, like we were favorite cousins encountering one another after decades away. I was in the street so I worried that he was a stray but his person came out and reassured me. The dog and I spent a few minutes together and then he went home with his person, back to his yard. After I resumed walking, the neurons unleased “Black Dog” by Led Zeppelin into my mental music stream, where it still resides this morning.
So, here’s the music, and there’s my coffee. Stay positive and test negative, you know? Right. Cheers
FloofFlock(floofinition) – Video-focused social floofworking service which that provides short formats produced by animals for animals.
In use: “Many animal videos on FloofFlock center around pranks that pets play on their humans, such as hiding items like car keys, prescription glasses, and phones, or stealing socks from the laundry.”
Michael Seidel, writer 