Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
The Floof Body Problem (floofinition) – In households with animals, the floof body problem is the issued encountered when an animal or floof is asleep or comfortable on an individual who needs to move.
In use: “Once they adopted two cats, Mel and Karla started encountering the floof body problem as the new boys found comfort on the humans’ laps, stalling efforts to get up to eat or pee, or just move because part of them had gone numb.”
FISS – (floofinition) – Floof Impaired Sleep Syndrome; condition where rest is disrupted by animals. Usually associated with housepets.
In use: “Between Tucker hunting down Michael’s hand for some nocturnal loving and Papi’s demands to go out and back (times four), Michael sometimes suffers FISS and needs a cuppa coffee just to start feeling human in the AM.”
SEGP (pronounced seagep) (floofinition) – Flooflosophy followed by many housepets, SEGP is sleep, eat, groom, play. Floof SEGP adherents, often called seageptians, believe following the flooflosophy helps them achieve a longer, more satisfying life.
In use: ‘When the young cat met the household’s established bird resident, the latter told the cat, “We follow SEGP in this house.” The cat replied, “I’m not familiar with that.” The bird answered, “See the dog. He’ll teach you.”‘
Furocious (floofinition) – An animal who acts or appears intimidating but is very friendly and gets along with everyone.
In use: “The dog looked like something out of Game of Thrones, huge, black, wolfish, with sharp golden eyes, but loved people and animals, especially young and sick animals, eagerly taking care of and watching over them.”
Honeyfloof – (floofinition) – An especially sweet animal.
In use: “Depite a pugilistic nom de floof, Rocky was a honeyfloof, always making friends, no matter what critter he meant. Except flies. They were his one weakness.”
Floofking (floofinition) – 1. The ruling animal of a household, group, etc.
In use: “Everyone assumes the floofking must be male because of the human definition of king, but per the flooftionary, a floofking is the dominant animal regardless of gender, size, or species. Humans tend to think themselves as the floofking of their domain, as do cats.”
2. A human who is able to manage and influence animals.
In use: “Marjorie was the neighborhood’s unquestioned floofking — a cat – dog – bear whisperer, according to stories — interacting with everything, especially crows, who happily joined her whenever she left the house.
3. To play like an animal or engage in play with an animal.
In use: “Soon after arriving home, Lucy showed up at Bob’s feet with her favorite toy, ready for a period of floofking.”
Michael Seidel, writer 